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Relapse "AA" style

Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2012

Hello friends,so far Im Cancer free,for that Im grateful.....I Had stage 3 or 4 Patroid Cancer....it varied WHICH docitor I talked to,first they said 4 then 3 one even saidit was said stage 2!!!...but my problem is im an Alcoholic AND drug addict....when they told me I had Cancer I was coming up on 4 years soberity,going to AA and very active in that program.....I was really in no real pain at first,but I had the doc prescribe me Oxycontain........well with that I knew i had an EXCUSE no one in AA could touch...alli had to say is YOU GO THROUGH THIS crap and stay sober,and that shut my AA friends up.....Now since I got a NEW lease on life,my pity party has to stop!.......if anyone has any insight on this matter please help me,I am cutting down....Xanex and Norco only no boose......NONE IS PRESCRIBED...but I can get it....I feel sooooo guilty now..........this sight has saved my life I wanted to go to some Cancer support groups at first but it was once  a month meeting,my mind is in overdrive EVERY DAY........thanks guys,I did find out this thing IS BEATABLE....God be with you...

CivilMatt's picture
Posts: 4373
Joined: May 2012


While I am not an authority on addiction, I have fought and survived the H&N ball game and want to tell you how happy I am with your results.  Cancer treatments don’t play fair with the human body, so I give great leeway in the path which one take to get through this mess.

I wish you the best of luck in your current endeavor.


patricke's picture
Posts: 518
Joined: Aug 2006

First of all congratulations on being cancer free; and second, the stage, in my opinion doesn't matter, you just have to hit the ground running, and do what you need to do to beat it.  Now, about the addiction, you need to get professioal help ASAP, NO IFS, ANDS OR BUTS, and do what needs to be done to detox, per your professional's recommendations!  You can do this.  Here's sending you best wishes for a healthy recovery on both fronts.


phrannie51's picture
Posts: 4678
Joined: Mar 2012

cancer treatment...you can pat yourself on the back...it ain't an easy row to hoe, and you did it!!

I've seen a number of innocents on this board....people who'd never had a drug or alcohol problem....who....when the time came to get off the pain killers....found themselves in extra pain, were sick, cranky and edgy...and didn't have a clue what was going on.  Then there are a few like you and I.... Smile.  The first time I walked into the Oncologist's office I KNEW that I should tell him about my addictive nature....my justification for not telling was "what if I'm in real pain, and he does't give me anything".....so I didn't say anything....and never have said anything.  It didn't escape my thinking tho, that this was a great opportunity to get prescriptions of good stuff...my OWN prescriptions, no less...woooo.  Keep in mind that at the time I was diagnosed, I had nearly 26 years of sobriety....and my head went to the exact same place yours went.  I was lucky, tho....because I only let my head go there for a day or so, and never let my body follow....

So now you've gotten rid of the Oxy's and have downgraded to Norco and Xanex....right?  It's time to rat yourself out to the Dr....so they can help you to physically get off all pain killers.....as for the anti-depressant.....you might actually need those, and a Dr. can prescibe something that isn't as strong, or works differently.  But your first step in all of this is doing yourself the favor of informing a Dr......you next step is staying away from your connection......I'd think going back to meetings would be a fine idea to help with that.  Start getting a daily dose of good thinking going for yourself. You know and I know that the foundation of getting clean is "you gotta wanna".....go to ANY length to get it.....and doing the above is going the lengths it takes to get back on track.

You know that you'll be welcomed back with open arms at the meetings....relapses happen everyday, and so far I've never seen anyone get barred at the door... Laughing 


Duggie88's picture
Posts: 703
Joined: Feb 2010


Between my neck disection and radiation I was on oxycodone a good 4 months. The latter part mainly because I liked the way it made me feel and not because I needed it for pain. I finally said this is out of hand and stopped cold turkey which didn't sit real well because I went through withdrawls. After suffering from the symptoms I found on the internet and also seen that it is quite common from taking the drug for a long period of time, I called my radiologist and they told me I had to slowly cut back on the drug in order to quit and did so in an enjoyable fashion. Nothing to feel quilty about it was all part of your treatment even though you state that you were not in any real pain at first. If anyone else in your AA group went through what you did, only then would they understand. Yes I was addicted, am I ashamed of it, hell no.

People have often asked me what it was like being on that drug so long. I told them I would take it, go sit on the sofa and watch the clock, and twenty minutes later you could tell me I was bankrupt and I wouldn't give a dam.

You were told you had cancer. Your mindset along with modern medicine allowed you to beat it and the drugs were part of the medicine. In my line of work I have to take an aggressive stance when I am right. Go to your meetings and keep your head up, My son is a 15 year recovering alcoholic and I am dam proud of him and if he had a setback such as yours, because I went through it I would understand. Again, they didn't go through what you did. You had an understandable setback. If you need someone to set them straight and you live closeby I would be glad to do so. I do that for a living also.

Just my 3 cents (inflation)


hwt's picture
Posts: 2330
Joined: Jun 2012

The fact that you have acknowledged a problem is a good start but now you need to act on a resolution. I stuck with my pain meds at night simply because they made me sleep soundly...no excuse. My ONC was giving me Ativan but let it be known that it was not for long term use so I didn't have the nerve to ask her for another script once I was doing well. I do still take a low dose of Xanax so I'm not one to dish out too much advice. I do wish you good luck.

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