Blindsided..

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ComfortablyNumb
ComfortablyNumb Member Posts: 45
in Breast Cancer #1

So..wow. Things were going really well (I thought). Had a lumpectomy in December after 13 rounds of chemo, and my lymph nodes were clear. Did my 29 radiation treatments finishing in April. Sailed through my 3 month check up with the surgeon.

 

And then I saw my medical oncologist two weeks ago. He noticed something "strange" on my blood tests and sent me in for a CT scan. I naively thought that this was a routine follow up they did. Went back today for the results.

 

Stage 4. Lesion on the liver. 

 

I'm in complete shock right now. I never ever ever EVER thought this thing was gonna get me, not for a minute. Maybe I should have, because I literally don't know what to do now.

Even as i'm typing this it feels like i'm talking about someone else, or something I saw on TV. I can't believe it's happening.

 

I'm afraid to go to sleep because if I do then it means that this day was real and this is actually happening to me.

 

I'm 31 years old. Seriously, how is this happening?!?

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Comments

  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #2
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    I am very sorry

    I am very sorry . You are right about being too young to have cancer, even more shoking to have a progression to your liver. 2 years ago  my PET scan showed progression to my bones in multiple locations and i still remember similar feelings I could not belive it was happening to me, honestly I still cannot ... Your doctor probobly will request biopcy of the liver lesion

    Your first several weeks will be very hard, it was devastating for me. As soon as i had a treatment plan in place and started taking an oral Chemo Xeloda I did feel much better emotionally and physically. Ladies from this site supported me in addtion to my family. Many have been undergoing treatment for stage 4 and their stories have been inspiration for. Please stay connected it does take courage and enormous willpower to fight back believing in yourself.

    Nobody knows how this is happening, new drugs and immunotherapies are underway. Please stay strong you will win

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #3
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    so sorry to hear....I am

    so sorry to hear....I am thinking of your and sending good thoughts your way...

     

    hugs

     

    Denise

  • cati0314
    cati0314 Member Posts: 203
    #4
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    Legion on liver

    I know how devastastating this is for you, believe me.  I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop but I have to tell you that there are so many advances that I'm sure there will be a plan for you.  Please gather your strength and move forward.  I've seen so many stage 4's doing well.  Sending you strength and prayers.  

     

    Sharon

  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    #5
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    I am so sorry to hear this.
    I was 44 when first diagnosed and 52 when diagnosed with stage iv to bones and skin. Then 3 months later 3 lesions to my liver. Good news-- the origional 3-6month prognosis came and went 3 1/2 years ago. The liver mets disappeared with chemo immediately and my liver functions have been perfect since. A few months back, there was another spot that they thought was a liver tumor, but a ct scan and ultra sound showed it was a cyst.
    It has not been easy, and the reason for the prognosis was the widespread aggressive tumors, yet I am still here, driving, walking, and functioning. One of my very good friends here that I met in a support group, was diagnosed stage 4 at the onset at 48 years old with idc er +, pr+, her 2 +, and it had already spread to her liver. The liver tumor was almost the size of one of the entire lobe. They did chemo first to shrink the breast tumor and were planning on taking the affected half of the liver.
    When they did the ct scan b4 the surgery, the liver tumor was not to be found. They did a pet, and an ultra sound. She had a bi-lat mastectomy, but held off on reconstruction. She finally had the reconstruction surgery at the 4 year mark. They were holding off because of the liver, they were sure it would resrface. After her mastectomy, they did a year of chemo, no radiation, and she is still getting herceptin infusions every 2 weeks, but she is pretty healthy. Her liver tumor was biopsied and it was mets, but it is gone.
    I know how you feel about how it seems like you are talking about someone else when you talk about it. I really wish you the best and want you to know that having stage iv is not an automatic death sentence. The treatments have come so far now that for most with stage iv bc, it is being treated more as a chronic illness than a terminal one.
    There are so many of us on this site now that are stage iv. Most have been able to continue working for years (probably easier if you like your job), and the treatments are hard if you get se, but mostly doable. I know I am amazed at where I am today, compared to 4 years ago when I was first diagnosed IV.
    I mainly remember being numb, scared, and in a lot of pain from the bone mets in my spine and tailbone.
    Please post any questions, or vent when you need to, and when they biopsy the lesion, it could still be a cyst or benign.
    Hugs,
    Carol
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    #6
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    Hi :) I came on CSN in 2010

    Hi :) I came on CSN in 2010 when I got dx with stage 2 bc. I was 34. This week I found out I have it again, due to a swollen lymph node on my clavicle that I had to have biopsied. I have scans and all that fun next week to find out if its BC, or a different primary. 

