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Update on Steve

Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

Hi everybody.

 Steve has been in the hospital for almost one week.  Fatigue, poor appetite and difficulty breathing have been the main issues.  Many tests have been done.  The three sessions of Folfox have not helped.  Liver/lung tumors have grown and some new ones have developed.  He is very weak.  Sleeps almost constantly.  Liver function is worse every day.  Urine is very dark, bowel movements are very light in color, face and eyes appear jaundiced.  We have decided to stop treatment.  The plan is for him to go home next week with hospice care.  I will take an LOA from my job so that I can look after him.  Steve asked the onc how much longer.  Onc preferred not to answer.  He said there is no way of knowing.  I suspect it will not be long.  

I am not sure how active I will be on the board as I suspect I will be quite busy.  I will let you guys know of any new developments.  I want to thank you all for your ongoing support throughout Steve's illness.  Without you all, I would have lost my mind ages ago.


Wishing you all the very best,


lp1964's picture
Posts: 1240
Joined: Jun 2013

What can one say in a situation like this. We all wish Steve comfort and peace. You Chelsea the the strength and the patients. As sad as these days and weeks could be I wish both of you to be able to maintain a mindset to make the best of it to reflect. Don't ask what could have been or should have been, but celebrate the good things that were and still are.

We are here for you any time, but you two spending time together is more important.


Posts: 1607
Joined: Aug 2012

Oh Chelsea..my heart is hurting for you guys :( I wish there was something I could do or say to help. It makes me sad and angry. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

thingy45's picture
Posts: 633
Joined: Apr 2011

Dear Chelsea,


what can I say, enjoy each day together. You are both in my thoughts.

We are here for you and Steve, it is difficult to be a caregiver, zi have been on both sides of the bed.

in my mind I put my arms around you for a big super hug,


geotina's picture
Posts: 2123
Joined: Oct 2009

If there is anything you have questions about, please send me a pm.  If you want my phone number, let me know.  Talking to another caregiver helps tremendously.  Cynthia (Liviningin NH) and I correspond regularly and talk on the phone.   It would be our honor to talk to you, if that is what you need.

For now, concentrate on Steve.  You did all you could for him and I know you will continue to do so.   

With deepest sorrow for what you are facing - Tina

LivinginNH's picture
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010


My dear friend, we are keeping you in our thoughts during this most difficult and sad time.  And yes, as Tina mentioned, please call me if you have any questions or just want to talk.



Cathleen Mary
Posts: 827
Joined: May 2011

Dear Chelsea,

My heart ached as I read your post. Every patient should have a Chelsea in their life.  You have truly been remarkable.  You and Steve have had a rough journey. I hope that you have more good time ahead than you can now imagine. Blessings on you both. 


Cathleen Mary

Annabelle41415's picture
Posts: 6694
Joined: Feb 2009

He has given all his energy in this battle.  I'm praying that his final days are painless and you both find peace and God's grace upon you.  You are a wonderful caregiver and he is fortunate to have you as his wife. 


wolfen's picture
Posts: 1329
Joined: Apr 2009

My heart is breaking for you and Steve. You have both fought so long & hard. No words can express how sorry I am that you have reached this point.

I will be thinking of you both in this most difficult time. Just hold each other tight. I'm glad that Hospice will be there to help you.



steveandnat's picture
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

I hate hearing such deviating news about Steve.  You have been theror for him through this awful journey and Steve is very fortunate to have you. I pray that peace finds both of you.  Jeff

Posts: 503
Joined: Apr 2013

Chelsea, I'm sorry you're going through this right now.  I hope you and Steve can find some peace in the coming days.  You've been an awesome caregiver, keep up the good work.  I'll be thinking of you both.  We're all suffering along with you.


johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

so sorry for you and steve.hospice is great they were there 24-7 for my stepdad hang tough we all know in our hearts that this is also part of our journey as it will come to all oneday.prayers to you both..Godbless...johnnybegood

lilacbrroller's picture
Posts: 412
Joined: Jun 2012

Chelsea - I had high hopes, especially when you said he was getting his own mouse (June post, I think.)

