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Christmas Greetings

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

For many here this can be a very difficult time of the year. Coming up on my 5th Christmas without my husband, I still feel the loss. We did so many things together. He was the package wrapper, so as I throw/place gifts in bags I remember him wrapping everything with great care. Decorating the tree is becoming easier. I didn't have one for a couple of years. Christmas Eve was our night. That's when we did the family dinner. Again this year, one of my sons is choosing not to be here. I still will have one son and family along with my sister, brother-in-law and some good friends sharing dinner tomorrow evening. My mother passed away in September. She didn't really know me the last couple of years, but it will still be my first year in many when she isn't here. Life changes whether we like it or not. Yet, I know I am blessed in many ways.

For the newly grieving, I want you to be careful. I had a minor car accident that first Christmas. I was in a major fog. I have read here and elsewhere that that isn't uncommon. Be aware that little, often silly, things can hit us and we may find ourselves in tears. Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel. It's ok to feel lost and hurt while others are celebrating, maybe even especially then. For me the season has become easier. I have such wonderful memories, but even those can hurt at times. That's ok, too. Take care of yourselves. Change your traditions or cling to them. Whatever is right for you. Know that you are not alone. 

I wish you all peace with blessings and cyber hugs. Fay

wolfen's picture
Posts: 1329
Joined: Apr 2009

I suppose "track of time" is another one of those things we lose in our grief. I can hardly believe that Ron has been gone for almost 8 months now.

Our nearby family(son & grandson) would come by on Christmas Eve to open one gift & then we would visit friends to deliver gifts & then drive around to look at light displays. This Eve, I will be alone, so plan to attend a small church service. My small family will come over on Christmas, including my grandoggy who is about Great Dane sized.  LOL  She is a sweetheart though(My cat doesn't agree).

I don't have much of the spirit, but I did put up a tiny tree & some angels. Gifts are few, so different from past years, with a huge tree surrounded by gifts.

I'm sorry about the loss of your mother. Mine has been gone for 7 years now. Two days ago, her best friend died from cancer at age 90. A very special, sweet lady.

Peace & hugs to you, also.

Posts: 306
Joined: Jan 2010

You have been a constant in my life since my wife's passing and I thank you. This Christmas is the second since her passing, and I put up a tree and some lights. I have a daughter home with me, but she will be working, so I'll be all alone this Christmas again. I want to just spend that time reflecting, probably go to Church, then get ready for the grand kids this weekend.

Each year is getting easier for me. Life does go on. The sadness of my wife's passing will always be something I will never understand, but it's real, and I have to move on somehow.

Blessings to all.


Posts: 13
Joined: Sep 2013

i understand about losing a spouse.  It has been 15 years since I lost my husband and it seems a little piece of you is missing. But it does get better as time goes on.


Posts: 11
Joined: Oct 2013

seen tiitle in board and didnt read untill today because of title and then feeling down came on here and read and gave me a smile as stood in the middle of asda weeping at pringles and twiglets i thought where did it come from i was on top today and now in the middle of the black circle of grief and hoping my little girls smiles will pull me out again without experience you cant understand but if i could give someone agift it would be ignorance of this understanding.fay you and a few others who are not ignorant of this experience have helped me through and myself and my girls wish you a good holiday.


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