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Gifts from Mary Ann

Ro10's picture
Posts: 1579
Joined: Jan 2009

Another forum I am on listed a post  for someone who went on hospice, so that person would know what gifts  they had given to them.  Mary Ann is not doing well.  She is getting weaker every day.  She is using oxygen to help her breathe.  She is also taking morphine for the pain.  I hope Rudy will read to Mary Ann how special she was to this board.

Mary Ann you are to be admired.  you always welcomed new members and were always positive and encouraging.  You always answeed questions.  You always shared your jpurney through the good times and not so good times.  You have been courageous, dignified and honest in your posts.  I appreciate you sharing everything with us.  You encouraged alternative methods but never pushed them.  You have been a strong warrior.   I pray for peace and comfort for you.  May a choir of angels welcome you at  the gates of heaven.  It saddens me greatly that you are going through this.  

Posts: 10
Joined: Sep 2009

Dear Rudy,

My sincerely sympathy in the loss of Mary Ann.  She made a positive difference in so many lives.  She was always so helpful and shared information which was so helpful to me. We had been diagnosed around the same time.  I am so sorry to lose her.  She will be missed.  Bless you Rudy.



elpasorudy's picture
Posts: 84
Joined: Jan 2013

Mary Ann had started to write her own eulogy. It took me a few days to locate it on her computer. It was unfinished, but she mentions this support group. Here are her words: "I want to thank my cohorts from the Cancer Survivors Network. They are a wonderful group of women, an inspiration to me. We share the same affliction, a nasty uterine cancer, but we don't let it control our lives. These women provided great support. Some are now waiting for me in heaven. I have been battling cancer for close to five years with surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, prayer, meditation, vitamins, herbs, diet, acupuncture, visualization and massage. I have been in the valley of the shadow contemplating my death, but mostly contempating and living my wonderful life. To be alive in this world is a gift beyond price and perhaps beyond comprehension. My wish is that each of you take time in your busy lives to help others, to enjoy your friends and family, to be good to yourselves. The best part of life is not just surviving, but thriving with passion and compassion and humor and style and generosity and kindness." - Rudy

Ro10's picture
Posts: 1579
Joined: Jan 2009

Mary Ann DID " thrive with passion and compassion and humor and style and generosity and kindness".  Thank you so much for sharing her thoughts.  It takes someone really special to write her own eulogy.  Mary was very special.

Posts: 92
Joined: Dec 2012

Rudy, I loved reading that part of Mary Ann's eulogy, it describes how so very many of us feel about the sisterhood on this discussion board.

Everyone on this board will miss Mary Ann and her wise counsel and we are oh, so grateful that she had you as a husband. We all know how much she loved you.   

I hope, in these early days without her, that you are treating yourself with gentleness and kindness and that you continue to do so for a long time to come.  





HellieC's picture
Posts: 524
Joined: Nov 2010

Thank you, Rudy, for sharing Mary Ann's thoughts.  Those of us who have been told our cancer is incurable can really relate to what Mary Ann is saying - she writes so beautifully.

When I lost my mother, a very good friend wrote out this poem for me:

Turn again to life
Mary Lee Hall

If I should die and leave you here a while,
be not like others sore undone,
who keep long vigil by the silent dust.
For my sake turn again to life and smile,
nerving thy heart and trembling hand
to do something to comfort other hearts than thine.
Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine
and I perchance may therein comfort you.

It seems that Mary Ann was telling us all something similar - to live our lives, thrive, help others.  God bless you, Rudy.  Thank you for finding the strength these last days to share with us.

Kindest wishes


jazzy1's picture
Posts: 1385
Joined: Mar 2010

I do love your poem...just hits home as to how I think about death and others still living past my time.  I never want anyone to be sad, but joyous in hopes we all meet again some day.

Rudy, your dear wife Mary Ann, was such a joy to have on our boards as I'd known her for 4 years and each time someone would pass from this horrid disease, she'd be the positive motivator reminding us to endure life.  Her determination to live and keep her body strong to fight the disease was ALWAYS on her mind, and she expressed this same thought process to us all here.  

Surely Mary Ann is up there chatting with our dear friend Linda P and know they're planning a festive time and looking upon us all with hopes to keep on enjoying our lives.  

Rudy, thanks for your posting from her as it truly means a lot.

We'll miss her dearly, but know she has lefts a huge memory in my mind.



laura25's picture
Posts: 168
Joined: Mar 2011

Rudy thank you for sharing, Mary Ann's words are so touching.  She was simply amazing.

Posts: 64
Joined: Oct 2010

what a wonderful way to remember her and to reinforce the importance of this board and how we must continue to support each other and live life each day to the fullest.  Her obituary highlighted further the full and well rounded life she lived.  To you Rudy thank you for posting during this time and sharing Mary Ann with us. We look forward to knowing how you are doing in the days and months ahead.  Hugs Susan

Kathy G.'s picture
Kathy G.
Posts: 168
Joined: Dec 2012

Thank you again Rudy for sharing Mary Ann's beautiful picture, obituary and part of the euology she wrote. It must be healing in a way for you to visit us on this board where Mary Ann was such a strong force and spirit. I am glad she thought of us in the same way!

Although I did not share the same type of cancer with Mary Ann we did share the same fight. It was interesting to read her obituary as we had so much more in common than what I knew...both being in the social work and counseling fields doing much of the same kind of work.

I pray you are doing well and following your wife's own words of wisdom about living life to the fullest. I am sure she would cut you a temporary break during this time, but would want you to get back in the saddle as soon as possible. Mourn her, but rejoice in what you had and move forward when you are ready.

Visit us when you need to talk.

Best wishes...



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