    Im scared too. Beyond. I just wanted to reach out and tell you you're not alone,  and as you've seen feom the other comments,  there's alot of hope.

    Xoxo,

    Hearher

  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
    #7
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    Heatherbelle said:

    Hi :) I came on CSN in 2010

    Hi :) I came on CSN in 2010 when I got dx with stage 2 bc. I was 34. This week I found out I have it again, due to a swollen lymph node on my clavicle that I had to have biopsied. I have scans and all that fun next week to find out if its BC, or a different primary. 

    Im scared too. Beyond. I just wanted to reach out and tell you you're not alone,  and as you've seen feom the other comments,  there's alot of hope.

    Xoxo,

    Hearher

    Wow

    Heather,

    I'm so sorry to read your news, but glad to see you posting. I sent you a PM.

    xo

    Victoria

  • Pixie Dust
    Pixie Dust Member Posts: 424 Member
    #8
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    Heatherbelle said:

    Hi :) I came on CSN in 2010

    Hi :) I came on CSN in 2010 when I got dx with stage 2 bc. I was 34. This week I found out I have it again, due to a swollen lymph node on my clavicle that I had to have biopsied. I have scans and all that fun next week to find out if its BC, or a different primary. 

    Im scared too. Beyond. I just wanted to reach out and tell you you're not alone,  and as you've seen feom the other comments,  there's alot of hope.

    Xoxo,

    Hearher

    Its OK to be scared

    Hearher, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. There are alot of new treatments out now that they can use for all cancers. Just wanted to reach out and tell you you're not alone and it is ok to be scared. My last chemo treatment was in May and the ONC said I am cured but I am high risk of it returning. Yes, I am also scared  and think about it every day and yes there is alot of hope with all the new meds. I hope everything goes well with your tests and keep us posted. My heart goes out to you and will be waiting to hear about your test. Hold your head up high and kick this beast where it belongs. Hugs, Pixie

  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
    #9
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    Pixie Dust said:

    Its OK to be scared

    Hearher, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. There are alot of new treatments out now that they can use for all cancers. Just wanted to reach out and tell you you're not alone and it is ok to be scared. My last chemo treatment was in May and the ONC said I am cured but I am high risk of it returning. Yes, I am also scared  and think about it every day and yes there is alot of hope with all the new meds. I hope everything goes well with your tests and keep us posted. My heart goes out to you and will be waiting to hear about your test. Hold your head up high and kick this beast where it belongs. Hugs, Pixie

    Comfortably Numb, I apologize

    I realized I wrote to Heatherbelle and not to you in your own post. I'd logged in, actually, to say hello, that I'm thinking about you, and sending hope your direction. I didn't mean to be so insensitive.

    This is scary stuff. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

    xo

     

    Victoria

  • Pixie Dust
    Pixie Dust Member Posts: 424 Member
    #10
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    COMFORTABLY NUMB TAKE 1 DAY AT A TIME

