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Chuckles0504 Update RIP to my beloved husband

Posts: 20
Joined: Dec 2012

Been on this forum since 2012, have not posted that often.  I think the last time I posted my husband had a NED PET scan and all look great.  This disease can take an absolute turn for the worst so quickly.  Since that  PET scan in May, my husband had complained repeatedly  and voiced to his docs that he had pain in  both his chin and his neck.  Doctors just blew it off as "radiation effects".  Finally after pleading with docs there was something wrong, they finally agreed to do another PET scan.   The results were that the cancer was back (in the chin and his neck, wrapped around his cartoid artery.)  Doc immediately put him into Palliative at the Cleveland Clinic.  He died within 10 days.

I am having a hard time handling this.  Chuck wondered if the doctors would have listened regarding the pain he was having, if maybe this would have been caught in time.  

Now, as if I haven't been through enough, his company is saying that the life insurance company will not pay out because he wasn't "actively" at work when he died.  Without the life insurance, I will lose everything else, which is monetary and doesn't ever compare to the loss of him, but still it is all I have to go on.

I am at the lowest low and don't know where to turn.






Posts: 760
Joined: Apr 2012

So sorry to hear about your husband.  I can only image how hard this has been on you.  As far as his life insurance you may have to get a lawyer.  I have never heard that you had to be actively at work to get your husband's life insurance from his company.  

Wishing you peace and comfort -- Sharon

CivilMatt's picture
Posts: 4317
Joined: May 2012


I am sorry for your loss, this cancer is never fair, it is insidious.  I hope that the insurance issues are solved in your favor.

My most heartfelt condolences.


KB56's picture
Posts: 312
Joined: Apr 2013

Chuckles0504, I am really sorry to hear about your husband and I hope you can find some comfort in your memories of better times.    

I have never heard you have to be actively working to collect on a life insurance policy from an employer.   As long as someone was paying the premiums I would think they would have to pay out.   I think you may need to contact a lawyer to help you sort through the issues being claimed by the company. 

do you have a good friend or someone you can talk to about all you're feeling?  I think to feel the way you are feeling now is normal as you have been through an awful lot in a very short time. I think anyone  would be low given what you've been through.  any family member or good friend you can lean on for support?

I'll be thinking of you and I know you will have better days ahead.




jim and i's picture
jim and i
Posts: 1788
Joined: May 2011

So sorry to hear of your loss. I would contact a lawyer for advice on the insurance/ I pray all goes well with the insuranceand that God provides comfort




Posts: 1914
Joined: May 2012

I am so terribly sorry for your loss.  As far as the life insurance I think it's absolute bunk !  I agree that if in anyway you could pull an attorney into this one you should.  I was not actively working but my employer was paying the premium.  Dang it, even call your state general attorney and see what they say.  (if it's too much on you right now have a family member do it for you)  Again my thoughts and prayers are with you. 

And you bring up an excellant point OUR DOCTORS SHOULD BE LISTENING TO US ALWAYS.  Please anyone reading this take it to heart !  Hugs sent to you !  Katie

debbiejeanne's picture
Posts: 3095
Joined: Jan 2010

chuckles, i'm so very sorry for your loss.  i'm sorry you will wonder for ever if things could be different if the docs had listened.  cancer is such a cruel disease.  i'm praying for you.  i just don't know what else to say.  i hope the ins. company pays you.  i'm with the others, i've never heard that about not being active.  please don't let yourself get tooo low.  if you need to, talk to a doc about some meds.  this is a very hard time for you and you may need some help to get thru.  saying prayers for a better tomorrow.  God bless you, Chuckles.



Skiffin16's picture
Posts: 8286
Joined: Sep 2009

Sorry for your loss and your pain....



hwt's picture
Posts: 2330
Joined: Jun 2012

Sorry for your loss. It is difficult to know if catching it earlier would have made a difference. I believe God has a plan for each of us. I would certainly exhaust every available avenue with regard to the life insurance.

Prayers for your family.

j4mie's picture
Posts: 218
Joined: Sep 2013

So very sorry for your loss. I hope that everything from here on out works out in your favor...


Posts: 37
Joined: Feb 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss and everything you are going through. I hope you get the insurance issue resolved.  What a weight on your shoulders!  I'll be thinking of you.

donfoo's picture
Posts: 1648
Joined: Dec 2012

So sorry to hear about what you are going through. Insurance companies are notorious for writing loopholes and outs in the fine lines. Take some time and gather up and print everything related to the insurance benefit as you need this packet of information. Once you have that all in hand it makes it easier to understand the full picture. With that packet it will be easier to get others to review it. Maybe some relatives or good friend can read it over and give you their impression on what is going on.

Rather than dealing with an attorney just now, have you contacted the HR/benefits department from your husband's company? If the policy was issued as part of a group policy that the company arrranged and paid for then they, as a paying customer, should be interested in knowing they receive full benefits of the insurance they purchase on behalf of the employees. If they agree this is a benefit they feel is valid, then maybe their attorney can get involved.

And thank you for sharing the update on your husband's experiences. It is a HUGE reminder that we must remain confident in our own sense of heath and when not feeling proper diagnosis is forthcoming, WE are the ones who have to seek other professional input.

Best of hope for you,


Posts: 1846
Joined: Aug 2010

I am very sorry to hear of your loss.  Ten days was not enough time to get your heart and your mind anywhere near ready for losing your husband.  I cannot imagine what you went through.

Contact the HR department first and ask for an explanation.

If you can't get cooperation, then contact an attorney.  If he had life insurance, it should pay at his death; otherwise, the policy would only pay for death in the case of an accident and that is called accidental death and dismemberment insurance and is definitely a separate type of policy.


Hondo's picture
Posts: 6643
Joined: Apr 2009

I too am sorry for your lost, but life goes on and you must stay alive. It is sad that after all this you have to fight the insurance company. But that is what they do to keep from paying you as long as they can. Sometimes you need to get a lawyer to help; the sad part is that he will take 1/3 of the insurance. Keep calling them and keep fighting them, they know they have to pay you they are just hopping you will go away and they can keep from paying you. Keep fighting


Will keep you in prayer


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