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My Fault?

poopergirl14052's picture
Posts: 1185
Joined: Nov 2010

does anyone blame them selves they got cancer....I have learned so much AFTER I got cancer...where was this info before??  I always had my screenings and exams..that is why we need to educate women to listen to their bodies. I know a lot of woman were misdiagnosed and cancer spread. I did blame myself for a long time...should have lost weight..ate better etc..yet many ladies I know who lived healthy still ended up with cancer. There will always be challanges..but bring it on....stay strong.....Val 


Alexandra's picture
Posts: 1311
Joined: Jul 2012

I had no idea what causes ovarian cancer or what the warning signs were. I am not proud to admit it now, but I asked the GYN at the ER where I was first diagnosed if it could have been caused by using hormonal IUD (Mirena), by multiple sex partners / smoking / drinking / recreational drugs. He smiled and said none of the above, you party girl.

2 months later I was kind of relieved to discover that cancer was hereditary (BRCA1+) passed down from my father's side. At least I didn't have to blame my environment or lifestyle. Can't blame daddy either, he is diseased and had no idea about genetic mutations when he was alive. All I could do was find my long-lost half sister in Russia and warn her about the risk, which I did the day before my hysterectomy.

Susan P's picture
Susan P
Posts: 103
Joined: Sep 2013

I,too have wondered if I contributed to my OvCa always overweight to Obese 5'7"& 225 lbss smoked , drank , partied horrid eating& snacking habits

after reading "anti Cancer & foods that fight cancer.I have to believe- I did put myself at risk- I certainly was not in optimal health for having a great immune system.- in short I was hard on my body plus lots of stress diabling stroke & brain damage in 2002 husbands affair in 1999.


I have no family history of female cancers.


I did not really know or believe at the time how imporetant all theses coponents are to health - but I do now


My last CT showed no evide nce of disease. so now I am trying to eat right - I quit smoking in 2002  lost 40+ lbs due to OVCa



knowing what I know now I am trying to do better* eat an anti inflamatory diet *drink green tea*avoid as much sugar as possible


I can't turn back the clock 
I will never know what factors caused the ov ca & I believe there is just " the luck of the draw" sometimes.

Be interesting to see how many of us were not kind to our bodies



you can't change whathas happened & no amount of worry will change or prevent things


Susan P from Al;berta Canada & TX & WY


lovesanimals's picture
Posts: 1364
Joined: Sep 2011

I never thought it was my fault that I got ovarian cancer.  Like Susan, I felt it was the "luck of the draw" and due to circumstances out of my control.  Like many women, I wish though that I had gone to the doctor sooner.  For several months, I was experiencing off and on again pelvic pain that I chalked up to irritable bowel, uterine fibroids or menstrual cramps.  I thank my lucky stars that when I finally when in to see the doctor (actually physican's assistant) for unusual abdominal bloating, she immediately instructed me to get an ultrasound.  That was the beginning of my journey.  Ironically, I knew about the symptoms before being diagnosed but never once thought that it could hit me, probably because none of my relatives had been diagnosed.  Now I talk about my experience, and especially my symptoms, to anyone who wants to hear about it. 


Mwee's picture
Posts: 1341
Joined: Nov 2009

Hi Val,

I don't blame myself either, BUT I often wish I knew then what I know now. Oh to have had my ovaries removed before the cancer formed. I had no history of OVCA in my family and am BRAC negative, so that option was never suggested. I have a girlfriend whose mother died from OVCA and she elected to have her ovaries removed. Hope you're doing well, dear Val!

                                                 ((((HUGS))))   Maria

debrajo's picture
Posts: 1095
Joined: Sep 2011

But not for the reason you might think!{I'm lurking again!} I had a "highly regaurded"doctor tell me ALL female cancers are cause by being too fat, especially Ovarian.  Hey Pssssst, Doctor....I DON"T HAVE OVARIAN cancer!  I have uterine cancer.!! A slight smile and shoulder shrug from him and "It's all the same" he says!  Idiot..I left!  I blame myself for general bad health decisions, putting everyone  elses' needs/wants   before simple health checkups, and for letting MEN, i.e. doctors tell me over an  8 year period that my gyno problems{serious enough to have to see a Hemeotologist } were all in my head.  That MILLIONS of women go through menepause without  surgery/meds.  In other words, a pat on the head, there, there, dear, and sit down and shut up!  I blame myself for being stupid, and I'm STILL mad...at me!  Debral

Mwee's picture
Posts: 1341
Joined: Nov 2009

I've been thin my whole life, BRAC negative and still got OVCA! My ONC says that cancer is either genetic, environmental or just plain bad luck and if there was such a simple answer as to who was more likely to get OVCA/Uterine cancer, then it could be easier to prevent and treat. What an idiot!

                                                                                      ((((HUGS))))   Maria


Chemo_Princess's picture
Posts: 105
Joined: Aug 2009

I don't think it's your fault that you got cancer.  I too have known very healthy women who ended up with late stage OVCA.

I believe if you are going to get it there is nothing you can do.  Just deal with it when it shows up.

It sucks, but I really do believe God never gives us more than we can handle.


Cafewoman53's picture
Posts: 737
Joined: Jul 2010

But after being on this and other boards and realizing how many super healthy women have developed this cancer I let myself off the hook .

Just like the stock answer to back pain is to lose weight well that does not address the fact that I was not overweight when I first had back problems.

I ve also seen many women who have drastically changed their diet in hopes of controlling this disease pass away. Neither me or my doctor believe this will save me so I am going to enjoy the foods I like both the healthy and unhealthy.



               Love !


newhopechurchli's picture
Posts: 127
Joined: Oct 2008

I drove myself crazy when first diagnosed trying to figure out if there was something I could have done to bring this cancer on.  I eventually came to the conclusion that if I was guilty of anything.....it was taking my time getting to a good dr.  I was seeing a nurse practitioner at my doctors office.  She was not thorough and attributed all of my symptoms to pre-menopause.  Meanwhile I was barely 40 when symptoms started and she never did simple testing.  Putting me on birth control pills to stop bleeding was a major mistake!!!!  Long story long...lol....I eventually got over feeling that way.  I mean..who really believes that they have a deadly disease!  I was in denial for a long time.  Six years later I still can't believe it happened :(. I wish everyone well, health and prosperity to you all. XOXO


kikz's picture
Posts: 1346
Joined: Jun 2010

I ever blamed myself but figured being overweight my whole life probably played a part.  But I was in excellent health.  My primary called me one of her healthiest patients.  The only time my weight was mentioned was by my gym/onc/surgeon who said at our first meeting; we'll deal with your weight later.  He's never mentioned it again.


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