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Bad few Days :-(
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May 16, 2013 - 11:22 am
Hey all, i have been doing really well mentally and physically but I seem to have hit a bit of a wall the last few days. I know its to be expected but it is really starting to get me down because I thought I was flying it!! My mood has changed too and I get really cranky and that is not like me at all. Anyway I just wanted to vent so thanks for listening ;-) Eims x |
Joined: Apr 2013
Its only natural Eims...
If you had been happy go lucky everyday since the operation, with no dips, then you should really worry...
time is your friend and ally in this respect. Patience...
/G
Joined: Mar 2013
Eims, Bad days are "normal"
Eims,
Bad days are "normal" for everyone and considering what you have gone thru, cut yourself a break. I too have my bad days of feeling scared living with 1 kidney, high blood pressure & type 2 diabetes. It's scary to see the horror stories that others have gone thru. What works for me is to divert my attention. I am in school & I'm going back to my job that I LOVE, next week. These things along with TV, phone calls to friends & going to the mall (I love to shop,,,,LOL) all help me forget the negative. I know it is hard but you have living to look forward to.
Donna
Joined: Apr 2013
Bad Few Days
Hi Eims,
I really believe that when hit with something as life changing as cancer, there is a great sense of loss and it takes time for us to adjust to the situation. It is early days yet, but as long as you are able to enjoy more good days than bad then that is a positive step in the right direction.
Djinnie
Joined: Jan 2010
Ups and downs
Eims,
Do not let a few bad days get to you. No matter how much we try to play down the initiation, you, I and all of the other club members went thru major surgery. It was not fun even if we joke about it once in a while and even though many of us have a real good prognosis. You will feel better over the next few months. Trust me.
Icemantoo
Joined: Apr 2013
It's going to happen....
Cancer really changes your body and mindset. While I didn't have a kidney removed, I have had a few rough days here and there. I worked a full day yesterday and decided to mow the lawn when I got home. I was beat when I was done. I sat down on the couch and just about immediately fell asleep and didn't get up until 1:00am! I've also had days when I was easily annoyed by little things. I need to take things easy and not push myself. I need to also watch what I say I guess. Are you on any antidepressants or antianxiety meds? I found those have helped my to be more level headed at least.
Joined: Feb 2013
Thanks guys as we say in
Thanks guys as we say in Ireland I just needed a kick in the arse...lol. Thats why I love you all ;-) Blaklak no I am not on any medication at all x
Joined: Nov 2011
Perspective
Well done Eims - it's always helpful to remember that there are a lot of people much worse off than we are.
You're not on any medications but I bet that Family of yours is a real tonic, even if exhausting!
Joined: Feb 2013
tex you are soooooo right
tex you are soooooo right there are plenty worse off than me and i still believe i am one of the lucky ones!! i think you just need people who have been through the same to give you that little ol wake up call ;-)
eims x
Joined: Mar 2013
Sure hope you are feeling
Sure hope you are feeling better. I have recently started worrying that I have cancer in my throat as I feel something is in there. Going to doctor Monday to get it checked out but keep thinking what if it's cancer again. Will the paranoid thinking ever go away?
Joined: Apr 2013
In time yes it will...
As I recall your surgery was quite recent? March or something like that? Its quite normal to get a bit paranoid afterwards and seeing cancer ghosts everywhere. For my own part, and today I actually smile when I think about it, in the first three months after surgery:
I got checked for testicular cancer...I was SURE I could feel a lump down there.
I got my throat checked...because it definitetly felt soar and irritated. Turned out to be a mild case of laryngitis that my Doc said probably was stress-induced.
I had an MRI scan due to lower back pains...turned out to be the disc problem I have had on and off for ten years that was just acting out again.
I got hospitalized for chest pains for two days...stress again...
And then at some point after probably 4-5 months I simply got tired and fed up with looking at myself as a patient or patient in spe...and it stopped. I stopped. Worrying. And started living instead...
Not saying in anyway that you shouldnt get things checked out, if nothing else to ease your worries. But sometimes, just taking a deep breath and relax is the cure...
/G
Joined: Feb 2013
Putting on my arse kicking boots!
