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Hit by Semi

BBdogs's picture
Posts: 38
Joined: Jan 2013

Sorry, this is the only place I can say I feel like I have been hit by a semi.  If I say that to family or friends I will have 15 people at my door wanting to brush my teeth for meSmile 

I havent even started radiation & chemo!  Start next week.  In the last two weeks however I have been sedated 5 times, port placement, biopsy, colonoscopy, another biopsy yesterday that they almost didn't do because my wbc count was so high from an infected iv site.  Grrr. 

Am grateful that all I have today is radiological "planning" and tattooing woot woot, wish I could bring my own artist.  Then if all goes as planned a 3 day break from doctors and hospitals.  Yahoo!

Just a little vent, I am good now.

Happy Valentines Day


mp327's picture
Posts: 4105
Joined: Jan 2010

During my time leading up to the start of treatment, I felt a lot like you.  I think it was a combination of things--stress, fear, lack of sleep and all the testing I underwent that I really didn't understand at the time.  Having been sedated so many times in just a short period can take a lot out of you.  Take heart in knowing that once you begin treatment, some of this will ease.  Try to do something special for yourself in the next few days--a massage, lunch with a close friend or whatever makes you happy.  This is all going to be okay!

Posts: 1250
Joined: Oct 2011

Vent away!!!! Sometimes thats just what you need. I remember being so wiped out before treatment started also, its amazing how many appointments are needed to get everything started so to speak! The infection probably hasn't helped matters. Hopefully the 3 day break will be restful!

Will have you in my thoughts and prayers.

Posts: 48
Joined: Dec 2012

I hear ya!  I've been on the run medically since December 14th when I had my Colonoscopy and diagnosis.  Many scans, tests,poked, prodded, and a big surgery on February 1st, and I haven't started treatment yet.  I came back to work for a bit but overall I'm pooped out.  Like you, I have been sedated several times and under anesthesia for a couple of hours for my surgery.  Sometimes my energy level is good and other times I'm just plain tired. I have my tattoo and planning appointment beginning of next week and will start treatment shortly after.  I plan on enjoying my Valentine's Day and have nice plans with my family this weekend. I even got a surprise visit here at work a little while ago.  My 18 year old daughter came to see me.  She's a senior in high school but I let her miss school today.  She works for a candy store and they were on the local news early this morning.  Fun.  She is working all day but made a special trip to see her mom at work today.  Made my morning.  Please try to enjoy your 3 day break.  Best Wishes! Monica

swordranch's picture
Posts: 35
Joined: Feb 2013

As of March 1, I will be one year into this process and I totally understand what you mean by you can't say a lot to other people.  I have found that the more my friends and family hear the harder it is on them thus making it harder on me.  So try to keep a lot to myself.  So here I am butting into other people's conversations...

Posts: 1122
Joined: Aug 2012

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope your day goes well. Enjoy your break before treatments begin! It is great that you have so many loved ones there to help you when you need it! For now, rest up, eat good nutritious food and stay centered!

islandgirlculebra's picture
Posts: 144
Joined: Dec 2012

Hope you enjoy your weekend.... I remember before I started my treatments I went on a three day weekend retreat with a couple of girlfriends...... We all promised when I got through my treatments and was feeling better we would do it again. After the treatments, and then a clean PET scan six months later, we met at the same place again in celebration..... It was wonderful..... Lean on your friends and family, they are such a blessing to get through the tough times!

BBdogs's picture
Posts: 38
Joined: Jan 2013

Tattoing and planning done, I think part of my stress this morning was waking up feeling like crap and having 1,000 things to do. 

I volunteer to work with/foster giant breed dogs and wanted to make sure everyone was (in advance) utd on shots, groomed, etc.  so I would not have to worry about vet appts for the next couple of months. It ended up being a good day because I love spending time with my brood of animals. 

My place of employment, today, decided that instead of working "light-duty" in an administrative capacity I could wear a surgical mask and continue to work where I am.  Now have to decide whether or not to risk that (and it would be an assnine risk) or just take the next couple of months off, don't much like that idea either.   I have taken next week off as I know I can't be in that environment with a bag o' chemo attached so......a decision for another day. 

Thanks, once again, hate to think you all felt like this but good to know I am not just being a big baby.  

RoseC's picture
Posts: 558
Joined: Jun 2011

You are definitely not being a big baby, That's for sure. This is tough stuff. I know what you mean - so often I thought, gee, I'm just being a baby - I should be able to do this no problem. But it's not the same as having the flu. So glad you've got all those doggie friends to come back to!

sephie's picture
Posts: 646
Joined: Apr 2009

was wondering how many dogs you had.....you can always vent on here.... all of us have had to complain....actually, i still complain and am 3.5years post tx.....  if you know how, send us pic of your dog family......sephie

BBdogs's picture
Posts: 38
Joined: Jan 2013

I currently have 600lbs worth:)  2 newfs, 1 saint, newf, devil mix and 1 saint oh and then there is my foul-mouthed african grey.  The bird belonged to my dad who died in 2008 of pancreatic cancer, I am not so sure she cussed a lot until she came here - to hubub central.  I knew nothing about birds, called a friend of mine who did and she said "would you hide a new baby?"; they will adjust and they all have!

Not so great with this site yet but will try and post a picture.  Next to my boys....and now my grandkids; these puppers (and the bird) make my life happy!

sandysp's picture
Posts: 862
Joined: May 2011

To know you have that many friends at a time like this is a tremendous comfort to all of us here rooting for you. Also, I love dogs too but to be a Foster mom is really admirable. You are really putting your heart out there. Dogs give us their all. I am so glad there are people in the world like you. There is so much descrimination against large breeds and most of them are very, very gentle animals. sometimes even more so than some of the smallest breeds! I credit our dog Luke for getting me through and helping me heal from the treatments since he so often made me laugh and lifted my spirits and he is a great "nap dog!"

Reading your original post here really took me back. The most difficult time for me other than the week after the last treatment was in the days you are in now. Many of us here say this to the new comers. There is something wonderful about just getting on with it. The best news about our cancer is it is very curable and the treatment, although rough, does not go on forever and ever like breast cancer treatments. This terrible time, just like the bible says " . . . came to pass." Never does that book ever say even once "it came to stay." It felt to me like FOREVER at the time, but 18 months later, if you hadn't made this post, I would have pretty much forgotten how I felt then. Your post, however helped me feel more grateful with the more luxury recover phase I am in now.

I hope this was helpful.

Let us help hold you up and never worry about complaining here. Lord knows we all have done it!

God Bless,




BBdogs's picture
Posts: 38
Joined: Jan 2013

Thank you Sandy, it was helpful as I am sitting here being pretty grumpy about my 5FU pump making my shoulder, back, neck and head sore.  Comes out Friday, thank goodness. 

We are expecting a massive storm (like most of the rest of the country!) today.  They told me yesterday at radiation that if I couldn't make it it was ok they would just extend my treatment.  I have a calendar near my bed with treatment days on it so I can mark each one off....there will be no extension, if I need to I will hook these dogs to a sled Smile

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