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Somewhat Discouraged

wolfen's picture
Posts: 1329
Joined: Apr 2009

I know you've all been there. It's just so heartbreaking to see my once strong, fearless husband unable to even stand on his own. He is really struggling. He was given an Ambien for sleep last night. He was again semi-concious & hallucinating most of today, so Ambien is definitely on the NO list. He is still getting antibiotics and the Ascites is back, so will be getting an ultrasound tomorrow, more platelets, and fluid withdrawl if ultrasound indicates necessity. WBC is up to 12, but patelets remain low at 28. There is some discussion of putting him in a long term care facility.(Preceded by the question "Do you have long term care insurance? NO) He told the girl to dig his grave as he won't go into a home. I want to bring him home, but I can't get him up, so depending on his future progress, I may ask my grandson to stay here and help us. There is also Home Health, which would probably make daily visits for a couple of weeks. We will work it out somehow.

JBG called tonight & brightened my day. She is doing well on her new chemo dosage. Her message to her stepdad is "Tough it up and get out of the hospital". He'll probably listen to her, just not me.  LOL

Prayers & good vibes welcome.



PhillieG's picture
Posts: 4912
Joined: May 2005

I'm so sorry to hear about this. It must be very difficult for you as well as your husband. Cancer affects everyone, not just those who actually have it. Thankfully you've found a forum where you can find support and I know I'm thankfull to have your support and that of others.

Your husband and you are in my thoughts...


Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

I am very sorry about all of this. I know what it's like to watch a once strong husband become helpless. Seeing them suffer is the worse part. I know what its like to walk the halls of the hospital in a complete daze. Feeling totally helpless. To look at my husband and feel like he's a different person. Steve has been in this state numerous times throughout the past two years. Each time it has turned around and he has recovered. Although, I do know that one day he will not. Hopefully that day is far away. I so hope that it turns around for your husband. I hope he gets strong and comes home and returns to that big, strong husband that you've known all these years.


Sundanceh's picture
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

I'd like to talk to you:)

Hugs until then!

Lovekitties's picture
Posts: 3372
Joined: Jan 2010

Dear Wolfen,

My heart goes out to you and your dear hubby.  Have you checked with Medicare to see what assistance might be possible in addition to Home Health?  Perhaps there are some mobility items, hospital bed, etc. which could make it easier to bring him home.  Also, check to see what they might do for a nurse or nursing assitant.

I can understand the reluctance about going to a nursing home.  That is last option on the list for many.

Continuing prayers and hope that he can improve enough to get him home again.


Marie who loves kitties

AnnLouise's picture
Posts: 276
Joined: Mar 2013

I am so sorry both of you are going through this....I have been there, just try to remember it will get better although it is hard to think of now. You have been so wonderful and strong. Having your grandsoah help may be a good solution, I am sure you would enjoy him and he could be a huge help to both of you. Thinking of you and wishing the best.....~Ann

angelsbaby's picture
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

go out to your husband and uand your family aww im sorry hes not feelin well




Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2013

Hi Wolfen, You need to be strong and keep a posative attitude around him, this will transfer to his thinking!!!  his step daughter sounds like my old hockey coach and she is right get your head in the game.I have seen some unbelievable things with posative thinking,, my prayers and thoughts will be with you. 

Ralph D

YoVita's picture
Posts: 590
Joined: Mar 2010

I've read your posts over the years in support of your daughter and husband.  You've always handled your challenges with grace and strength.  I'm sorry your husband is struggling.  I've never had to experience this with my husband - so no advice.  Just best wishes and good vibes your way.  Vita

KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

can you feel them?  Warm and soft and strong.....

It is nasty when you find out a 'popular' drug can have such devastating side effects.  My beau was given Ativan after a procedure, and he stopped breathing for 3 minutes.  2 days later in the hospital, the nurse tried to give it again (my beau was in a drug-induced coma) and I (I try to stay with him)...came UNGLUED!!!!  Nastily, I said "The hospital staff already tried once to kill him, are you trying to finish the job??????!!!!!!".  

I apologized later, poor nurse, and he became my ally....but it was such a nightmare!!!

Hugs, Kathi

bigman4christ's picture
Posts: 87
Joined: Oct 2012

Hi Wolfen, i am so sorry that you are going through this extremly rough time in your life!  I often think about those last days that i might have someday and hope and pray that my wife is as strong as you to want to be there with me eventhough it is so difficult.  I will be praying that God will give you and your husband the strength to make it through this rough time in your lifes!


Annabelle41415's picture
Posts: 6706
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry to hear that he is having such problems.  It would be wonderful if you could get your grandson to help out.  You have a lot on your plate as well with all you have been going through.  You both are in my prayers along with your lovely daughter.  You need your strength very much right now so please remember to take care of yourself.

Hugs!  Kim

karguy's picture
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

I'm sorry to hear about your husband,I think it would be a good idea to have your grandson help out.I hope he gets better,and stronger.I will pray for you.

annalexandria's picture
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

this is just too much for any one person to bear.  It's overwhelming being the caregiver sometimes.  Wish I lived nearby so I could bring you some hot soup or take you out for a cup of coffee.  You know if this board was a local support group, you'd never get rid of us!  Pls do try to get whatever outside help you can.  I know your husband may not want "strangers" involved in his care (my dad had a fit about that when we needed to get extra help), but it really can make a big difference, at least help you keep your sanity a little bit longer.  Big hugs coming your way~AA

thingy45's picture
Posts: 633
Joined: Apr 2011

dear wolfed,

hugs, prayers, vibes, healing and loving lights, all are coming your way, if I could I would be on your doorstep to help.

Caregiving is one of the hardest jobs I know, but receiving care and asking for help is also difficult.

hugs, Marjan 

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