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Began the day at a luxury hotel and now in the ER :) - update at end of thread

Kathleen808's picture
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Up and down and up and fricken down. Damn this disease!! Dick has been having a very difficult time recently. We are trying to find some good time in each day but he is dealing with pain and side effects on a regular basis. Chemo days and the day after are obviously hard days and then for the next 12 days until the next chemo it is up and down. Whenever he is down with pain and/or side effects it seems like this is it, the beginning of the end. Then, he rebounds and like we did on Monday we get out on our boards together and enjoy the ocean. We soooooo appreciate these little pockets of good times and Dick constantly amazes me. I swear he is so incredibly strong physically and mentally. I tell him he doesn't have to be that strong if he doesn't feel like it.

Well his wonderful step brother paid for us to take 2 nights away from home and the care of our daughter with special needs in a luxury hotel in Waikiki. It is incredibly nice. Gorgeous view of Diamond Head and the ocean. When we checked in yesterday he was in pain. We got that under control and enjoyed a great evening of room service and fabulous views. This morning I went to yoga on the terrace and then we both went stand up paddling and Dick even caught two waves. After we each took long relaxing baths and then had lunch. I went for a massage and by the time I got back Dick was in level 7 pain. :( I packed small bags, left the rest of our things in the luxury hotel room and drove to the ER. We think it has something to do with his right kidney. On the drive here I had to pull over so he could throw up. We have been in the ER for almost 2 hours. No doc yet but at least he has had some pain meds. So that's this f''n disease. Mixed feelings between being grateful that we had any time at all in a luxury hotel and then anger at being in the ER and my incredible husband being in pain.

OK, rant over.


herdizziness's picture
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I've been in th ER six times since mid May and screwed up everything we've had planned for this summer, so I understand the frustration, I don't know how many times these past two months whether I'm going to make it past summer, then my body turns around and behaves for a little bit.  I can't even get on chemo yet, because of my actual scheduled surgery when I had my spleen removed, then back in freaking ER a week later.

I hate this disease, and I hate that you two had a wonderful couple of days planned and it raises it's ugly head and interferes again.  Just know I am thinking of you both and hope it's something easy to fix this time.  My heart goes out to you both.

Winter Marie

Posts: 2215
Joined: Oct 2011

Its heartbreaking reading your post. It so makes me think about all of the times i made my wife worry or when my side effects and or pain interrupted things for us. I think it is every bit as hard on the caregiver as it is on the patient.

Momof2plusteentwins's picture
Posts: 507
Joined: May 2012

I hope you are out of ER and pain is gone.  It's so hard to plan anything with treatments.  Even on good days cancer never leaves the mind.  I feel like its a life sentence!

Lovekitties's picture
Posts: 3270
Joined: Jan 2010

I am so sorry to hear that Dick is having such a hard time.  Pain seems to be a recurring theme here recently with our long term survivors.

I can only add my prayers that somehow the docs will find a way to get the pain under control, and that you both have more good days than bad.

My love to you both.

Marie who loves kitties 


impactzone's picture
Posts: 505
Joined: Aug 2006

So sorry to read this. You have my prayers and I totally get how frustrating this disease is.



TheLadySkye's picture
Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2013

Sending love and prayers to both of you.

fatbob2010's picture
Posts: 467
Joined: May 2012

Dear Kathleen,

This disease is such a roller coaster...emotionally and physically putting us through the wringer, in some cases, daily.

Your Dear Husband sounds so strong and interested in living life to the bst possible standard.  

Prayers of comfort and pain relief, both emotional and physical, streaming your way.



Posts: 484
Joined: Apr 2013

I sometimes feel the same way as the wife of a cancer patient.  I'm sorry your nice getaway was interrupted.  It is hard to plan anything.  While my husband recently had a 4 week break from chemo, we got away for 6 days and had a great time since he was feeling pretty good, but the belly pains started up again 3 weeks ago and have not let up. 

I'm hoping he's getting some relief and you can get back into a routine you both are comfortable with.  It seems like "There's always something" lurking or happening.

