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Kayandok, a member here

Posts: 1223
Joined: Jun 2008

Greetings. I'm the husband of Kathleen, known as kayandok here. In case you haven't heard, Kathleen passed away on Jan. 10. She fought an excellent fight and was loved and admired by many people. She underwent 5 major surgeries and countless rounds of chemo. She really hated the hospital toward the end (not the people there, just the place) and her wish was to remain at home. We live in Japan and were able to get a kind of home health care insurance, which provided helpers, a nurse, and a doctor so that she could stay home. We celebrated Christmas together and she died peacefully in her sleep, surrounded by friends and family. It seems that her heart stopped from fluid build-up caused by being bedridden and on TPN for the last few months.

Thank you for all of the support you gave her, which meant you also supported our family. Some important lessons I learned from her were to never give up, never accept the first answer you get to your question if you are at all doubtful, and live life on your own terms regardless of your circumstances.

We started dating at 18 and married at 21, we grew up together. I'm feeling a bit rudderless without her, but also relieved that she has no more pain, no more suffering. My heart goes out to each of you and your families. It's not easy and some days are outright awful. But, you can gain strenght from your community here and other places.

God bless,


Posts: 114
Joined: May 2011

Tina and I send our prayers to you and your family.


Dave & Tina VG

Cindy Bear
Posts: 570
Joined: Jul 2009

Thank you for taking the time to le us know. Kathleen was much loved and respected on this board.  I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that you find strength and peace in the difficult days ahead. Your post is a lovely tribute to your wife.

Big hugs and prayers,


Alexandra's picture
Posts: 1311
Joined: Jul 2012

Dear Mark, please accept my condolences on the passing of your beloved wife Kathleen. I wish you and your family a lot of strength in coping with this tragic loss. 

You are in my thoughts,


Kaleena's picture
Posts: 1797
Joined: Nov 2009

My deepest sympathy to you and your family.



2timothy1 7's picture
2timothy1 7
Posts: 348
Joined: Jan 2012

So sorry for your loss. I remember reading her posts. She was always positive even though she had been through much and was prolly going through so much while even posting. You seem like a wonderful care giver! My husband is as well. may God richly reward you for your service to your wife. Again I'm so sorrry for your loss. Thankful she died peacefully in her sleep.

God Bless


Posts: 1995
Joined: May 2003


Thank you so much for taking the time to let us know about dear Kathleen.  I had missed seeing her posts on the board for sometime, but was trying not to think the worst.  It was always so nice to see her wonderful 'smile' on her photo, and read her encouraging words and feel her support. 

My thoughts and prayers to you and your family.  God bless all of you.  Kathleen is at peace, and pain free.



kikz's picture
Posts: 1347
Joined: Jun 2010

sorry for your loss.  It is a loss for us as well.  I too had wondered about Kathleen but chose to think she was having too good of a time to come here.  She had sent me a private message once when I was in despair but I didn't actually see it until months later because I was too ill to post.  I acknowledged her message and we messaged a few more times.  She has a special place in my heart.

Kathleen set the bar high with her optimism and high spirits. 

My very best to you and your family and know you are in my thoughts and prayers.



Posts: 150
Joined: Oct 2010

My  deep sympathy to you and your family.  Kay loved you all so very much.  I am very sad for your great loss.  Kay was one classy lady.  She wrote so well.  She loved so deeply.



Tethys41's picture
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sep 2010

I'm very sorry for your loss, Mark.  Kathleen was always such an inspiration on this site, with her informative and positive posts.  My prayers are with you and your family.



Cafewoman53's picture
Posts: 737
Joined: Jul 2010

 The fact that you took the time to reach out to us at such a time of great personal loss humbles me. Your wife was very much loved here and will be remembered for her grace and beauty.


poopergirl14052's picture
Posts: 1185
Joined: Nov 2010

Miss her posts very much. Loved the pics she sent on FB..Japan looks like a great place to live. Ladies on this site have helped me so much. She was always there to give hope to us. I hate cancer...hate that it takes these beautiful souls way to young. God bless you and your family..Kay is watching.......Val


azgrandma's picture
Posts: 606
Joined: Feb 2010

I am so sorry to hear this news, I am praying God heals some of your hurt my friend.

lovesanimals's picture
Posts: 1364
Joined: Sep 2011

I am so, so sorry to read about the passing of your beloved Kathleen.  I too had been wondering about her but assumed she was doing okay with her family in Japan.  I enjoyed reading her posts and appreciated her support of the women on this board.  She will be greatly missed!  I hope that the good memories you have of Kathleen help to sustain you and your family in the difficult days ahead.   Thank you so much for taking the time, in your grief, to give us the news. 

Sending lots of prayers to you and your family.

Peace and blessings always,



lulu1010's picture
Posts: 367
Joined: Feb 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. I married my husband at the age of 21 also and cant imagine either of us alone. My heart breaks for you. I too learned so many things from her and she was such an inspiration. I pray for peace and strength for you and your family.

Mwee's picture
Posts: 1341
Joined: Nov 2009

Dear Mark and family,

Thank you so very much for alerting us. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've shared so many moments with Kathleen over the past several years and am brokenhearted for all of you and for us. Kathleen fought so very hard and with all she endured, she was always kind and supportive to all who seek help here on this board. She loved her family dearly and will be greatly missed by her CSN family.


pattysoo's picture
Posts: 172
Joined: Oct 2010

I'm very sorry for your loss. Your wife taught us many things and she'll be missed.

zinaida's picture
Posts: 223
Joined: Oct 2007

I feel so sad! Kathleen was so beautifull and nice , brave women . I will miss her. Mark be strong. God bless,Zina.

Posts: 1223
Joined: Jun 2008

Thank you all for the kind comments. They are very heartwarming. Our children and I are doing quite well considering the situation. We had some time to prepare, so even though there have been some hard times emotionally, we feel more like it is a step on the path, not a leap into the unknown. Also, I know that she fought as hard as she could for us, so there is some comfort in that.

Blessings to you.


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