Lost my dad to CLL and still missing him

Hi all I lost my dad to Chronic Lymphotic or Lymphatic (sorry don't know spelling) Lukemia in 2011 and I still miss him terribly and feel stuck sometimes.  The struggle with him being ill and the treatments really have gotten to me I am still upset about what he went through and I wasn't able to talk to him much before he died because he was losing his voice. I can't seem to look at his picture without crying and I feel down sometimes because I wonder why I survived my battle cancer and he lost his.  We were really close and he'll always mean a lot to me I have accepted that he's gone but I still struggle with my emotions- my grief.  I am glad this is a place where we can talk about our loved ones and support one another.  For those who have also lost someone to cancer I am here for you and I think that we will always miss those we lose and that things take time when we want to heal.  I just can't seem to get there but I'm hopeful. 


  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633

    Yes, I agree that we will always miss our loved ones. They are a part of us and helped make us the people we are today. Each loss is still in our hearts and memories. My grandfather died almost 60 years ago. I still remember him, and yes, I still miss him. My husband died about four and a half years ago noW. Sometimes I am still overcome with grief. I have gone on with my life. I have grown stronger. His life and death brought changes to my life and to me. We move forward but remember our past with wonderful people who are no longer with us. We both mourn them and celebrate them. Take care, Fay