Coming up on one year since dx, help!!

ncgrl84 Member Posts: 14

My mom (54) was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme IV in April of 2012.  It was so large and so deep that 5 neurosurgeons deemed it nonresectible.  She went through the month of radiation with Temodar, and it didn't even touch the tumor.  One month after stopping radiation, they began giving her Avastin along with Temodar.  Several months into it, mom was having a really hard time with the Temodar, so they stopped it and continued the Avastin alone.  Almost immediately after beginning the Avastin, her tumor shrunk dramatically!!  Even the doctors were shocked that it worked so well with her. 


So here's what I'm dealing with...  Her symptoms are dramitically getting worse, but the MRI's are showing no change.  They found a bit of "dark matter", but they can't tell if it's a shadow or something new... go figure.  Her short term memory is shot and I have to remind her about everything multiple times.  Her memory is a battle in itself.  Most recetly, she's been coming up with these wild stories that the doctor says she's fine and she can drive again, which absolutely is NOT the case.  She's determined she's going to get a job, and she's almost incapable of picking anything up after herself, and she's unbelievably angry.  She blames me for her anger.  She says I'm mean to her all the time (which I'm not).  Immediately afterwards she threatens to go drive or harm herself!  I keep a close eye on her, and she barely walks, so I know she can't harm herself in my care and I'm always around.  My husband lives here too and he and I argue quite often about her care.  He's more passive and thinks I should just ignore her and leave her alone when she picks fights with me.  I, on the other hand, am beginning to think her care is getting too far out of my hands.  I don't know how to handle her anymore and she acts like she hates me.  Everything is an argument with her.  She insists she wants me out of the house, but obviously I can't do that or she'll go into state care. 

What do I do?  Do I keep fighting through this?  Do I have the Oncologist stop her chemo and let her pass?  Do I put her in a home?  I've been caring for her for a year now and it's just becoming too difficult.  I need some serious feedback.  I love her so much, but she's miserable and I don't know how to help her.  I also fear I'm going to lose my marriage over my choice.  He fights me about my moms care.  Legally, I'm her power of attorney, so it's my say in the end.  I just need help making this decision.