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Scanxiety. Typical I guess.

todd121's picture
Posts: 1290
Joined: Dec 2012

Next Wednesday I go in for my full scans. It's the one year date for the Everest trial I'm on. So I take my last dose of Affinitor on Tuesday the 18th. Hard to believe a year has gone by already.

I'm really anxious. I wanted to put together a party to celebrate finishing 1 year of this drug trial, but I didn't do it. I have to be honest and say I was afraid I'd put it together and they'd find something on my scans on the 19th. I just couldn't bring myself to schedule the party. Maybe I'm superstitious and thought I might jinx it? I don't really think that way, but I sort of think that way somewhere in my childish mind back there. Lol.

My scans and dr. appointment are all finished about 2pm on Wednesday. I'm even having trouble figuring out if I want to make plans later that day, just in case. Or if I should go to the appointment by myself or bring someone along...

I can't have the contrast because my creatinine is too high (1.6). The next worry is they'll miss something and by the time they see it it will be large or many of them...

Funny how all my health issues get run through my cancer filter now. I've had a sinus infection for 3 months that won't seem to heal even after 2 rounds of antibiotics and I've had this bleeding sore in my nose also for 3-4 months. I finally scheduled an appointment with an ENT for later this month. I suppose if I think about it, it seems unusual to have RCC spread to the inside of the nose, but then getting RCC in the first place wasn't a very common thing to have happen either and yet I got sideswiped by that 15 months ago. I'm good at conjuring up stuff to worry about these days.

So I'll be grateful for where I am and what I know today. I'm really doing pretty well and the weather is beautiful outside. I just had my house painted and a new fence put up at home. Looks wonderful. I have one son that's talking to me (wanting all kinds of help, but I'm glad I'm here and can oblige) and another that's doing just great but doesn't want to talk to me right now and that's all terrific. My little dog is glad to see me when I come home and take her for a walk and feed her. Plenty to be grateful for today.


Posts: 461
Joined: Dec 2013

Todd: wishing you good test results; reading your post and feeling like I do about my husband's upcoming scans, it occurred to me that for most, the diagnosis comes as an unexpected shock.

Just recalling those early days followed by a summer of hospitals and treatments gives me anxiety and I imagine it is somewhat like post traumatic stress.

When I went through breast cancer 22 years ago, the diagnosis was awful but not a shocking surprise. So my fear and anxiety was much less than I am experiencing now.

Enjoy the weather; yes, CA may have a drought but selfishly, I am loving this weather.


Jojo61's picture
Posts: 1285
Joined: Oct 2013

Here's an idea....plan a party AFTER the results. I am kind of a party girl myself, but I know your friends and family will love to celebrate with you!




GSRon's picture
Posts: 1306
Joined: Jan 2013

Did you say potty..??  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25Eh9ZuAPTA  Cool

Ron - running for cover.. again...

Djinnie's picture
Posts: 947
Joined: Apr 2013

Hi Todd, Unfortunately for us Scan time will always be a time of uncertainty!  I hope all goes well, and you will be out partying this time next week! Spontanious parties can be much more fun anyway! I will be thinking of you!


Djinnie x

Posts: 85
Joined: Aug 2012

Like the Oscars there is great tension until they open the envelope.   Can take 1-2 weeks after scan to get results.  Never really goes away but the trick is to make yourself presume that all is well and stable until such time as you are ever told otherwise and just proceed on the assumption that you will NOT be told otherwise.  It sounds easier than it really is.  Try renting exciting or romantic movies for the week of waiting.

todd121's picture
Posts: 1290
Joined: Dec 2012

One of the things I love about this place is how quickly test results are posted to my chart. I get blood work at 8am, and the results are usually on my chart within 1 hour. My CT scan was about 9:30am, and when I saw the doctor at 1:20pm, he already had the result. All the stuff is automated/digital and done immediately. I'm so grateful for that. When I was at UCI, it was often days for the result to get where it needed to be. In fact, I could get it faster by going to the imaging department and getting a copy and hand carrying to my doctor in the other building.

Waiting is not easy. I agree.

But even after having the scan results, there's the waiting for the next one. I'm embarrassed to admit I start thinking about the next one almost immediately. But I've decided to stop that. :)


cran1's picture
Posts: 139
Joined: Mar 2013

Gl on your scans tomorrow Todd.

todd121's picture
Posts: 1290
Joined: Dec 2012

So good to see you here. I haven't seen you post in awhile. Or is it that I haven't been keeping up? I tend to get behind.


NewDay's picture
Posts: 267
Joined: May 2012

So Todd,  you got your great scan results, so did you throw that party?  Give yourself I chance to celebrate before you start worrying about the next ones.


todd121's picture
Posts: 1290
Joined: Dec 2012

I've been too busy to party! :)

My son moved into his first house on Friday and I spent the day helping him. And the next day helped him do some repairs. So, well, you could say that's the way I party. I had a good time.



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