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stage 4

tjhay1's picture
Posts: 18
Joined: May 2014

well i got my staging on friday and needless to say Wendy and i walked out in a bit of a daze. We both knew it was coming, but wow to hear it out loud was really different then i expected. doctor still says that remission can happen and that she thinks it will be easy to achive. really, really you tell me that after having told me the mets to the bone has been there since 2008, and know one saw it with all the scans. sorry a little pissed off tonight, had to tell my 72 year old mother that i am stage 4 and that i am not going to die anytime soon. and damn it i am not, its just the whole dang thing of it, sure before they got the pain undercontrol i would of had to say yes i am going to, but now not at all. i dont think i have ever been so irritated in my life, all those tests and they missed it, thats right missed it, my now dr can see it in pass scans, but the others had missed it, alright i am going to go before i upset myself

lynn1950's picture
Posts: 2574
Joined: Jun 2008

Wow, it was there since 2008.  That's going to be hard to forgive.  Sending you and Wendy my love. Keep fighting.  Lynn


New Flower
Posts: 4299
Joined: Aug 2009

it is very hard to accept, come to terms, spell it out  and move on.

I could not tell my 76-old mother, I do not think she could sustain my diagnosis of "metastatic breast cancer". when I read on my chart those three words cannot believe they are about me.

It is ok to be angree, vent rant and sream. Cancer is sucks, mBC.......

Sending you positive energy, stay strong you can do it

1surfermom's picture
Posts: 361
Joined: Mar 2009

Oh Tj this is just awful. I think you have every right and  reason to be angry. Go ahead scream, swear and punch a pillow. I know that you are strong and that you have the support of all of us. Remember what our dear Chen used to say about  being  stronger than angry at something. Wishing you peace . Love Surf

Christmas Girl's picture
Christmas Girl
Posts: 3691
Joined: Apr 2009

Awww, hon... :-(

Agree - even when we know, it's different to hear the words spoken aloud. Devastating.

Am going to put all my faith & trust into your current doctor, believe (not just hope, believe) that remission is in your near future. And that you'll stay there for a very, very, very long time to come.

Recalling another of Chen's regular sayings: this is our safe place to land. As you already well know. You need to vent, rant, rave - throw a spectacular trantrum, TJ-style? This is where you do it.

With much love for you, and WWW... Susan xoxoxo

CypressCynthia's picture
Posts: 4014
Joined: Oct 2009

Don't give up!  I had bone mets symptoms (3-4 broken right ribs) show up in 2005.  despite PET scans, bone scans, etc., nothing was definitive.  In fact, during that time, I saw 3 pulmonologists who kept ordering CT's watching a spot in the right lung. 

Finally in 2009, a trip to the ER and another CT which recommended another bone scan.  Bone scan this time FINALLY said bone mets.  I had a bone biopsy April 2009 to confirm that, yes it was the beast and I was now Stage 4.  I saw another (4th) pulmnologist who told me that I probably had lung mets too, but it was small and distal and they would be unable to biopsy that area.

Anyway, with just radiation, hormone therapy and bisphosphonates, the bones and lung have been in remission since 2010. 

I was upset that they missed it too, but the radiologist who diagnosed it correctly said they did not miss it.  It is just sometimes difficult to diagnose until enough time goes by and they can see that the lesion (area) has not healed properly.  According to him, when the fractures were fresh, it was difficult because they do show up but you couldn't tell if that was because they were healing or cancer.  I am no expert but I did know I had a lot of pain between 2005-2009.

I did have liver mets last year which is now also in remission.  Lung and bones are beat up but have remained in remission for 5 years.  Sending healing thoughts and hugs!!!!

PS If I can help it, I am not dying anytime soon either!!!!  Kick some cancer butt!!!!


camul's picture
Posts: 2541
Joined: Dec 2010

I just read your bio and laughed. Not a haha laugh but a deja vu laugh. I went thru the same. Then came the what if they had taken me seriously, they would have found it sooner.
But then I realized I was beating myself up. I saw my onco in Nov 2009, had 3 major surgeries for tumors btwn june and Nov 2009. All path came back atypical not yet cancer. Saw onco in May 2010. Blood and marker were clean.
Sept 2010, I lit up on pet scan like a christmas tree. Had made trip to ER in Aug for pain in ribs, they couldnt see anthing on ct scan. N3 Weeks later I went to my onco, he could see it in same ct scan!
He gave me 3-6 mo almost 4 years ago.
If possible, use the energy that anger is taking up on healing your body!
I wish you and Windy the best.

Posts: 6563
Joined: Oct 2010




VickiSam's picture
Posts: 9080
Joined: Aug 2009

InnocentHow are things going -- ?   We are thinking about you and circling the wagons - Prayers and positive thoughts coming your way.

Please update us when possible.

Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure

Vicki Sam



Posts: 579
Joined: Dec 2010

Goodness what can I say.  Did they give ANY explanation or apology?  I mean who was reading the test results?  Under trained!  Are there others in unknown danger?  So sorry my heart goes out to you.

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