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Winter Marie and MWNN

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 631
Joined: Jan 2010

I took this out of the lovely "bright sparks" posts and wanted to start anew here ...

Winter Marie: I think that is so kind of you to offer an apology to MWNN for possible confusion resulting from lack of sleep, steroids, and losing your kitty ... these are all rough things. You are a great example of how the board can go in a positive direction even if a discussion gets heated.  You are an honest person and a feisty lady and a tremendous asset to the board. Did you find that kitty?.  

MWNN: I think any parent of a child struggling with cancer deserves to have support wherever they can get it and I do not mind you being on this board. With this recent discussion, you need to accept that apology from Winter Marie graciously.  I know I sound like your Mama, but, well ... yes, pretend I am your Mama and I have just told you to accept the apology and play nice.

Best to you both,

Cynthia

 

manwithnoname
Posts: 404
Joined: Jun 2012

It's really nice of you to post this, Im not sure Winter has appologised to me, that thread is confusing to say the least, anyway If Winter was the only one that wanted me to leave that wouldn't really be an issue, I feel she has wanted me gone for a loooooong time.

Now Ann wants me gone too, well that's one person too many, I have a lot of respect for her (still) and feel bad for (unintenionally) upsetting her, so to keep the peace Im going.

 

We all have a lot on our plates and fighting like kids doesn't help anyone. 

Now Im suppossed to be cooking..... good luck to you all.

 

BTW that's amazing hair you got Cynth. Wink

jen2012
Posts: 1607
Joined: Aug 2012

If you are going...

we've never had contact but I just wanted to say you are living my biggest fear.  To have a child with cancer is truly my greatest nightmare.   Regardless of the drama here, please know that I keep your boy in my prayers and wish you all well.

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 631
Joined: Jan 2010

all this naturally curly hair has sure gotten some comments :)

Please stay on the board, we will all get past this. 

You know another another thing that might really be helpful ... explaining your relationship to cancer ... sharing the story of your child's cancer journey here on this board would be really valuable.  You have been continously linked to Pete -- but you have your own identity here and voice and reasons for being here that are not connected to Pete.  Perhaps you could share that ... I think it would really help folks relate to you as an individual.  If you could share how the colorectal cancer board is valuable to you, again, separate from responding to Pete's posts that also would help people know you.  And lastly, it might help people to understand that you live in an area of the world strife with conflict and that is not easy to bear. 

Best,

Cynthia

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 4830
Joined: Jan 2013

I was talking to my friend, who has just been diagnosed with CRC, to check out this site. I think I'll now tell her to wait a few weeks, lets some of this nastiness settle down and get back to the real reason people post on here.

SUPPORT! SYMPATHY! KINDNESS! ACCEPTANCE! LOVE!

janie1
Posts: 753
Joined: Apr 2011

I really, really hope this is the reason (and not personality), that there was so much hatred on several of these threads. It was scary hatred, going through old posts and cutting and pasting. Winter Marie did that to me too on the one thread started by Ketziah. Unfortunately it wasn't the correct thread to be cutting and pasting. I am not going to waste precious time trying to prove I'm right, and someone else is wrong. I know who I am, who raised me, and HOW they raised me. I also have a pretty good memory. I was a Stage 4 newbie at the time I got blasted about something so irrelevant.....and you do not forget those things. So please, no one question my memory, or feelings. I also remember every instance when someone is kind. That is what I try to focus on every day. I know a lot of great, inspiring, humble, people. That is why I really don't need to be here. Ketziah i guess called me ignorant. It coincided really well with the subject line.

I only come here to support people, and learn. As i have said numerous times (not that anyone cares....well some do..thanks).... I have exhausted all chemo options and I really appreciate people who look outside the box. They are heroes, too. Tony has provided excellent information. Maybe one can only appreciate that when chemo is NOT an option. I also found a great naturopath, who confirms much of the info Tony brings to the table. It wasn't only until the last 3 months that I was beginning to feel hopeful......yes...stage 4.....hopeful. But is does take due diligence, reading, and most of all...LISTENING. I learn much, much, more with my mouth CLOSED. I feel awful for people who do not listen. They are on a very slippery slope. The sad thing is, they will one day wish that they had not wasted all of that time......that is about the only guarantee that I make in life. That I know as FACT. I was a nurse and I sat and listened to hundreds of people talk about their regrets. That was hard to digest. REALLY hard.

