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does it get better

Posts: 14
Joined: Dec 2013

Dear Cyber Friends,

Its been 3 months since my brother passed away. I thought by now the pain would have been better but its only gotten worse. I cant get past this. I have so many questions in my mind and in my heart. I miss him so much that my heart just aches. Everything in my home reminds me of my brother. Yesterday I found myself sniffing the hat that he last wore and I could smell his scent and it just went back to the way I used to help him dress, help him feed himself and all the things that he could not do for himself....it hurts.

Can somebody help me understand what happens when a person dies. I know that they go to the Lord but can they hear us and see us or are they just gone away. My dad, a minister, today told me that my brother cannot see or hear me. It made me so angry and I became so sad because now I am beginning to believe that this life is so selfish and our purpose is so distorted. I know that God does not want me to believe that He is selfish and I do not want to be angry with the whole world.

I await response from someone who can tell me what happens to a born again child of God when they die.

Trubrit's picture
Posts: 5382
Joined: Jan 2013

Do YOU believe that your brother can hear you when you speak to him? If the answer is yes, then he can. 

Nobody can tell me that when I think or speak of loved ones that have passed, that they don't hear me. I KNOW they do. Do I have proof, no, but in my heart, I know that they feel my love and hear my words. 

I have some little chimes hanging in my hallway (chimes have a special meaning for me and my Bert). Often, when I pass, I tinkle those chimes, and say 'Bert' (Bert was my Dad in all but signature). I know that he can hear me, and knows I am thinking about him (actually, he passed, five years ago today). 

In fact, I believe it so much, that when I'm playing a Bee Gees song, knowing that two of the brothers have passed, they get know that someone is enojoying their music. 

I believe that our loved ones are allowed to feel our love, and hear our words.

My belief is that when we pass, our loved ones are there to greet us. What all we get to do in that great beyond, I have no idea, but I do feel that the ties that bound us on earth are bound in Heaven. 

As you see, I have my own personal belief about what happens after death. Others belifes may differ. You have to find out for yourself and be comfortable with what you believe. 

I pray that you will find peace in the months ahead.  Don't feel bad that you are still grieving, it is still early days. But, you must not let your grief consume you, as I'm sure your brother would not want that. He is freed from his sick body. Try to find peace in that thought. 

We are always here for you.

Sue - Trubrit

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 92
Joined: Sep 2012

Close your eyes and clear your mind....what do you feel?  Not superficially, but what do you feel deep down inside that place that we all know we have (but often ignore or cannot feel it becuase of all the 'noise').  Do you feel him?  I believe that we are all interconnected through energy and love.  The more you open your mind, the more you feel it.  Talk to your brother, he, and the universe, can hear you.  As to what happens when you die, I think the physical body is gone but the energy remains, in a different form.  You can call it the soul, the sprirt, etc.  Love can heal <3

Helen321's picture
Posts: 1424
Joined: May 2012

I don't have the answer but I do hope you consider counseling. My friend lost her husband last year and shevsaid counseling has helped her immensely. Talking it out is very therapeutic.

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