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Spoon Theory - If Only I Could Make Them Understand

TheLadySkye's picture
TheLadySkye
Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2013

While lamenting this rather frustrating and unfortunately common occurrence in my life, a friend shared this article on the Spoon Theory:

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

This totally made me cry, and I absolutely wish I could make everyone who loves me or gets frustrated with me or doesn't understand or kindly tells me, "But you look so good!" read this. And spend time thinking about it. I don't think most would truly understand, and I'm actually GLAD that they can't because it means they've never been so deeply and long-term sick. But it would be nice to be met with understanding rather than confusion or disappointment when it's too cold, or I just ran out of energy through nothing I did or didn't do, or my headspace just isn't awesome on any particular day. It would be nice for an actual understanding of, No, I can't just forget and move on. My body and mind don't let me. And this is NOT mutually exclusive to the "You have to stay positive!" that so many wonderful well-wishers offer. I appreciate the sentiment. I WANT to be positive. But that doesn't stop fear and pain and tests and feelings of unwellness from reminding me that for as positive as I want to be and try to be, I'm sick, it hurts, it sucks, and that doesn't just go away because I want it to.

But I hope it will someday :)  And I hope I'll have some extra spoons to share with someone else who needs them more than I do.

TheLadySkye's picture
TheLadySkye
Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2013

Sorry I can't figure out how to make the link an actual link.  I fail at technology!

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

I copied and pasted the link and read it. I've seen it before but had forgotten how good it is. I'm positive for lupus, that was my big health issue fear before being diagnosed with the colorectal cancer. Anyway, it's a good way of looking at it or helping someone else understand. I'm not sure that people really want to to know if they're healthy, though. I know that I now know far more about cancer and how people suffer to live than I ever wanted to know. It haunts me.

I'm so sorry you're having a tough time. Sometimes the feelings are so overwhelming and I just sit and cry. I often cry on the way to the cancer centre because the rest of the time I try to pretend I don't have it but at that time it's so in your face. Hugs for you. I wish I had more to make you feel better but I have nothing to offer. I'm sorry.

thxmiker's picture
thxmiker
Posts: 1282
Joined: Oct 2010

False positives for Lupus is common for Colon Cancer.  If you do not have Lupus symptoms, I would get tested by a specialist.

 

Best Always,  mike

 

PS  I tested positive for Lupus also.  I saw a specialist and he told me unlikely that Lupus showed up in me at 45 years old, and no other family member has it.

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