How could you NOT have bad days?
You just demonstrated to me that you are human! I've been wondering how I was going to keep up with you. I've been using your progress as a barometer!
Seriously, have patience! We're all cheering for you!
Joined: Mar 2013
Yup Eims we all have bad
Yup Eims we all have bad days. Nothing a couple glasses of Vino can't fix though
Joined: Oct 2011
Bummed out
When you burn supper or scratch a car, you deal with it, move on, and don't have to think about it anymore. Cancer sure is different. As upbeat as we are, and upbeat as we appear to others, we can't just let go and move on. Kind of like a poker hand and never knowing what cards are out there. When I hurt, I get bad feelings. Then I suddenly feel great and do everything like I didn't miss a beat. With a little more time, you'll get used to these changes. I keep getting better at it all the time. Not to minimize it but with time it is more like an allergy, or diabetes, or heart disease. It becomes a chronic illness. No longer as frightening. Thankfully we are alive, and will continue to be. So, Eims, kinda sucks huh,? Sometimes when I've had my worst days, I just told my wife that I'll get over it in 1-2 or 3 days. Always have. They are less common now. It all comes with the territory. Just wait for a few years to go by, you'll hardly notice.
Joined: Aug 2012
Keep on, keep on
Eims,
Stay the course and take the time to heal. Having some down days is completely normal. At least for me, some days it's hard to be dad, husband, boss, coach.....and so on. The stress coupled with what we've been through is hard. Really freaking hard.
With 4 kids and two of them under three, along with a company to run and the fear/concern of recurrence; I did my very best to get back to "normal" as fast as possible. I ignored so much and eventually it caught up to me. Fatigue, body pain, aches....you name it. Eventually I just had to slow down.
Tough days happen and thank God they do because it makes the good days even more enjoyable.
Stay the course. Hug the kids. Enjoy tomorrow.
CC
Joined: Feb 2013
do you know what this is why
do you know what this is why i come here!! i am sooooo grateful to you all and i love that you take the time to put up a little post....yep i think i need to slow down a bit and maybe i was taking things a little too fast!!! gonna concentrate on getting fit again but at my pace and hopefully it will help give me some much needed head space too.....and cran 1 ill have a bottle of red for you too!!! sending hugs and kisses to you all....
eims x
Joined: Apr 2013
Energy
Hi Eims,
I think once the pain is gone we think we a good to go, not always the case with this sort of op. Our old energy banks are pretty depleted and it will take time and patience before we are near normal. As for you, having little ones to take care of 24/7 it must be difficult to take a time out when you need it. Having some space to yourself to slowly get fit and regain your strength sounds like a good plan.
A bottle of red always sounds like a nice way to relax to me, we always have a good supply in the cellar, just in case:)
Take care
Djinnie
Joined: Feb 2013
djinnie...soooooo jealous of
djinnie...soooooo jealous of you living in france!! fab food and even better wine!!! heading to italy in a few weeks for some r&r and lots of chianti ;-)
eims x
Joined: Apr 2013
Italy
Hi Eims,
I love Italy, where are you going? The sunshine will do you the power of good. It is in short supply here so far, we keep toying with the idea of heading down south for a bit.
If you are going anywhere near Lake Como I can recommend a great wine cavern, run by (non other than) Toni! When you get in there you forget to come out..lol.
Djinnie x
Joined: Feb 2013
we are heading to cavallino
we are heading to cavallino on the adriatic...can't wait now.....i will need another seat coming home because of all the lovely food too ;-)
Joined: Jan 2013
Italy..
Do you need someone to carry your luggage..?? I was in Italy back in like 1986.. loved it. Oh the wine... yes the wine.. OK, so I was with this tour group, and all the meals were arranged.. So I am seated at a table with a couple that do not drink wine..! They started us with a nice bottle of white wine and then a red with dinner.. Oh, yes I DID drink both bottles..!!! Thanks for reminding me of a great time..! Have fun..!
Ron
Joined: Apr 2013
Italy
I bet you asked to be seated with that couple every meal time!! What a gift...lol.
