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Need Your Strength

danbren2's picture
Posts: 311
Joined: May 2013

Hi Everybody,

I just lost a friend on Saturday to this God awful disease, Pancreas Cancer, she was 69. She was diagnosed in April 2013 and left us on Saturday (July 27, 2013) at 1:15 pm.  Not really sure what to say or do, I am still here fighting, NEDing with Kidney Cancer and am very happy to be here doing so.

Guess I just wanted to say Hi and thank everyone for their support, I don’t think Margaret ever had the time to reach out to you all.  I am so glad that you’re here, I think others will know what I am feeling, upset, but happy to be still here.  Feels kinda wrong to feel happy to still be here though.

Anyway, thanks again for just being here for me to be able to talk truthfully to and I thank God for each you, and the help and wonderful advice I have gotten from you all. 

Love and Prayers of Good Health to you all,


Djinnie's picture
Posts: 945
Joined: Apr 2013

I am so sorry to hear about the sad loss of your friend Margaret. I have some understanding of the mixed emotions you are going through at the moment. I know that your friend would not want you to feel any guilt. I lost a close friend a short time ago, it was a terrific shock because it was so sudden. I struggled with a sense of disbelief for a long time. All we can do is be grateful for the time we have, and enjoy our life and the people in it as much as we can.


All the best

Djinnie x

I am alive
Posts: 316
Joined: Jul 2012

My heart breaks for Margaret. She had no time to digest what was happening. Time is one advantage most of us have in kidney onc world. Time to go through a kaleidoscope of emotions, time to educate ourselves, time to seek out doctors and treatments, time to spend with loved ones, to take vacations, enjoy anniversaries and birthdays and holidays, time to understand ourselves and our disease and, if we are lucky, time to find peace. And if we are REALLY lucky, time to stay ahead of the curve, to take advantage of the newest latest greatest miracle drugs coming down the pike. Time to break median barriers and establish new survival frontiers.

Several friends of mine have died since I was diagnosed with RCC, some of them suddenly. None of them from RCC. It reminds me that death is part of life, and always has been. Damn it.

danbren2's picture
Posts: 311
Joined: May 2013

She did not even have time to get over being so scared!  Many of us have anxiety of the unknown, but Margaret only had a little over 3 months and was very scared.  I am happy there was not much pain, that was kept under control until the last hour.  She did not have to suffer much and I am thankful to God for that.  Thanks for your thoughts, they have helped!

                                                                                                                   Sending prayers and wishes of good health!

danbren2's picture
Posts: 311
Joined: May 2013

It is sad, but I am thankful for support here! Thank you for your kind words.  Sending prayers and good health to you!

foxhd's picture
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

Does it? It also seems to be more frequent than we could ever imagine. We all have looked forward to the easy living of our adult years only to be slapped in the face with a wakeup call. Sorry for your loss.

BDS's picture
Posts: 172
Joined: Aug 2012

Danbren2 will your post hit real close to home for me. Like you I lost a good friend and neighbor Norm to pancreatic cancer. Norm was 55 and passed away four months after I was diagnosed with stage IV renal cell carcinoma. Norm was the type of guy that anyone would love to have as a friend or neighbor and would do anything for you. Norm was the first person outside of my immediate family who I told of my diagnosis.   I saw him walking out to his car and I walked over and told him. We both just held each other a cried. Norm gave me one of the first words of encouragement that I had heard up to that point. My surgeon had informed me that being stage four with numerous mets to my lungs and abdomen that I may not be alive in a year. When I informed Norm of this he just looked at me at said “Buddy you are too healthy to be dead in a year”, Cancer is a terrible disease, its incredibility hard to watch someone who once had a body of an Olympic runner waste away to that of an Auschwitz victim. Norm left behind a loving daughter and wife.  Everybody dies; my daughter last month just lost two of her high school friends to a tragic drowning accident – 18 years old. Dan and Perry had their whole lives in front of them. They were good kids. My wife and I watch these kids grow up. My daughter had a little party for Perry last month before he was supposed to go into the military. You just do not know.  I am sorry if I am starting to ramble but I have lost too many friends and co-workers to cancer. The point I guess I am trying to make here as long as you are on this side of the dirt appreciate each breath god gives you for what it’s worth. We all have one life and so much time here on God’s green Earth so make that time count.    – BDS

PS - If the weather cooperates in two weeks I am going skydiving - Life is good.    

elpasorudy's picture
Posts: 84
Joined: Jan 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss. It probably still seems a bit unreal. My wife died June 1 from uterine cancer, and I have been doing bereavement counseling to express my feelings and to discuss the loss. It's been helpful. You may want to consider doing the same. Men tend to keep their feelings inside and stay busy rather than discussing a loss. Hope you are well.

danbren2's picture
Posts: 311
Joined: May 2013

All so much.  I am so glad to have found this sight, it really means so much to have your thoughts and concerns!

                                                                                                                                                 Love and Prayers, Brenda

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