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Just Call Me Numb

wolfen's picture
Posts: 1330
Joined: Apr 2009

I don't really know what else to say. We met with MDA doc today. The cancer in the lung is adenocarcinoma, while the cancer in the mouth & lymph nodes is squamous cell. No chemo can be started until urology problems are addressed. I managed to get a urologist appt. for next Thurs. morning. Due to his serious heart issues, it is doubtful he can withstand much chemo or radiation. We will see the MDA onc again after the urologist. Will also see the radiation doc there to discuss the possibility of cyberknife on the lung(of course, the pacemaker/defib is right above that). And last, but not least, the doc was to present his case to the tumor board later today.

So, just putting one foot in front of the other...........................

Haven't talked to JBG today. She's going through her own he!!, as you know.

Please keep her in your thoughts as she moves into another phase of her journey.



Varmint5's picture
Posts: 384
Joined: Feb 2012

I am so, so sorry to hear all of this. You would have to be numb to deal with it. I don't even know what to say. I hope they can come up with a plan for your hubby that will help him and not endanger his life. I hope the same for JBG. All of you are in my thoughts (prayers, too). It is just too, too much. Back in 2000 my husband had cancer (mesothelioma, no treatment offered) and my mom was in critical condition with respiratory failure. It was too much. I remember one time I was driving along to one of the hospitals and I just stopped in the road and got out and screamed and screamed and screamed. People must have thought I had lost my mind. Actually, I was trying to prevent just that! So some of what you're going through, I understand. But to have your husband and daughter going through so much at the same time? I can't comprehend that. I just wish there was some way I could help.

I just hope you know how much you are all cared for here. And I hope you can log on and vent and let us support you in any way we can here. Hang in there. You are strong and you will get through this. Take care of yourself, too.



wolfen's picture
Posts: 1330
Joined: Apr 2009

How terrible that must have been for you! The one saving grace I have is our son, Robert. He will go with us each time to any appt. to help his dad around. Plus, he's helping me around here, putting in a grab bar in the shower, keeping up the yard, just anything he can do. Just ask JBG. Robert was always the "wild child". I visited a lot of police stations in his younger days. Everyone always said "Just wait, till he's 30. He'll come around" .  How very true!

This brought to mind another time, not nearly so serious. Robert was 6 months old, very sick with a high fever. My mom was in the hospital recovering from a hemmorhoidectomy. My hubby called and said to come across the street to the doctors ofice. They were putting Robert in the hospital. So, I spent the next few days alternating between floors, trying to keep my mom from climbing out of bed and comforting my poor baby whose leg was strapped down to a sandbag with an IV. At one point, I got so sick, I threw up by the elevators. Bet the hospital appreciated that one.

Anyway, just thanks for caring. I finally managed to read a few posts and see that your daughter is doing much better. I'm so glad for her. I hope she will continue to "Beat The Devil".



herdizziness's picture
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010


Just breathe slow and take one minute at a time, then you can work up to an hour at a time and a day at a time. 

I'm here thinking of your family, and hoping for the best in all situations.

Hugs to you all,

Winter Marie

wolfen's picture
Posts: 1330
Joined: Apr 2009

I know you're fighting your own beast again. I am feeling a little better and as soon as I get 100% again, I'll be able to assimilate all this. It is almost impossible to get timely appts. with different specialists who have privileges at the hospital adjacent to MDA, which is the only place MDA will crossover to. That part is quite frustrating. I know that as cancer patients, many of you must face this dilemma. So, I had to choose by immediate availability, rather than by hospital. He can't wait another month to see the darn urologist.

We're just hangin' by our toes here. If I can just keep him out of emg. for another week........................

Anyway, just thanks for being "you".

The other ditzy blond.



ron50's picture
Posts: 1729
Joined: Nov 2001

; Sorry life is so crappy for you at the moment. I wish there was some thing more I could do for you than offer a cyberhug....Ron.

Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

Sorry you're dealing with so much. Don't think ahead. Just get through each day. Life can be so cruel. Good thing your tough. Stay strong.


