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taking dad back to the hospital

Posts: 36
Joined: Mar 2013

My sister and I have made the decision to take my father back to the hospital. Now besides his weakness, he is running a fever of 101 degrees. Its has become painfully obvious that we are unable to provide him with the help he needs. Neither her or myself have been able to sleep at all the last week, and it is making us less and less effective in providing him assistance. With the development of the fever , we felt like that was the line that wa going to be drawn, and have therefore decided to take him back to the hospital. I have never heard of radical prostatectomy patients having the amount of difficulties he is having, unless they were generally older men 75 years or  older. The doctor said he wouod have recomended dad for either radiation or active surveilance if he had been 73 instead of 63 for example. And he's had nothing but misery out of his catheter, it leaks pourously, and his bed clothes and pants have to be changed anywhere from 3-5 times a day, and that's even with urine pads being placed on his bed. Starting to wonder if this surgeon was just anxious to do the surgery, instead of going with other options with lesser liklihood of short term complications,  but then again, he did let dad make that choice on his own, and even asked him if he wanted more time to decide on what to do, but dad made up his mind that day and chose surgery.  They had did some preadmission testing to be sure it was safe to proceed, and I guess the results told thdm it was safe. I just don't know. I honestly don't know what to do right now, and my sister and I both are extremely exhausted, especially mentally.

Kongo's picture
Posts: 1166
Joined: Mar 2010

I think you're doing the smart thing.  It is not uncommon for a patient to develop infections following major surgery and the temperature and other conditions you've described since your father's RP could be symptoms that he is suffering from an infection that could become quite serious if not treated.

There is no sense in second guessing your father's treatment choices at this point.  You don't get a Mulligan on this and your father must go fowrward from here but it is something that all men should consider when deciding about treatment choices.  Surgery for prostate cancer is rarely a "we have to do this today" type of decision and there is usually time to consult with other specialists to get a variety of opinions to help you make your choice.  Many specialists have radically different opinions on what the best treatment actions are but if you don't hear them all you will never know what else could have been.

I do hope your father improves quickly.





VascodaGama's picture
Posts: 3366
Joined: Nov 2010


I am sorry for what is happening to your dad. The fever may be due to infection and you doing it well to request assistance at the hospital.

In your past post you commented about the follow-up consultation with his surgeon (a few days ago). I am surprised that the doctor did not find something abnormal at the time, to admit him back to the hospital. Regarding the leaking, it could be due to bad fit or bad setting. A laying position when sleeping it is easy at causing the leaks. You may request them to replace the catheter with a newer one or to move it to check for improvements.

The worst side effect of a prostatectomy is incontinence. I hope that the case is not your father's but many patients have to endure it for life. In any case, the surgery is done and there is no point in thinking about "wrong choices" of treatment. Probably your dad is now cancer free, which was the main purposes of the operation.  SmileSmile
Your dad needs now to concentrate in ways to improve his situation, regarding the weakness and fever.

Surely the best place where to seek for help is at the hospital where your dad was treated but if in doubt of their good practice, you can look for help in another hospital treating PCa patients. You can indeed look for second opinions on the status of your father.

Your dad is very fortunate for having you and your sister at his side. You are doing it well.

Best wishes for complete recovery.



Posts: 36
Joined: Mar 2013

Bad news guys. Was getting readh to take him to the hospital and he collapsed going to the car. Called 911 and they took him to our local hospital tonstabilize him and run tests and scans. Cat scans showed blood clots in both lungs so he was given a round ofbheparin and transferred ton a hospital that has a cardiopulmonary care unit. He is in SICU now recieving more heparin to try to bust the clots. My biggest poat surgery fear has become a eeality. Just about beside myself because now I know I could lose him at any instant should either one of those clots travel further or grow. I'm preparing myself for the worst. Unfortunatly with it being a critical care unit I can only be in the room at the scheduled visiting hours.  The rest of the time I have to stay in the sicu waiting area. I still cannot get the image of him being crumpled on the ground out of my head. That wssbtruely traumatizing. Went into a panic attack due to all of this, and my anxiety disorder makes it very difficult for me to cope.

Posts: 69
Joined: Mar 2013

Hoping your dad feels better soon. Getting him to the hospital was good. At least he's getting the care he needs now. 

thinking of your dad, all the best

Rakendra's picture
Posts: 198
Joined: Apr 2013

I am sorry about your father.  When disaster after disaster hits, it is very upsetting, to say the least.  But there are two situations here, that of your father and that of yours.  You can only support your father, be with him and pray for his condition to improve, but there are steps that you may be able to take to make the situation less strenuous for you and your sister.  Look at changing your mind set a bit.  Try to accept your father's situation as it is.  It is difficult not to be judgemental by thinking,"This is really bad".   Acceptance of "what is" with your father's situation may help you.  "What is" is that your father is very ill, and nothing will change that immediately.  Do not think in terms of "bad or good".  Acceptance would be a very positive step right now.  Do everything you can, but let the judgement and worry go.  It is difficult to do, but you can try staying in the moment, watch your breathing and try to adopt an attitude of gratitude instead of disaster.  You have had much love for him and from him, and you have enjoyed many moments of happiness with him in the past.  Think of that and be grateful, not of  just focusing on the the present situation only.  There has been much more in your experience that what is going on now.  Try sitting and breathing deeply.  Think, "I have done everything possible to help my beloved father.  Now, I can serve him best by being positive, accepting, and loving and caring for myself.  All of this is a part of life, and I accept it with gratitude along with all that I and my father have been given." 

If you wish it to be another way, you will suffer.  Suffering is always the result of resistance to what is.  You have done the very best you can for your father.  It is important to stay strong and centered at this time.  Credit yourself that you are doing all possible to support him.  And, try to let go of wanting things to be different.  You are doing everything you can to support him, but perhaps you can find more effective ways to support you and your sister.  Love, Rakendra

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