Djinnie
Joined: Apr 2013
Italy
How beautiful! You are so right, great food, good wine, sunshine! What more could you want. If that doesn't refresh you nothing will.......maybe put the fitness thing off for a few weeks then!!! Lol.
Djinnie x
Joined: Apr 2013
Good choice.
Me and the family are driving down to Scardovari, also at the Adriatic, but much further north.
/G
Joined: Apr 2013
Scardovari
How lovely, how long does it take you to drive there?
Djinnie
Joined: Apr 2013
20 hours if non-stop, roughly
But we usually make a stop-over in southern Germany (I live in Copenhagen) :-)
/G
Joined: Apr 2013
20 hours drive
Not that much difference to us then, I think it is around 16 hours from here. We normally have a couple of stops though, usually one in Annecy.
Hope you have a great time, if the weather in Copenhagen is anything like here you will be craving the sunshine.
Djinnie
Joined: Feb 2013
one year i would love to hire
one year i would love to hire a camper and drive somewhere but i am terrified of ferries!!! it would have to be to holyhead in wales and then drive to dover....the shortest time on a ferry with a valium or two would be ok....lol
Joined: Apr 2013
Irish Ferry Trip
The Christmas before last we came back from Ireland on the ferry. We travelled to the port in the most awful weather. When checking the shipping forecasts all ferries including Brittany Ferries were cancelled. We were booked on Celtic Link as they were the only ones sailing from Ireland to France in the winter. At the port we discovered that they intended to sail, I went to the desk to query this, bearing in mind that there were gale force winds and high seas, I was assured that they would not sail if it was not safe.
You know what the Irish Sea is like in the best of weather, always rough. Anyway we were not long out of port when the waves hit and the bow reared up off the water and came crashing back down. In no time at all anything that was not secured started fly around us. Christmas trees, decorations, chairs you name it. It was a night ferry, my husband, for the first time in his life got sea sick so he went back to the cabin. I was too scared to go down to the cabin so I stayed chatting to the lorry drivers, they said they had never sailed in such bad weather conditions before, quite a few were scared silly. They stayed up all night hanging on to the rails on the stairwell for stability, chain smoking, I stayed with them because it wasn't safe to move, I must have inhaled a pack of twenty that night, the smoke was so dense. The trip took nineteen hours, it was probably the most terrifying experience of my life.
I love travelling on Brittany Ferries across to England, but you would never get me to cross the Atlantic up into the Irish Sea again, not even with a couple of bottles of vodka inside me. I hope that has allayed your fears some...lol. The Welsh route is a much better option.
Djinnie x
Joined: Feb 2013
djinnie thats exactly what i
djinnie thats exactly what i would be afraid of!!! i think the fast ferry to holyhead is the only option for me 1.30 hours and then drive down to dover and id be ok from there!!!
eims x
Joined: Apr 2013
I agree and the P&O Ferries
I agree and the P&O Ferries and Brittany Ferries have all been modernized, they really are a comfortable way to travel. The roads over here are so easy to drive on, never any congestion problems as long as you take the routes around the major towns.
Djinnie
Joined: Feb 2013
djinnie if you are passing
djinnie if you are passing this way again pleeeeeeeeeeease let me know....
eims xxx
Joined: Apr 2013
I certainly will, thanks! We
I certainly will, thanks! We were in Tipperary, we had a great Christmas there....but if I am coming back it will be through Wales. My husband would not mind that though he was born there.
Djinnie
Joined: Feb 2013
you gotta do the west coast
you gotta do the west coast next time...
eims x
Joined: Apr 2013
Funny you should say that, a
Funny you should say that, a fella we met in the local was from the west coast. He had some beautiful pictures on his phone of various places. He recommended quite a few, I have them written down somewhere. We were visiting family the last time but we would like to see more of Ireland when we get the chance.
I like your photo, where was it taken?
Djinnie
Joined: Feb 2013
it was taken in nyc on st
it was taken in nyc on st patricks weekend....brought my little dude because he is obsessed with the place
Joined: Apr 2013
NYC
Hi Eims,
I bet you had a great time, they really push the boat out on St Patricks Day. My daughter has been working in NY for the past couple of years now,she prefers it to London. We all stayed there for a week before we sailed back to the UK, we really enjoyed ourselves.