Vickilg's picture
Posts: 281
Joined: Jan 2011

Wolfen, I am praying for you and your family.  I wish there was something I could say to comfort you.  Please just know that you are a special person and that you are handling everything in an amazing way.  Many would have cracked under the pressure.  Don't worry, me and JBG have each other's backs as we are going through smiliar situations.  You take care of yourself too.  Its important.

Vickilg's picture
Posts: 281
Joined: Jan 2011

Wolfen, I am praying for you and your family.  I wish there was something I could say to comfort you.  Please just know that you are a special person and that you are handling everything in an amazing way.  Many would have cracked under the pressure.  Don't worry, me and JBG have each other's backs as we are going through smiliar situations.  You take care of yourself too.  Its important.

wawaju04976's picture
Posts: 316
Joined: Dec 2012

I am so sorry to hear this. Yes, there are things than my fiance and me going thru this cancer crap; it would be having one of our children having to go thru this cancer crap. I hope I never have to. There is nothing I can say. Last year my 21 year old daughter found a breast lump. She went to her doctor who sent her immediately for an ultrasound. I was petrified (her father's side of the family has had every female I know of diagnosed at some point with breast cancer, so obviously there are probably genetics involved). Thankfully it was not cancerous, but I made out a family history of cancer for her doctor to put in her patient file. Now she has to add colon cancer on my side of the family. Again, there is nothing I can say, but I will be praying for your daughter. It sounds like she is a fighter and has a great caregiver! Keep fighting!


Sundanceh's picture
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

(((JBG))) + (((Mama))) + (((Ron)))


Posts: 1428
Joined: Feb 2011

I don't get the long wait to see urologists.....my dad was hospitalized just after Christmas with pneumonia,  his feet etc. were all swollen due to heart issues he has...on top of that he needed to be catherized because he couldn't pee....the pneumonia cleared up and they sent him home,  he's  90 lives by himself,   with follow up appts. for his cardiologist....and he's still catheterized waiting  till March to see a urologist!!!     Hugs to you Wolfen.    I wonder if they do chemo.  do they use the same chemo. for the two different types of cancer.   Seems they use I think 5FU for different types of cancer.   

Lovekitties's picture
Posts: 3372
Joined: Jan 2010

I am so very sorry to hear the outcome from MDA.  I can definately understand your frustrations with getting needed appoinments ASAP.

I am glad to hear that Robert is being so helpful, but I hope you can also get someone to come in some to allow you to get out on your own for a break.  Even for 15 min or 1/2 hr to walk or go to a quiet place several times a week.  You need that.  I know there is no way to minimize the stress you are feeling, but you need to take care of YOU too.  At the very least, take some time each day to sit and pet your kitty...I have fond that very calming.

Know that if the physical distance wasn't so great, we would all be there to help you and hug you.

Prayers for hubby, JBG and you, dear Wolfen.

Marie who loves kitties

annalexandria's picture
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

You seem like a very strong lady, Wolfen, but everyone has their breaking point. Please try to take care of yourself, give yourself an occasional break, if you possibly can.  I'm glad your son is there to help (funny how good the so-called "bad kids" can often turn out-have a few of those in our family).   Sending strength your way~Ann Alexandria

steveandnat's picture
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

SorrySorry to tohear you new news. It is so frustrating  to get new bad news to deal with. It seems never ending and we have to be strong mentally to handle the never ending changes we have to go through. I pray you get good answers soon you deserve t.  Jeff

LivinginNH's picture
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010


Oh Wolfen, I've been trying all day to think of something to say to ease your pain, but I just can't seem to find any words...  I'm so sorry, I wish I could help you and your family.   :(

Try to get some rest dear,


Brenda Bricco
Posts: 579
Joined: Aug 2011

I am thinking about you Wolfen and praying...


k44454445's picture
Posts: 494
Joined: Jul 2012

that you & hubby are going thru such a rough time. know that both of you are in my prayers everyday.



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