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Been absent for awhile

kikz's picture
Posts: 1347
Joined: Jun 2010

except for posting on someone else's thread.  Have felt crappy since I started chemo on May 7th but even worse since chemo on June 25th.  I had to skip my scheduled chemo on July 18th because I had diarrhea for five days, extreme fatigue and low blood counts; platelets were 58 and neurophils were 4.  I am anemic and neutropenic.  Sounds like a broadway tune.  A wonderful advice nurse was in daily contact with me after I had called in on June 29th.  It was a Saturday and I was scared based on what happened 3 years ago when I didn't get help in time.  The ER's attending physicians' words were "I don't see how you made it."  Wow!

Anyway...I am on day two and already experiencing symptoms like foggy head and queasy stomach that usually start on day three.  I got up, made my breakfast, put on sprinklers, washed dishes, had my 89-year old mother help me reposition my new potting table (Okay I am anal) and sat outside for a couple of hours.  I have been in bed so much I am trying to avoid it as long as possible.

My picc line needs to be be redone as it has slipped out to 12.  They were unable to get a blood draw but it was ok for the infusion.  However, that may be a moot point now because I might not need chemo #5 or 6,  My latest CA 125 is five (CA 125's were 191. 25, 6, 7 and 5)  I will have a petscan on July 31th and that will determine if I am in remission.  I never thought it would go so fast.  So I am sorry for all the bit*hing about the discomfort but you know how it is when you are in the middle of "sick", it's sometimes hard to see the light at the end.  I was kind of deadpan when the doctor was talking to me and it made me feel a bit ungrateful but it has been kind of hard with the heart thing and just never recouping between chemos. 

I have had to depend on my mom a lot and she is quite fragile, with her own health problems.  My son will help when asked.  I enlisted one friend to be my chauffeur which has worked out great.  She is very dependable.  I don't have to worry about finding different people to take me to appointments.  I still feel forgotten by most of my friends and family but am doing my best to not to let anger rear it's ugly head.  I mostly feel puzzled.  I know people are busy but some of whom I considered very good friends do not even know I started chemo again.  I know I could call but as someone on this board once said, the people who are really in your life will know.  I guess my circle is much smaller than I thought it was.

So ladies I guess I have dodged another bullet and hope to be in NED's strong arms soon.  Hell I wish I was in someone's arms!  Ha Ha Ha.  Imagine finding a man with my laundry list of issues.  Old, sick, 89-year old mother, son who hasn't left the nest, not to mention the extra pounds I carry.   Oh well, I am probably much better off.   At this age I would probably find a man that needed me to take care of him.  I don't have the strength for that. 





scatsm's picture
Posts: 296
Joined: Apr 2013

I was wondering how you are. It's such good news that you responded well to chemo, but my heart goes out to you about how sick you feel. I think we all know how it feels and how it seems to last forever. Hopefully soon this will be behind you. Here's to better times ahead!


Alexandra's picture
Posts: 1311
Joined: Jul 2012

I hope PET scan will confirm your NED status and you will be able to put this chapter behind you for a good long time. I am amazed that with all the trouble chemo is causing you, you still manage to accomplish more in one morning then I do in a week.

I few jokes about men to make you smile:

How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones left are handicapped or too small.

What is a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.

How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

How do you keep your man from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A power failure.

What's the biggest difference between men and women?
What they mean, when they say: "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

A Professor was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your "a$$ hole" is doing while you're having an orgasm?' She replied, 'Probably fishing with his buddies.'

lovesanimals's picture
Posts: 1364
Joined: Sep 2011

I can't get over your wonderful sense of humor, even when you feel like crap.  And you've been through the wringer these last few months.  I'm hoping and praying that you are finished with chemo, given your outstanding CA 125.  I know how to play nice and to share, and I'm more than willing and happy to share my NED with you and everyone else who wants him.  You deserve some fun; what's more fun than dancing with NED?  Hang in there; you are really, really close to the finish line!



P.S. Alexandra, I'm still chuckling over your jokes.  Ha-ha!


poopergirl14052's picture
Posts: 1185
Joined: Nov 2010

We all need to be MIA for a little. Glad you are are here and feeling better. Take care of yourself,hope your Mom is ok too. Stay strong..val


Pamela B's picture
Pamela B
Posts: 108
Joined: Jan 2013

Always good to hear from you Karen.  So sorry things are getting you down but you always manage to rise above in the end.  I know exactly what you mean about people sort of letting you down.  My guess is that some people just don't know how to react to this disease and it is easier for them to ignore us.  Some of my closest friends did this and it surprised me.  They were there if I asked them for something but never volunteered or asked if I needed anything.  Others who I thought were not as close went the extra mile and were always there for me through out my chemo.  I found it  very strange and tried to put myself in their shoes and wondered how I would react.  I finally asked one friend and she said she just couldn't handle seeing me sick.  Everyone is different.  But you are strong and I know you will persevere beat this once again.

lulu1010's picture
Posts: 367
Joined: Feb 2011

I know how hard it is to keep up with the boards when you are trying to survive chemo but it was good to get an update.

Sorry this has been so hard on you and glad you seem to have gotten help. Remember this is just a bump in the road and things will get better. Take care! Hugs!


lulu1010's picture
Posts: 367
Joined: Feb 2011

I know how hard it is to keep up with the boards when you are trying to survive chemo but it was good to get an update.

Sorry this has been so hard on you and glad you seem to have gotten help. Remember this is just a bump in the road and things will get better. Take care! Hugs!


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