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Such a hard night

VivianLee5689's picture
Posts: 546
Joined: Aug 2012

I am having a very hard Night.  David has been hallucinating on and off since 2:00 today. Then tonight when he was praying it started out fine and then his mind was somewhere else. I just started weeping. About that time the nurse came in. She is really worried about me. The nurse before her was worried about me and I am just so worried about David.  He has been through so much. If God isnt going to heal him I am praying for mercy.  losing his mind is his worse fear. 

wolfen's picture
Posts: 1313
Joined: Apr 2009

You should not have to be there alone. Couldn't your mom or a friend come and sit with you? I am wrapping my arms around you. This is too much to bear alone. If no one close to you is available, maybe there is a clergy person at the hospital or another staff member that can sit with you.

I just feel so terrible for you.



Billie67's picture
Posts: 843
Joined: Jul 2012

I am so sad for you right now. I don't like that you are left to do this alone. I wish I was near you, I would be there in a heartbeat. I will not stop praying for a miracle but I too will ask for mercy if that is what's to be.

Is he on meds that would cause the hallucinations? I realize the scan showed spots on the brain but I'm just wondering if the confusion is caused by one thing or the other, or both?
Ugh I'm so sorry Vivian, so sorry.

With love,

VivianLee5689's picture
Posts: 546
Joined: Aug 2012

No the hallucinations appear to be due to the Brain lesions. He is getting some dexemethasone which helps, but it is absolutely devestating. I don't know how long he has left. We talked about a living will and his funeral while he was lucid today. It is hard. 

phrannie51's picture
Posts: 4673
Joined: Mar 2012

that we all could take turns coming and being with you during this scary time....things change so fast, you can't get any bearings...no place to firmly put a foothold for a while.  You are never out of my thoughts, dear girl....


VanessaSLO's picture
Posts: 283
Joined: Jul 2012

I don't post lately but I read your journal on caringbridge and posts here on this board. I pray for you and David to be spared of this pain and sorrow. I pray to God that he saves both of you. I can't even imagine how it might be staying with your loved one and knowing you can't help much...  So I pray for the strength and peace in both of your hearts!

NJShore's picture
Posts: 423
Joined: Nov 2012


I agree, if there is anyone you can call and say help, please do. What you are doing on your own is amazing, but if you don't have to do this alone, please don't. I so wish I could jump on a plane and get down there to be there for you.

I am so sorry you are going through this and so sorry that David has this horrible disease.


Pumakitty's picture
Posts: 652
Joined: Mar 2010



My heart is breaking for you.  I also wish I could be there to support you.  Please know that you are always in my thougths and prayers.





rachel12yrsuv's picture
Posts: 435
Joined: Feb 2013

Oh Vivian,

Just like the others I wish you weren't there alone. If I knew you were near me I would come and hold you why you you cry. I will continue to pray either for a miracle you ask for or the mercy if that is Gods choice. My heart and thoughts and prayers are with you.



debbiejeanne's picture
Posts: 3095
Joined: Jan 2010

dear vivian, i'm so sorry you have to go thru this and especially alone.  you and your husband are in my thots and prayers

God bless,


Ingrid K's picture
Ingrid K
Posts: 813
Joined: Mar 2011


so sorry to hear this latest news.  However, I will continue to pray for a miracle.

I wish I had my own plane, I would stop and pick everyone up on the way so we could each spend time with you.

Cancer sucks.....and for some more than others.


Skiffin16's picture
Posts: 8286
Joined: Sep 2009

Prayers are with you....

You really need to find some support for you.... Family, friends, church, co-workers...organizarions...

You need to find it so you can be whole and not have problems yourself...


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