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Recurrent Dream-starting to bother me.

Posts: 167
Joined: Apr 2009

It’s time I share this because it is driving me crazy-I have been having a recurrent dream, about 2-3 times per month. In the dream my wife who died of cancer 3 years ago has returned to my life and I am stressed of how to tell her I have remarried. I feel intense sadness and grief at trying to figure out how to present her with the news I have found someone else (I remarried a year ago).  

I wake up and realize it’s all a dream, only to go back to sleep and experience it again. My current wife seems to think it’s because we live in the same house and perhaps we should sell it and move (She is very understanding).

I am even considering counseling to help me with this. I was married to my first wife for 32 years. I think some of this represents unfinished issues my wife and I never addressed when she was terminally ill.  To be completely honest, I feel much more loved now than I did before, a wife who loves and cherishes me.  I am happier, more fulfilled. 

But it, the dream, is starting to bother me.

Any thoughts?


grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

You were married for 32 years. it is understandable that you have some mixed feelings about your current happiness. Your previous marriage will always be a part of your life. Counseling is never a bad idea especially if the dreams are really bothering you. One thing I learned from losing my husband of 42 years after a 6 year battle is appreciate today. Celebrate your happiness now. Wishing you many more days of happiness. Fay

Posts: 683
Joined: Apr 2010

Stop worrying!  Dreams mean nothing, nothing at all.  Your wife is at peace and you should be at peace also.  Selling and moving is not such a bad idea.  Just remember the Dead has no power, your mind is playing with you.  Enjoy your current wife and bury the issues you had.  Talk about them with your present wife and put them behind you.  You are probably feeling a little guilty of some of the issues you did not address or for what occurred during her illness, but hey! you lived through it when she was alive, so now that she is resting and knows nothing, just let it rest with her.   Best wishes

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