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Bye bye fertility

hope4thebest's picture
Posts: 108
Joined: Aug 2012

I know I am lucky to even be here and have to make this decision.  I will be 43 in March.  Last year after the bmx and reconstruction my body is still exhausted.  I am having really heavy periods and cannot keep iron levels up so Dr suggests either an ablasion or an IUD.  With that, I have to rule out having kids.  Realistically, I understood this as I was going thru treatment but it is scary to have to deal with some new health problem.  It is just one more reminder that my bc really did happen.  

Now that I am post treatment, just got my tattoos done!, I'm looking good and healthy.  Problem is that inside I am still so tired and achey.  I have gotten some great advice from you ladies about dealing with life post treatment.  Most everyone does not want to hear about it.  Lots of friends do not pick up my calls, but text me.  Honestly, I feel they are avoiding me, or the bc.  I spoke with my sister last nite for the first time in months.  It was a nice conversation, she spoke about her kids- ages 6, 9 and 16. ABout how my cousin just gave birth to a baby girl, how wondeful that all is.  There was no inquiry about my rehab, or my health, which has become my life, at all.  The big question they have is 'when am I going to come and visit them, (and all their kids)'.  I am single, so travel alone, and live in Hawaii, they live in NY.  A roadtrip across the island is very difficult for me, let alone a huge trip across the country.  The non-cancer people don't seem to understand how draining bc is on the body, mind and spirit.  The idea of facing them all makes me uncomfortable.  I realize that having a realtionship with someone invlove both sides reaching out but is hard for me to put out all that energy right now, especially since I feel they are not being so supportive with my recovery.

So, I tell you ladies this story becuase I am nervous about my first post bc health issue.  I trust my Drs, and have no problem with the care they give me.  It is hard dealing with the rest of the world and those who simply do not know thr true effects of cancer.  It is lingering with me despite the PS telling me that I am 'cured'.  Thanks for being there, you ladies are the best.




lintx's picture
Posts: 691
Joined: Sep 2012

Give up on the non-cancer people understanding.  I remember before it was me, I was always very sorry to hear about someone's loved one w/cancer but didn't link it to my own world. Everyone is terrified that it will land in their own backyard, so it's easier to avoid the subject for the most part.  I truly feel unless you've experienced certain things in life, you'll never know how someone else feels or what they expect in return.  I'm sorry to hear of your new health issue.  I'm sure your exhaustion comes from the low iron levels.  It can be conquered!  I graduated today from my PS's ofc.  They had me go back for the last set of pictures after tattooing.  My skin is so light that results weren't perfect, but I'm happy.  It felt like such an accomplishment to be walking out of there instead of in, last April.  You've reached many milestones, too!  I'm proud of the way you recognoize yourself to be "looking good and healthy."  I just feel that you are getting better every single day.  You're young, alive and live in Hawaii!!!!!!!!!  We need to have a pink meeting on your turf.  Love you, Linda



Lynn Smith
Posts: 1265
Joined: Mar 2011

Those I talk to and when I say I have/had breast cancer always say "I'm so sorry".That  gets to  me.Those words.Never say when were you dx.Its just I'm sorry.After that I tell them it was Stage 0 no chemo or radiation so I kinda pass it off as if not being serious but in my heart it scares me. It's been 3 1/2 years ago and I don't care to even mention it now.Until people walk in your shoes they'll never understand.

Lintx I always wanted to hear about others dx and how they were doing but for me I like to keep to myself now.i'd rather not be pitied. Upsetting.

Lynn Smith  

Posts: 6587
Joined: Oct 2010

people GET IT or they Don't...

I can totally understand traveling such along distance could be an issue. I am not a tatto kind of person but I know how exciting they can be. (my oldest daughter's whole back covered)


thinking of you..



Posts: 88
Joined: Dec 2012

to talk about breat cancer.Even my husband don't .I am glad for this site because someone will responed to your questions  with there own experence that helpsSmileHoping for the best for you.

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