I, too, am very angry at the hospital my husband was in for 17 days in January who basically wrote him off.  We switched to a much better cancer center with an awesome oncology hospital attached.  He was there for 6 days in May and it was such a wonderful experience if there can be one in a hospital.  It helps us as caregivers to know people are really taking care of our spouses, it gave me peace of mind so I could leave at night to get some sleep.  Everyone says we have to take care of ourselves, which is usually easier said than done.  I'm glad you're able to get some alone time which I'm sure rejuvenates you.

Let us know how your husband is doing, hopefully better by now.


alexinlv's picture
Posts: 194
Joined: Jul 2010

Oh my, Kathleen! I am so sad to hear this.   Damn it!! You both are in my thoughts and prayers! XO

Kathleen808's picture
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Hi and thank you so much for the warm replies. You are all wonderful!! It helps to know that there are people out there who get it.  Dick's pain began to subside around midnight.  They had tried to get an NG tube down him but could not.  This has been hard in the past.  He threw up quite a bit when they were trying.  They think he has a urinary tract infection and/or partial bowel obstruction.  He has not had any pain meds since last night at 11pm and it is now 8:30am.  They are going to give him an xray and if that looks good, they will let him begin to have liquid.  It looks like they will keep him here tonight and then hopefully, if things keep getting better, he will be home tomorrow, July 4th.  btw, we did not get settled into a room until 4am!!!  That was about 12 hours from the time we arrived. 
The good news is I spoke to the hotel manager and explained that we did not sleep in the hotel last night but at the hospital.  He said no problem refunding our money for last night.  I will go to the hotel in a bit and grab our stuff including our boards and then bring them home.   Not sure of plans for me for tonight as our daughter needs special care.  I think if Dick is stable I will sleep at home.  He really hates being at the hospital alone but I think I need to be at home.


Helen321's picture
Posts: 1346
Joined: May 2012

Rant away, freaking cancer! 

Kathleen808's picture
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Happy 4th of July!

Well things have improved. Dick was put on liquids yesterday and things went well.  Today, he is on low fiber solids and so far, so good.  They have now ruled out uti and think it was a partial blockage.  The doc said the pears and roll Dick ate about 45 minutes before the pain started were probably the problem.  The pears were still a bit hard.  Dick is walking around and feeling more comfortable.  I was able to go to the hospital for about 4 hours this morning and made it back into our neighborhood before it gets completely crazy from the fireworks they shoot off over our beach.  I am home hunkered down with our dogs and daughter.  Our daughter has a very difficult time with fireworks and the noise can trigger seizures.  The dogs, they hate the fireworks too.  So if you are a praying type or good luck  type or hold in the light type, we'll take it for all of us. 



Trubrit's picture
Posts: 3817
Joined: Jan 2013

I am so happy to hear that Dick is feeling better. I hope that he continues to improve so that he can come back home. 

I am sorry to hear about your daughter, and hope that she doesn't have any problems with tonights firework celebrations. 

You continue to be in my prayers and thoughs. 


Posts: 1019
Joined: Aug 2013

So glad the hubby is feeling better. This disease just sucks!

I hope all went well with the fireworks by you. We live in the boonies and it's usually very quiet but last night it was pretty noisy.

I'll be thinking of Dick.

Take care of yourself, too.


annalexandria's picture
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

and you guys can get back to enjoying the great outdoors!

I wanted to mention something that my daughter's naturopath told her about eating in a way that can improve digestive issues.

She said that because fruit digests at a very different rate than other foods that it's best to eat it separately from anything else (she suggested waiting about an hour after eating carbs, protein, etc before eating fruit).  I don't know for sure if this would apply to crc patients with blockages, but just wanted to pass it along in case it helped.  It has made a difference for my daughter, although she has different issues.

Yolllmbs's picture
Posts: 361
Joined: May 2014

It seems like it's even tougher on the caregivers. So many reasons to cure cancer and make the quality of life good. Hope things went well with your daughter.  I'm glad your husband is better

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 824
Joined: May 2011

Oh, Kathleen, my heart hurt when I read your post. I am glad that Dick is feeling better.  You have so much to juggle. Hope you can somehow arrange another getaway....you deserve it more than I can imagine!



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