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jackflash22's picture
jackflash22
Posts: 520
Joined: Aug 2013

my partner was found to have nodules, imflammation, and fibrosis in his lungs. He's a smoker and won't stop. He refused a biopsy and keeps missing his appointments. He's in completes denial that it could be serious. I can't make him although I try to persuade him and tell him the sooner he has treatment the  better. It's been 8 months now since his CT scan. He is due to have another next month and already saying it's a waste of time and that he's OK. He's never until now gone to a doctor and the last time he went to a dentist was many years ago. Now he's stopped his eye tests as he has macula degeneration aNd can no longer read and can hardly see the TV. His quality of life is almost nil. He hasnt gone out anywhere for many years and has no friends. We have family and he enjoys the grandchildren. His daughter, a wife and mother died of ovarian cancer 3 years ago, she went very suddenly after being diagnosed so it was a shock. He loved her very much. It seems to me he has a death wish. I saw our doc on my own and he prescribed anti depressants but they are untouched in his drawer. I'm writing this to see if anyone has such a stubborn husband, son or partner. I had head and neck cancer last year and went to all my treatments, neck disection and radiation and I never once moaned to him about it although I went through the treatment alone, he wont even visit a hospital. I'm in despair how I can get him to treatment. He says doctors are killers and all they want is money. Sorry about the moan but I'm getting to the stage of giving up on him and let nature take it's course.

dennycee
Posts: 836
Joined: Mar 2011

I suspect you know already that he has made a decision.  It's not what you would choose for him or you.  You have a spark of love for living that he does not.  It's not something you can share or make happen in others.  Believe me, I've tried.  I wish I could be more positive.  Prayer is the best tool now.  Pray that he realizes what a gift life really is.  

jackflash22's picture
jackflash22
Posts: 520
Joined: Aug 2013

thanks for that Dennycee, he's not in any pain and seems contented around the house, it's his comfort zone, if we have visitors he's always upbeat with them. He sleeps a lot in the daytime and his breathing is fast and wheezie. It hasn't been said by the only specialist I managed to get him to that he has cancer, they wanted to do a biopsy which he refused. I may be jumping to conclusions that it cancerous symptoms there are other things.

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