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Rituxan Maintenance #7

Rocquie's picture
Rocquie
Posts: 857
Joined: Mar 2013

You would think I could take this all in stride by now. I am doing well. I feel good. Strangers around me would never know. Those who do know think it is all over, that it doesn't matter any more. My hair is back. I am walking just fine. My appetite is great. My blood counts are normal again. I feel so blessed and happy. 

But it is not over. Monday, I have to go to see my Cancer Doctor. I will have blood drawn and he will give me a physical exam. Then I will receive an infusion of potent medicine which will make me feel bad for a few days but will keep me free from my disease. 

The fear is always there. 

 

jimwins's picture
jimwins
Posts: 2111
Joined: Aug 2011

Hi Rocquie.  I understand.  It's okay to be afraid - just know you're not alone.  Good luck on Monday!

Do you think this little fella is on prednisone or lives in a state where marijuana is legal?

Hugs

 

 

Cute Puppy Wants A Cupcake

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3184
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Rocquie,

  I know exactly how you feel. All through the 2 years of my Maint Rituxan I drove myself to get my infusion and nobody thought anything of it. I'd feel crumby for a week, but still did my daily chores with no complaining, so everyone just thought all was good. Sometimes I'd think..."man...they just don't get it" but then I'd go about life as usual. Well...everyone was blindsided when this crap came back in 3 places and suddenly we were thrown back to the scary part of what this cancer can do. I think all of my family "get's it" a little better now...at least I hope they do. Hang in there and just take it one day at a time. Remember...WE "get it" and are always here for you.

Best wishes...Sue 

anliperez915's picture
anliperez915
Posts: 772
Joined: Sep 2011

I understand what you're going through! People always tell me the same thing, you look great! Well yeah that's because I try and work on my appearance! But they don't know how I feel or sometimes the pain I get in parts of my body! Which I don't even know what's causing it from all the damn medicine that I have to take! People just don't get it unless they have been through something similar. You can always count on us because we get it!!! We understand the fear that is always there even if you try to not think about it. Take care sweety sending you positive thoughts! (((Hugs)))

Sincerely,
Liz

illead's picture
illead
Posts: 875
Joined: Aug 2012

Hi Roquie.

     I hope your weekend wasn't too stressful.  I think part of the reason for your anxiety is that recently there have been a lot of difficult things going on with some in the group.  Some of them were totally unexpected, so maybe that is creating some extra anxiety.  Bill sees the doc tomorrow also.  His first since starting his $400/day drug habit Money Mouth.  I know things will go well for both of you.  I know we all think the world of you and we hope for a good day. 

Hang in there, Becky

jimwins's picture
jimwins
Posts: 2111
Joined: Aug 2011

Remember that old commercial where "This is your brain on drugs" where they fry the egg ?  That came to mind when you mentioned Bill's $400 a day drug habit and made me smile.  Of course, I can think of a similar one for chemo.  "This is your brain on chemo" where they scramble an egg or perhaps make meringue ;).  

Tell Bill good luck tomorrow!  I'm also glad to see Max posting again.  I know we're not "The Waltons" but we are a family of sorts :).  

Hugs 

Rocquie's picture
Rocquie
Posts: 857
Joined: Mar 2013

Well, my Rituxan maintenance #7 is behind me. Everything went well, of course. My blood counts are good and my Doctor states that I have "very encouraging clinical evidence".  Port flush in 4 weeks and another Rituxan infusion in 8 weeks. 

Thank you Jim, Sue, Liz, and Becky, as always, for your nurturing support. I appreciate it more than you can know. And Becky, you are right about the happenings here. I was very hurt by some of that and am trying hard to get past it. 

Best,

Rocquie

 

illead's picture
illead
Posts: 875
Joined: Aug 2012

....you sailed through another infusion.  I know the last one can't come soon enough.  I know what you are talking about and I was very upset about what I knew you must have gone through with that.  I am sorry you had to go through it.  It's good to have you posting more and also Max.  I missed you both.  Hey Jim I always wondered if those commercials helped, after all the brains that needed them were already fried Laughing

Love you guys, Becky

tall floridian's picture
tall floridian
Posts: 95
Joined: Dec 2011

Rocquie - I can relate to you very well, having to take Retuxan Maintenance even though I felt well and had to experience the after effects days after. From the first day my oncologist told me I had lymphoma I placed it all in God's hands and took it one day at a time knowing that He was in control of my life and health. Today I am two years in remission thank God,able to watch my 3 year old granddaughter and now a new 4 week old granddaughter grow up before my eyes. My faith has brought me through some very tough times- I can remember lying in my hospital bed wondering if I would ever make it out of the hospital alive but still trusting God knowing that He was watching over me. Having that faith gave me strength and purpose and took away any fear I might have. May God see you through your health journey as well - praying for you and everyone in our lymphoma family on this site. Hugs-Steve

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