Djinnie x
Joined: Apr 2013
It is nice to here of
It is nice to here of everyone's plans for holidays. As soon as I get my treatment, surgery etc sorted out would love to plan a short break, not sure where yet but would love to head to Europe to see a few more places that I have always wanted to see, Italy high on the list as is another trip to France. Visited Paris with my husband and daughter before he started treatment for his illness, but didn't get to see anymore of France. As it is such a long trip from Australia probably not an option at this time :-( . Maybe back to Bali. Anyway something to look forward to!!!
Joined: Apr 2013
Holidays
Hi Sue,
When is your operation scheduled? I hope you are not having to wait too long. Planning a holiday will do you good, it will give you something to focus on. I would love to go to Bali, I have seen lots of photos of it, two of my friends went there on there honeymoon. It looks beautiful and all that wonderful sunshine. I know with you living in Australia that probably isn't a bonus, but we are getting foot rot over here. It has been rain and wind and then wind and rain, I am beginning to despair of summer ever arriving at all this year. So Bali sounds like a plan to me!
Djinnie x
Joined: Apr 2013
I see thyroid surgeon in June
I see thyroid surgeon in June 4 to schedule surgery. Until then still don't know what my treatment will be particularly, for the spine met. Further scan to be done. the weather here in Sydney is horrible today, it has rained for about 24 hours and getting quite cold as we head to winter.
Joined: Feb 2013
sue we are supposed to be
sue we are supposed to be heading towards summer but it is BALTIC here :-(
eims x
Joined: Apr 2013
We have had some fabulous
We have had some fabulous weather here since the end of summer, very warm and sunny days. We really need the rain so will suck it up and enjoy it for the next few days and then hopefully back to some nicer weather. Hopefully all you people in the northern hemisphere get to have some better weather soon.
Joined: Feb 2013
If I had my way . . .
you would need another seat going, for ME! Chalk me up as utterly jealous!
Joined: Apr 2013
Well...
...its a seven seat mpv and were a family of five. So if you and the mrs by sudden divine intervention wake up in Copenhagen around July 13, give me a call :-D
/G
Joined: Jan 2013
Wales
I love Wales..! I have made 3 bike trips all over the UK, and Wales is a favorite.. For those that do not know, as you ride (or drive) in to Wales the road signs are in two languages, then you only get Welsh.. I love it..!! AARRAFFF..! that means stop..! (i think I have it spelled right.. or does it matter..?? heh). The coast line is awesome, and the people are friendly... I have some great memories of riding through Wales..!
And as I go to the IOM, the ferry is mostly good.. just expensive compared to ferries going from the east coast to that big continent... Heck I plan to be on that ferry boat mid August..! Will be a fun time..!!
Ron :)
Joined: Apr 2013
Wales
Hi Ron,
You certainly get around with that bike of yours! Wales is lovely and the language colourful, the stop sign is a good indication but what about the village named:-
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch ......
....try saying that after a few bevvies.
It translates to " St Mary's Church in the hollow of the white hazel near a rapid whirlpool and the Church of St. Tysilio of the red cave" very succinct.
Djinnie
Joined: Oct 2012
Translation
I thought it meant "Save the Whales". :)
Joined: Apr 2013
Lost in Translation
lol!!... Very good!!
Djinnie
Joined: Nov 2009
Wales...Whales???
I was at the bar the other night with a friend having some beers. We had been there a while when two rather large ladies came up to the bar and ordered drinks. I noticed when they ordered they both had strong accents so I said ‘Hi, are you two gals from Scotland?’ One of them spoke up, with quite an attitude and said ‘it’s WALES you idiot!!!’
So I immediately said ‘Sorry, are you two Whales from Scotland?’
The doc says I should be able to see fine again in a few days after the swelling goes down.
Joined: Apr 2013
A whale of a joke
Ha ha ha! Good one Gary!! Was it swelling of the eyes though? Only the Welsh tend to be very short!
Djinnie
Joined: Jan 2013
Wales, Not..!
OK, here is a pic of a bunch of us guys in 2000 on the IOM, at Laxey.. I am third from the left..
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