I wish Steve a peaceful journey with as little pain as possible. To take this journey surrounded by so much love and care is the best thing possible.  You seem like a wonderful caregiver!


- Karin

Lovekitties's picture
Posts: 3366
Joined: Jan 2010

It is with great sadness that I read you post.

I can only hope that Steve will be at peace and have no pain.  I know that you as his loving wife and caregiver will do all in your power to make it so.

You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Marie who loves kitties

annalexandria's picture
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

This is just horrible and unfair.  Steve has fought so hard, and you've fought alongside him every step of the way.  I can understand him making the choice to stop treatment.  I hope that getting the chemo out of his system will help him to feel a little better, and you can get him home to spend some time with the family.

Love to you both~AA

Momof2plusteentwins's picture
Posts: 508
Joined: May 2012

It's so hard to read this from you. Cancer is so unfair.

Posts: 308
Joined: Mar 2012

peace to you both.  He has fought a good fight and you have helped him do so.  Keeping you in my prayers.



herdizziness's picture
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

My heart aches at your news.  I think collectively we are there in spirit with Steve and you as you delve into this next journey together.  I see you there sitting with him, watching as he sleeps wistful for more time, I hope that as the chemo wears off that he will be awake more often so that you can talk and laugh at memories that you had made together theough the years, that you are given a little more time to make new memories to carry you through what will be a most difficult time. 

I wish I was a song writer so I could write a song about all of you wonderful spouses that have watched over your loved ones through the thick and thin of the journey of cancer, the love that you give, the caring, the helping, the being there, and your heartbreak when we don't make it, a song in tribute to those that have stood by us through the tears and laughter, the fears and hope of this cancer h-ll.  Far to many of you are left to face the losses of a partner way to soon.  We grieve with you.

I am carrying you and Steve in my heart.

Winter Marie

johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

dont mean to take away from this thread but there is a song that hit my heart when it came out it is called "I will stand by you" i think it is by rascal flatts country group when me and my husband first heard it we just held eachother and cried thanks winter for thinking about that...Godbless...johnnybegood

annalexandria's picture
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

the song I Won't Let Go by Rascal Flatts


johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

AA for bringing that up sorry i got the title wrong,,,Godbless...johnnybegood

fatbob2010's picture
Posts: 467
Joined: May 2012

Very sad...There is nothing that I can say...peace and comfort to both of you in this time of trial.


Sundanceh's picture
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi Chels:)

Just wanted to talk to you again before you left here.  This was sad news to read about today.  Witnessing the human body fail on us is the hardest thing to go through for both parties.  The both of you took this to the limit all the way and I was so hoping that Steve would get some kind of reprieve along the way during his fight.

I can understand stopping treatment and having his days made as pain free as possible now...Steve earned that a long time ago.

And I hope you are able to find some peace at some point with everything that has gone on.  You've been in fight mode for so long that it's hard to slip it out of gear as it quickly becomes all that you know. 

You've been a great caregiver and you are a valued member here in the community.  I will miss seeing you, but totally understand the need to unplug from the cancer world as you deal with this transition in your life and all of the uncertainty that must come with it. 

I've enjoyed getting to know you....and getting to know Steve through you:)

Will be waiting to hear any updates from you as we try and support this stage of life with you.




tachilders's picture
Posts: 313
Joined: Jun 2012

I am so sorry to read this.  There have been far too many posts like this in teh last few months.  I wish there was something I could say or do to make this time easier for you, but I really don't think there is.  I hope that the time you have left with Steve is as good as it can be, and best of luck in the future.  I know that some day my wife will likely be making a similar post here, as I intend for her to let the board know when I reach the last stages of my fight.  I'm not super religious, but I will say a prayer for both of you...


Maxiecat's picture
Posts: 544
Joined: Jul 2012

I am so very sad reading your post about Steve.  Thank God he has you by his side.  I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers.


YoVita's picture
Posts: 590
Joined: Mar 2010

You've been a rock for your husband.  Peace to you both.  

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