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Johnnybegood Is Here

wolfen's picture
Posts: 1329
Joined: Apr 2009

She & her hubby got in around 8 this morning. We have been at the hospital all day & have come home for her to rest a bit & take meds.

The pulmonogolist talked to us & said he could remove the tube, but chances are he could not breathe & with most other systems failing, he would not last. I explained to Ron that if the tube was removed, he couldn't breathe & he shook his head no. He was surprised & glad to see JBG. She is taking this very hard.

The pallative care team also talked to us & said we could make the decision to put him in a Hospice facility or bring him home with hospice assistance. The chances are very slim that he will recover, but we asked them to give him some more time, just to try. His mind is all there, just fuzzy at times. If the decison is made to contiue care indefinitely, he will have to have a trach & go to a nursing facility forever.  Otherwise, no ventilator and he would expire fairly soon. It's just too soon to decide what to do. He is comfortable, or as much as he can be plugged up to everything and I know he's not ready to throw in the towel.

This is so hard. My heart is breaking and I just can't let go, yet. As we all do for one another, I'm praying for a miracle. Perhaps he will be the one to make the decision, but who really knows if he fully understands.

We'll grab a bite to eat & head back soon.

I love all of you.


herdizziness's picture
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010


This just breaks my heart. I was there once in that position with my dear little brother.

There is no hurry in you and yours decision, I pray for a miracle for you all as well.  As long as he's in fighting mode there is some hope.

I'm glad JBG made it there safe and sound and that she is with you.

My heart is with all of you.

love to you,

Winter Marie


AnnLouise's picture
Posts: 276
Joined: Mar 2013

I am glad JBG and husband got there safely and are there for you. So much for you to think about and decisions to make.....if it seems too soon, it probably is. I don't have any good advice or solutions but I am thinking about you and your family. Hope you have a meaningful evening together. ~ Ann

fatbob2010's picture
Posts: 467
Joined: May 2012


I am so sorry that you are in this difficult and what must be a seemingly impossible situation.  I hope that you, Ron and JBG can find peace at some point.  ((HUGS))  Art

Maxiecat's picture
Posts: 544
Joined: Jul 2012

you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this very difficult part of his life.  try to get some rest as best as you can...and make sure JBG takes care of herself too.  You all need to be strong for each other.




Posts: 199
Joined: Nov 2012

Your post made me cry.  I can only imagine how hard this is for you and your family.  I am praying for you.


Posts: 199
Joined: Nov 2012

double post

Annabelle41415's picture
Posts: 6709
Joined: Feb 2009

Your post has me so sad.  First, I'm glad that lovely daughter made it home ok, but sorry for the reason she is home.  You hubby has to make a big decision and you've been at his side for all of this.  I'm sorry that he is going through all that he is.  Just can't tell you how much you, as a caregiver, are such an inspiration.  Praying for the best.

Hugs! Kim

Lovekitties's picture
Posts: 3372
Joined: Jan 2010

I am so very glad that JBG and her hubby got there safely. 

Yes, it is so very hard to be in the situation of determining how to proceed.  I am praying that there will soon be a sign to help you to feel in your heart which is the right one. 

Please take care of you and make sure JBG's hubby takes care of her.

Prayers for the miracle you are hoping for, but know if it does not happen, you have done all humanly possible for your dear hubby.

Hugs and love,

Marie who loves kitties


Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

Hi Wolfen

So pleased that JBG arrived safely and that you now have some company. I am praying that you will get your miracle.


KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I am so happy that she arrived safely!  I have been sending safe thoughts to her the whole way, as have many others.

My heart is breaking, as well, dear one!  You are so wise that for the moment, giving him the right to fight.  From my experience (and only a few times, at that), I have found that a seriously ill patient at some point becomes peaceful and stops the struggle.  That is the right time to consider other options...in my opinion.  My mom was overheard to say, from her faraway place (almost comatose) "Mother, please take me home".  She became alert for a few hours, and then passed peacefully.

I know it is devastating to imagine the world without him, dearest friend, but you are also wise to not want to keep him here at all costs.  What dignity you are giving to him!

