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How to help wife cope with loss of mother from Lung Cancer

losthusband
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2015

Good day all,

My wife lost her mother the day after X-mas to cancer. Since then she has started to become so numb and distant. I have been trying what I can to help her cope with it, she still thinks her mom is alive.

 

I am trying to help her get to the acceptance that her mother has passed on to heaven and she needs to remember the good times that she had with her.

 

I am certainly a lost husband, as it hurts me inside that I cannot help her.

 

I am doing all I can emotionally in my power, I suggested she speak with a grief counseler, but she was not interested.

 

Need help from those are are coping with this....

 

Thanks!

rdn2blazer
Posts: 47
Joined: Sep 2013

The grief counceling would certainly help. Need to work on her to go. Don't just ask once and let it go. Unless she gets really upset about it. Wish I had better advise for you. Just be there for her as much as possible. Good luck my friend

Twister2323
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2015

@losthusband

i am 39 yr old mom/wife and found out my 64 yr old mom had stage 4 cancer last June 2014.  My mom is still battling but I came to this site to find some way to understand my pain and as you said numbness and extreme pain and sadness.  My husband tries to hug me and talk to me because he loves and cares for me but I feel pretty hurt and not sure how to talk about this.  My mom hasn't even passed yet and I am having a hard time.  

I understand how your wife feels bc I feel the same.  I really hope this doesn't affect my family and kids from me being "distant or checked out" at times but I don't know how to be a real person when all I can think about is my dying mom that is loosing her life as we speak.   I never know if today is the day she looses her awareness and starts to slip away.   

if your wife ever wants to share with me that would be okay.  I am looking for someone to talk to that understands bc I don't and I have no one to communicate to.  

Take care and 

Cancer sucks.....

V/r,

Desiree'

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