    COMFORTABLY NUMB,  do not ever think this cancer has got you. One thing you need  is support. You are going to fight this beast with all you got. The meds and rads they have and do now are completely different that they did 20yrs. ago. I know people on other websites (inspire.com) for stage 4 BC people only that have lived 25yrs. and still going strong. It is happening to alot of people. You are not alone with stage 4 BC. No one wants to have BC. Yes, I know that you are scared. Why would you not be !!. I am high risk of mine returning and I know when it does it will be stage 4. When it returns, and by the time they find it is usually stage 4. I know what you mean by being afraid going to sleep. I even dream in my sleep about having BC. Everything that you are feeling is normal. Talk to your ONC about you seeing someone to talk to such as a phystriatrist or phycologist. (spelled wrong). Go to inspire.com and find stage 4 breast cancer. The members their will give you great support and you will see many young ladies such as you on there. This website is great too. Hopefully soon you will be on your way starting your treatment and you will fill better after this. Stay strong and say to yourself you are not alone in this and keep fighting. I know it is hard to do but I think you are going to be ok if you do not give into this beast. Kick it in its $$$ and keep going strong. Let us all know how you are doing. Hugs going your way, Pixie Dust

  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    #11
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    Heatherbelle said:

    Hi :) I came on CSN in 2010

    Hi :) I came on CSN in 2010 when I got dx with stage 2 bc. I was 34. This week I found out I have it again, due to a swollen lymph node on my clavicle that I had to have biopsied. I have scans and all that fun next week to find out if its BC, or a different primary. 

    Im scared too. Beyond. I just wanted to reach out and tell you you're not alone,  and as you've seen feom the other comments,  there's alot of hope.

    Xoxo,

    Hearher

    Heather
    Sorry to hear that you are going thru this again, please let us know how you are doing! Good to hear from you, but wish ir was a happier bit of news.
    Hang in ther, and remember we are all here for you.
    Hugs,
    Carol
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #12
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    Pixie Dust said:

    COMFORTABLY NUMB TAKE 1 DAY AT A TIME

    COMFORTABLY NUMB,  do not ever think this cancer has got you. One thing you need  is support. You are going to fight this beast with all you got. The meds and rads they have and do now are completely different that they did 20yrs. ago. I know people on other websites (inspire.com) for stage 4 BC people only that have lived 25yrs. and still going strong. It is happening to alot of people. You are not alone with stage 4 BC. No one wants to have BC. Yes, I know that you are scared. Why would you not be !!. I am high risk of mine returning and I know when it does it will be stage 4. When it returns, and by the time they find it is usually stage 4. I know what you mean by being afraid going to sleep. I even dream in my sleep about having BC. Everything that you are feeling is normal. Talk to your ONC about you seeing someone to talk to such as a phystriatrist or phycologist. (spelled wrong). Go to inspire.com and find stage 4 breast cancer. The members their will give you great support and you will see many young ladies such as you on there. This website is great too. Hopefully soon you will be on your way starting your treatment and you will fill better after this. Stay strong and say to yourself you are not alone in this and keep fighting. I know it is hard to do but I think you are going to be ok if you do not give into this beast. Kick it in its $$$ and keep going strong. Let us all know how you are doing. Hugs going your way, Pixie Dust

    Comforably Numb --

    I am truly so sorry -   wish I had the words to send you comfort, and HOPE. 

    Please know that we are here for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Bounce idea, questions, concern here -- or if you want to scream we are 'HERE' for you.

    Please post when possible - as so many Sisters in PINK has walked this path, and will be here to guide you along your journey.

    Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

    Vicki Sam

     

  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    #13
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    I am so very sorry to hear

    I am so very sorry to hear your news and it sucks that you are so young.  I had liver mets in early 2013.  If I can help in any way, I am here.  Sending hugs and positive healing thoughts. 

  • ComfortablyNumb
    ComfortablyNumb Member Posts: 45
    #14
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    Thank you

    Thank you all for your kind words and support. It means a lot to me to know that there are other people going through the same thing.

     

    I was back at the oncologist today to get more information (I sort of topped out at some point during that first visit) and figure out what we're gonna do next. 

     

    I've decided that I am not okay with this diagnosis and am gonna fight my *** off to stick around long enough to find a cure for this thing. 

     

    Waiting for the call to schedule the biospy. Should be starting chemo in a few weeks...until then, I think i'm gonna go on vacation lol

     

    Kat

  • GlowMore
    GlowMore Member Posts: 789 Member
    #15
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    ComfortablyNumb said:

    Thank you

    Thank you all for your kind words and support. It means a lot to me to know that there are other people going through the same thing.