I believe that we all have a list of things to accomplish in our lives.  This list is not made by us, and we do not know what is on it, or how much more there is for us to do before we are allowed to go on.  As I stopped breathing from a severe reaction to one of my chemotherapies, I saw (or so I believe) what is waiting for me.  It is a bright, peaceful place, with a warm glow about it.  I hold that image with me now...and remind myself that when my list is complete, I am done and will be allowed to go on to this place.  Maybe this place is just a spot in other people's hearts.  I do not know.

I wish for a miracle (they do happen). I wish him peace.  And you also my dearest friend....

Love to you and JBG and your darling Ron.  Kathi

Trubrit's picture
Posts: 5453
Joined: Jan 2013

What a lovely true and honest post. 

I have been in the position when I wanted to give up, but the surgery I had at that time saved my life. 

There is a time when you have to ask yourself if the pain and sorrow of the fight is worth it. 

Great post, Kathi.

LivinginNH's picture
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010



I am so thankful that JBG has arrived safely. And I am certain that your dear husband is comforted by having you both by his side.



thxmiker's picture
Posts: 1282
Joined: Oct 2010

We are glad your family is together.  The strength of the family is powerful.  We are sending our prayers and good thoughts to add to the strength.


Best Aways,  mike n laurie

Sundanceh's picture
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009


This is not the way I envisioned it many moons ago...but I am grateful that all of you are there together in the same room, though I wish it were under much different circumstances....

You know how much I was trying to get you guys together before things began to turn...and this was the reason why.  So, this leaves my heart heavy to read of your news...but still very glad that you are all together during this most difficult time. 

May your time spent together as a family be filled with memories that will last a lifetime:)


johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

just a short post to tell everyone thank you so much for your support and please keep the prayers coming for wolfen my mother.as she is not strong in faith as i am and i believe this is the reason for our short and loving reunion.my stepdad looks so frail and i know a better place is awaiting him but i know my mom is not ready for this decision as it is so hard on all of us.i can feel the stress of this is not good for my health but right now i need to be by my mothers side if it is only for a few days as hubby has to get back to work.please keep yor prayers coming that our family will finally reach some peace from this nightmare.hugs to all and Godbless...johnnybegood

Posts: 1428
Joined: Feb 2011

Thinking of you,  and prayers coming your way.   

Sundanceh's picture
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

I'm so glad that you and Mom are together once more .....this is all that I've wanted for a very long time...and I take some comfort from that in the midst of your family struggles.  Knowing you are all standing as ONE together....I've been a little teary about this as I've been thinking about it.  

I was hardening back up....but your story has softened me:) 

All of us are sitting in our virtual waiting rooms with all of you right now:) 

Big hugs! 


KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

You say is so well!!!

Family and friends are what it's all about...and, our extended family here makes it even bigger!


Hugs, Kathi

lesvanb's picture
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

complete with horse hair.


Love, Leslie

annalexandria's picture
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

Went through this with my MIL and it was terrible.  I'm so sorry you all have to go through this, Wolfen (and JBG), but I'm glad that you are getting a little time together.  That time will in the future have a value beyond gold.  Many hugs~AA

Posts: 2215
Joined: Oct 2011

I dont know what to say. Just please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

maglets's picture
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

oh Johnny sending you fondest love.....please look after yourself dear friend and give your mom a hug....

prayers for all of you

best love, mags

Trubrit's picture
Posts: 5453
Joined: Jan 2013

I am so sorry that your dear husband is struggling to the last. May he find peace in that his family is all around him. 

Wolfen. What a heartbreaking stuggle this must be for you too. None of us want to lose the ones we love best.

My prayers will be constant for all of you. 

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 827
Joined: May 2011

So glad that you are together. Prayers, strength, and peace. Know you have a whole community of friends here pulling for you .


Cathleen Mary

lesvanb's picture
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

Indeed there is no hurry



sharpy102's picture
Posts: 371
Joined: Apr 2009

I don't have advice, I really don't. I've gone through it as a caregiver myself. But I do wish you and your husband the best, and if it feels early that is because it is early. I hope you guys can enjoy some good times ahead!!! I'm not a believer, so I cannot pray for you, but I will be in the background crossing my fingers!

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