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Need advice about social worker

Pumakitty's picture
Posts: 652
Joined: Mar 2010

Hi everyone,


Thank you so much for the responses about my awful luck.  I think I have the truck issue undercontrol.  Now here is my next issue.

When I went to see my dad yesterday the social worker pounced on me.  She told me dad was not improving, had all sorts of issues, there was no way that he could come home and mom and I care for him.  She acted like I had not been in the room at all or at therapy with him and that I had no idea what assistance he needed.  She also acted like it was horrible that my mother is not there everyday and that I work.  She also said that dad is refusing his meds and feedings.

I tried to explain to her that my mother is not there every day because she does not drive, and I do not have the gas money to run all the way home after work every day before and after work.  There has not been one day since he went to rehab that I have not been there.  I have been to therapy with him at least 3 ot 4 times.  I also explained that I am the main source of income in our household so I need to work.

After talking with her I went in to see dad. He was wonderful.  He had been to therapy both times that day.  Was feeling good.  He did not do his feeding that morning but waited until after he got out of therapy.  He gets his feeding at 9:00 and they start therapy at 9:45.  He said waiting until later helped.  I also noticed on the board that the therapist had changed his information from 2 people helping to 1 person assist.  I called the nurse that night and she told me he was doing better every day.

So my question is what do I do about the conflicting stories I am getting from the social worker, nurse and therapist.  I feel like the social worker has a problem with me.  She has not done one thing to help us get ready except fax some papers for medicaid. 

Any suggestions at this point will help.









fishmanpa's picture
Posts: 1216
Joined: Jan 2013

"What do I do about the conflicting stories I am getting from the social worker, nurse and therapist?"

What about an appointment with all present and accounted for including your Dad? Nothing like a bit of candor and "upfrontness" can't handle ;)~


longtermsurvivor's picture
Posts: 1845
Joined: Mar 2010

I am a very direct person, as for me, that's the only way to handle this type of situation.  Straight up.  I'd start by going right back and sitting down for another visit with the social worker.  Perhaps I'd take that nurse into my confidence first and talk through with her the conflicting statments from the social worker and the pressure you are feeling from her to get the nurses advice.  But I'd lay the cards on the table, and I wouldn't appologize for anything, nor would I behve in a defensive way.  That social worker is there to assist you, not to criticize you, and unless this can be resolved and she move forward as an ADVOCATE, Id then go rightt over her head and talk to her supervisor.  There's no need for this.  Be nice, but be assertive, and get this person in line with the program.



Posts: 1914
Joined: May 2012


Can you check and see if they do a care plan with tx's and progress ?  Most in-patient PT programs do.  This is where everyone involved with your Father's care meets to discuss things.  You and your Mother should always be included in this process.  We had a few issues also w/my Mother's inpatient PT after her stroke.  The difference was she had a small army backing her.  We were a family of 8, with 16 grown grandchildren.  Yes, please don't feel the need to get defensive.....this person was out of line !  And sometimes they need to be called on it.  You and your Mother are doing the best you can.  Hopefully working with the system you can pull in some help, that will be covered under your Fathers insurance.  Anything we can help with as far as direction, let us know !   Hugs sent !   Katie

Pumakitty's picture
Posts: 652
Joined: Mar 2010

They do have meetings every Tuesday and they told us we do not need to be there.  I plan to next week.  Today I get a call from the oncologist asking why dad missed his appointment.  The rehab doctor had made an appointment for dad to follow up about the CT scan.  I never said anything about it to me or dad.  I am not sure how they thought he was going to make it to the appointment since he was still in rehab.

They also said dad has poor cognitive skills, he was not able to hear all of the test the speech therapist gave him, so they decided poor cognitive skills.



Tim6003's picture
Posts: 1511
Joined: Nov 2011

My management experience tells me no need to even talk further with her except to "dimiss" her (as in fire her).  I realize that may not be the correct term (or politically correct) but the bottom line is she is to be there for your Dad AND his family, you are the family!

Don't ignore or accept any longer the 800lb gorilla in the room.  Speak with her supervisor and ask for  a change of guard.  Even print up and show her this thread so she will know you are sincere.  As others said, be nice, but be frank. :)

Keep us posted.


Pumakitty's picture
Posts: 652
Joined: Mar 2010

I am scheduled to meet with the team (social worker, dr. and therapist) tomorrow at 1:00.  They wanted my mom to go but I am not putting her through that.  She would have a total breakdown if she heard them say those things about dad.  I am the main caregiver so that is what they are going to have to settle with.

I have made a list of things that have upset me and also a list of everything mom and I have done to prepare for dad and also what we have done for him in the past. 

It amazes me that they say is not doing better and needs more therapy, yet they always take him out for test or this stupid meeting when he should be going to therapy.

This is a real pain in my butt.  I am trying to deal with them and my insurance company.  I also found another truck and I can look at it on Friday. 

Then on Monday mom and I have to go to the training with PT.  That I am looking forward to.  I like them.



debbiejeanne's picture
Posts: 3095
Joined: Jan 2010

katt, wishing u the very best of luck with everything you're dealing with.  i will keep my fingers crossed and say a prayer for you.

God bless,


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