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I am still here

VivianLee5689's picture
Posts: 546
Joined: Aug 2012

Hey everyone. I am so sorry I left the grid for so long. It has been a very difficult 7 months. I lost my home to foreclosure but thank goodness David had a bit of life insurance so I was able to buy myself a cute house. It isn't as big but I love it. I am still missing my husband intensely but I am starting to really move forward with my life again. To be honest I almost blocked csn out of my memory for the pain of cancer is difficult, but the friendships I have made here are to important to me to close the door. So I will try to be more present. I have missed my dear friends and I hope most of you are still hear. You kept me going during a really hard period. 

Posts: 1104
Joined: Jan 2011

It is good to hear from you.  Thank you for updating.  Please do not stay away so long this time.

VivianLee5689's picture
Posts: 546
Joined: Aug 2012

I will try to. I notice I lose track of time and sometimes forget things. 

Skiffin16's picture
Posts: 8286
Joined: Sep 2009

You are always welcome here...

You were due and needed time away, I think we all were sending that message. Time in some cases is about the only thing that can heal.

Glad to see you, and hear that you are doing well..., I'm sure it's still one foot in front of the other at times, but that's the way we heal.



CivilMatt's picture
Posts: 4318
Joined: May 2012


Tried (successfully) to stay away.  Tried (unsuccessfully) to block CSN mentally.  Well I knew this would happen and I inserted a subliminal message in my posts, set to go off after 7 months away from here.   Well. I have been expecting you.

Don’t be a stranger. It is always nice to hear from you, cute house and all.

Your Oregon friend,


VivianLee5689's picture
Posts: 546
Joined: Aug 2012

Thank you. I have missed you as well.  I knew I was told grief was a process and was a difficult journey but geez making it without my best friend (husband) has been misersable.  I couldn't keep alienating myself from the great support I have here. 

debbiejeanne's picture
Posts: 3095
Joined: Jan 2010

welcome back, vivian!!  we missed u.  i'm glad u r starting to get back to living a little.  little by little is how it will happen.  congrats on the new house.  i'm sure u will enjoy it.  don't stay away so long next time.  take care.

God bless.


Posts: 80
Joined: Apr 2013

I have often thought of you over the past few months. My husband was just starting treatment when you were here.....I am glad that you are moving on and moving through your grieving process.  Time is always a healer, just usually not fast enough for us.  

God Bless,


Crazymom's picture
Posts: 339
Joined: Nov 2011

you are a wonderful person and although you have had a lot of pain I believe God has good things in store for you in the future.  Glas about the house!



peggylulu's picture
Posts: 375
Joined: Dec 2012

For updating us . I have thought of you several times and have wondered how you were doing . It's so goog to hear that you are starting to move forward . Please come back and let us know how you are . 

debbiejeanne's picture
Posts: 3095
Joined: Jan 2010

so glad u stopped by.  we've all been worried about u and hoped that u were traveling.  the new house sounds like just what u needed.  i hope u are able to continue to move forward.  glad u r back.

God bless.


hwt's picture
Posts: 2330
Joined: Jun 2012

Thought of you just a week ago! Was hoping you were moving on with your life and it sounds as if that is the case. Happy to hear that you have a new house that you like. While you were away, I was taken back with a recurrence, tumor around my carotid artery. Went to Mayo Clinic in MN. for 5 precise radiation tx. (no side effects). Will know if there was any success from tx in early December. With that said, I feel great! Enjoy life, you know that is what David most wanted for you.



Ingrid K's picture
Ingrid K
Posts: 813
Joined: Mar 2011

so good to hear from you !   as others have said, you are always welcome here.

you are and will always be "one of us".

Glad to hear that you keep moving in the right direction and finding a little joy along the way.

You are a strong person and David is looking down and smiling all the time.

cureitall66's picture
Posts: 912
Joined: Aug 2012


It's good to hear from you. Sound like you have taken some forward steps and I'm happy to hear that. I replied to your message here a few weeks ago, not sure you got it. I pray you continue to move forward in a good way.

Keep in touch.



Jan Trinks's picture
Jan Trinks
Posts: 477
Joined: Apr 2009



So glad you checked in.  Sounds as if you are doing well.  Sorry about the house but glad about the new one!  I was approved for the hamp modification on my house so that has been a tremendous help.  Looking at Chapter 7 for credit cards in near future but am now receiving Charlie's SS and my teacher retirement so Charlie is now supporting me again!  You are so right about how people here get you through a very tough time.  I don't know what I would do without my CSN "Buds" as I call them!  I'm not posting as much as I would like to but do check in and see what's happening.  I just wish I could meet all of my csn "buds" in person and give them a big hug personally.  Maybe someday we can drum up a "reunion" of sorts!  Hope you have a good holiday season and remember it will be tough this first time but it doesn't mean it can't be good and David would want you to enjoy it as much as you can.  And even though it won't be the same, try to think of it as just different and keep busy.  It does help!  Again great to hear from you.


Jan (Basketcase)

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