I am going to start an immunotherapy trial which I am really excited about, and I want so much to report good news to give others hope, too. A couple of people have expressed interest, and that's great that they want to learn. But some of us share this kind of information anyway on another forum (no fighting there), so there is no point in me sharing it here. Those of you interested, you've got my email and phone#.

Peace to all of you.

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

I haven't read the other threads yet (haven't even had my 2nd cup of coffee), but I did send a pm to Tony, in response to the one he sent me. I apologized for telling him should leave the forum.  It's not like me to be so unpleasant, and my only excuse is the intensity of the emotions that were stirred up in me by finding that stupid notebook.  I had a nightmare last night about my daughter, so clearly I have a lot of left-over emotions from that time I haven't yet dealt with.  Anyway, I personally would be happy if everyone who wants to be on this board, for whatever reason, makes the choice to stay.

But somehow, we all need to address the tone of our communications.  Online stuff is tricky, with no visual or audible cues, so we have to really think about how we are coming across before we hit that "submit" button.  I was not careful about this yesterday, and I wish I would have been.

I really think that 90% of this conflict is about how we communicate, not what we are comminicating.

Ann Alexandria

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 631
Joined: Jan 2010

it is such a difficult thing to do-say the right thing when there are so many raw emotions spinning in our lives -- not only the ultimate fear of death from cancer but just the on-going medicalization of our lives, discomfort from side-effects, and then all the other just plain practical challenges of family and finances. My own sweet and dear husband has at times semed like a totally different man as he has struggled with his cancer ... I forgive him and everyone here for occasional lapses of temper and judgement.  

Apologizing and moving past the wounding of words in a forum like this is tremendously hard.  Maybe I am a silly old hippie optimist but I think we are progressing forward here past some old hurts.  Opening an honest dialogue seems to have been good. 

Focusing on the tone of our responses is a wonderful goal.  if anyone ever feels I am out of line, please call me on it as it is the only way I can improve my behavior.

Onward and upward,

Cynthia

 

 

Varmint5's picture
Varmint5
Posts: 384
Joined: Feb 2012

Because with my daughter's situation I am a complete basket case these days. I have a very short fuse and seem to have isolated myself from everybody and it's probably best. I am not going to step into the main part of this discussion at all. I don't really read Pete's posts or the responses. Irrelevant to me. So I don't even know a lot of what's going on. I'm lucky to get this darn page to even load. Or reload.

Cynthia, the one thing I want to add is that you DO have amazing, beautiful hair. I love your photo. And your pup. But that hair... wow. I'm jealous.

We are all human and share the totally rotten reason we're all here.

Sandy

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 631
Joined: Jan 2010

may I say that is one adorable little baby you have in your arms.

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 4830
Joined: Jan 2013

 haven't read the other threads yet (haven't even had my 2nd cup of coffee), 

If you plan to read the threads, I'd say skip the 2nd coffee and just get yourself a double Whiskey, casue you'll need it. 

Its very humble of you to apologise. In the long run I think we can pretty much track all our fall outs to the stresses of living with and dealing with cancer. 

The good thing about life, while we have it, is that we can move forward, and we can leave behind the bad stuff, whatever form it takes.

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 631
Joined: Jan 2010

please don't discourage your friend from coming here.  There are wonderful folks who are always ready to be supportive.  Flare-ups occur and we do get through it, every time.  Trying to focus on a goal to pay attention to the tone of our communications here on the board helps us be sensitive and respectful to how we treat others elsewhere in our lives too I think.

Best,

Cynthia

 

Dyanclark's picture
Dyanclark
Posts: 296
Joined: Apr 2012

I am on this board because of my husband.   We need more people here, this is where I go whenever the Dr. gives him new treatment.   I want to know side affects, and what has worked for other people.  I am thinking your friend will need to read what some of these drugs will do and wont do.

I am so happy to have this board, however, I dont read long ranting posts.   I need to have things simple and to the point.  

George & DyanSurprisedKiss

 

Coloncancerblows's picture
Coloncancerblows
Posts: 296
Joined: Feb 2013

Amen!  I can't imagine why anyone would want to post anything negative on this sight.  We should all be here for each other.

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