     

    I was back at the oncologist today to get more information (I sort of topped out at some point during that first visit) and figure out what we're gonna do next. 

     

    I've decided that I am not okay with this diagnosis and am gonna fight my *** off to stick around long enough to find a cure for this thing. 

     

    Waiting for the call to schedule the biospy. Should be starting chemo in a few weeks...until then, I think i'm gonna go on vacation lol

     

    Kat

    Hey Kat

    It's been over ten days now so just cking in to see how you are doing.  Let us know how you are when you get back on here.   Many of us only ck in every other week and some are on every day....but we ALL know how you are feeling and we ALL send you support and prayers. 

  • ComfortablyNumb
    ComfortablyNumb Member Posts: 45
    #16
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    GlowMore said:

    Hey Kat

    It's been over ten days now so just cking in to see how you are doing.  Let us know how you are when you get back on here.   Many of us only ck in every other week and some are on every day....but we ALL know how you are feeling and we ALL send you support and prayers. 

    Thanks :)

    Thanks for checking in :)

     

    I just got home yesterday from a much needed vacation. Waiting to hear from the hospital tomorrow when my biospy will be..meanwhile my onc wants to see me week after next to start chemo. Fingers crossed I can get this biospy done before then! I'm also having my file sent over to another doctor for a second opinion...I trust my doctor but my father in law works with someone who's wife is a highly rated onco in the city and has said she will look at my records, so I figure there's no harm in doing it. 

     

     

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #17
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    Checking back in to see how

    Checking back in to see how things are going?

     

    Denise

  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #18
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    disneyfan2008 said:

    Checking back in to see how

    Checking back in to see how things are going?

     

    Denise

    Happy to see that you are back from

    a much needed vacation  --  Please update us when possible.

     

    We are HERE for you.

    Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

    Vicki Sam

  • ComfortablyNumb
    ComfortablyNumb Member Posts: 45
    #19
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    I go in for my biopsy

    I go in for my biopsy tomorrow at 7:30am, and i'm a little worried because I just read about the procedure and it requires you to lie on your right side afterwards for 4 hours, and I just had my port put in on that side on friday and i'm not able to lie on that side :-/

     

    I'm scheduled to start chemo this Wednesday.

     

  • Annette 11
    Annette 11 Member Posts: 380
    #20
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    Heatherbelle said:

    Hi :) I came on CSN in 2010

    Hi :) I came on CSN in 2010 when I got dx with stage 2 bc. I was 34. This week I found out I have it again, due to a swollen lymph node on my clavicle that I had to have biopsied. I have scans and all that fun next week to find out if its BC, or a different primary. 

    Im scared too. Beyond. I just wanted to reach out and tell you you're not alone,  and as you've seen feom the other comments,  there's alot of hope.

    Xoxo,

    Hearher

    HEATHERBELLE

    HI HEATHER. I AM SO SORRY YOU ARE GOING THRU THIS AGAIN. I KNOW YOU WILL FIGHT THIS ONCE AGAIN WITH ALL THAT YOU HAVE! I WAS THERE WITH YOU...ALSO GOING THRU BC IT IN 2010. I REMEMBER YOU WERE A STRONG WOMAN AND HELPED ME AND MANY OTHER LADIES. I DON'T POST OFTEN NOWADAYS BUT I DO COME IN TO READ THE POSTS FROM TIME TO TIME. MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND ALL OF OUR PINK SISTERS.

    LOVE,

    ANNETTE

  • Josie21
    Josie21 Member Posts: 382 Member
    #21
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    ComfortablyNumb said:

    I go in for my biopsy

    I go in for my biopsy tomorrow at 7:30am, and i'm a little worried because I just read about the procedure and it requires you to lie on your right side afterwards for 4 hours, and I just had my port put in on that side on friday and i'm not able to lie on that side :-/

     

    I'm scheduled to start chemo this Wednesday.

     

    Biopsy

    How are you?  I hope your biopsy went smoothly today and you are feeling well.  

    Hugs,

    Ginny

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