I wonder sometimes....

richls
richls Member Posts: 54

I wonder  sometimes if it was a loved one or a spouse of the oncologist that is treating my wife with her cancer, would they recomend the same treatment for them? I wonder sometimes if he is doing everything he can to get rid of her cancer. Or if he just follows textbook procedures? Would he do more if it was his wife?

Does anyone else ever feel this way? Am I wrong to think like that? All I know is for a week in the hospital and four chemo treatments followed by a nulasta shot, it has cost almost 90,000 dollars. It sometimes feel like she is a cash cow for the Dr. and his staff. Why would they want to find a cure for this beast when it is so profitable?

Please excuse my rant, I get frustrated sometimes.

«1

Comments

  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122
    richls -


    Re:
    "........for a week in the hospital and four chemo treatments.......
    .........it has cost almost 90,000 dollars........
    .........It sometimes feel like she is a cash cow for the Dr........
    .........Why would they want to find a cure for this beast when it is so profitable?.......
    .........Please excuse my rant..........."

    It's not a "rant", it's logic and awareness sinking in.

    Hoping for her better health,

    John

  • johnnybegood
    johnnybegood Member Posts: 1,117
    John23 said:

    richls -


    Re:
    "........for a week in the hospital and four chemo treatments.......
    .........it has cost almost 90,000 dollars........
    .........It sometimes feel like she is a cash cow for the Dr........
    .........Why would they want to find a cure for this beast when it is so profitable?.......
    .........Please excuse my rant..........."

    It's not a "rant", it's logic and awareness sinking in.

    Hoping for her better health,

    John

    hello

    i dont post alot but your discussion reminded me of something my surgen told me when i was first dx stage 4 in 2011.i had mets to my liver and lung and my surgen(who i love dearly) wanted me to be on irrinatecan before my liver resection.he said if i was his sister he would not put me on a chemo pill at that time he knew i needed something stronger.i guess i am one of the lucky ones who has a good team of doctors.right now i am under my chemo oncs care but my surgen is also in the team so if at anytime things just dont feel right i know i can pick up the phone and call my surgen and he will get us on the right path again.sorry you are having a hard time hope things get better.....Godbless..johnnybegood

  • Phil64
    Phil64 Member Posts: 838
    good questions

    Rich,

     

    There is a lot of people (published in books) who think that we are "hooked" on cancer treatment and not necessarily on cancer cure...  A lot of the published people argue that the alternative cures are very inexpensive in comparison.  There are also a lot of people who think that the alternative "cures" are not tested and are not effective as well. 

    So, in the end we need to make up our own minds.  I for one choose to believe that there is NOT a conspiracy.  I also believe that curing cancer is not an easy task. I also believe that our doctors are doing the best they can, but they are human and they have very IMPERFECT knowledge regarding cancer causes, treatments, etc.  I also believe some doctors are smarter than other doctors, so finding a good oncologis is something we have to try to do (as cancer patients).

    Here is an interesting article on the topic you raise:

    http://www.cancertreatmentwatch.org/q/conspiracy.shtml

    God Bless you and your wife and I pray that she will experience SUCCESS in her battle with cancer.

    Phil

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Look At It This Way...

    If they can charge us this FOR TREATMENT...

    Just imagine what they would charge us FOR CURE...

    Get it?

    Doctor's wives, kids, family and friend's all get cancer...so if they could cure them...they would...

    What separates Care is simple...it's $$$....so with more money, you have more options...you can go to a better hospital...out of state...or out of the country...you would know people in the field through the business or referrals etc...so you'd have the shortcut on the short list of good doctors. 

    Now, Complacency....that's another story...

    I think it's very easy for the doctors to get overwhelmed, discouraged and quite frankly...disheartened from the number of their patients that they have treated and those that have passed away under their care....that's a tremendous burden.

    I felt that recently myself...I've been up here talking to the multitudes for a few years....I don't know how many there have been.  I was trying to help some folks while my own life crashed in around me...and when you know that the caregiver's love is about to pass away....it can sometimes be an insurmountable feeling.

    It made me realize what doctors have to go through...while we ride them hard and merciless sometimes...we fail to take into consideration that they are human - as such, they have feelings too...and perhaps that trying to heal a patient and knowing they can't....that can really mess you up.....I've been involved with watching approximately 350+ of my friends die right before my very eyes, Rich.

    I can tell you with certainty...that you become changed...and sometimes not always for the better.  Because Enlightenment is some heavy stuff....you can't know the good without knowing the bad...so from that aspect, Enlightenment educates...it does not discriminate.

    "Knowing" is some deep stuff sometimes...

    And sometimes, they can get "burnt out."  Again, from what they have witnessed, I suspect.  And just the time invested in the field....I feel that way in my job now...25-years worth...and with all the cancer I've been through....just don't have the zip for the working world like I used to in my 20's and 30's....now I want to get out in the world and live in the world of cancer and continue to help folks.

    Sometimes, we can just stay too long in a profession....

    Now, if the doctor is incompetent and makes too many mistakes...it's time to start looking. I would say that your doctor is probably doing every clinical thing that he has been taught or acquired.  The truth is there are only so many chemo drugs for our cancer anyway.  Any cancer center can dispense them.

    The difference between a private cancer center versus a teaching hospital, is the fact that in a teaching environment, new theories, practices, and medications become available as they are more on the cutting edge of what's out there....whereas, the private facility will dole out what they have readily available.

    I think the key is...and always will be....Surgery...followed by adjuvant treatments or therapies...and that's where a teaching facility plays a big role too.  I was briefly on the cutting edge (literally) when I volunteered myself for the Da Vinci robotic lung surgery a few years back....we were the 1st Surgeon/Patient team to perform this procedure in North Texas...we briefly made medical history for our state. 

    Unfortunately, we are drinking out of the same glass with regards to our treatment options...family of doctor...or patient of doctor.

    If something were out there...we'd be hearing about it (can't keep that secret for long)...and more importantly...we'd be paying for it....and in a much bigger way than we are now.

    It would be bigger than gold, wouldn't it?

    In 8.7 years....I think I'm somewhere in between 1.5 to 2 million that has been spent on "care."

    I often think back to the small cost the insurance would have had to pay...if they had elected to send me for a colonoscopy, instead of delaying me for 3-years...while I bled and the tumor grew...

    $$$ makes me sick....the insurance was being so tight....that they squeaked when they walked...and 8.7 years later...you got my story.

    Doing all they can?

    It's a great question, Rich...and I'm left wondering at various junctures of my fight, if they were or weren't?  Questions one can always ponder...but in the end, we have to Adapt and Overcome what's been laid before us...right or wrong. 

    I like your thinking, Rich...think I'm gonna' like talking to you...I'm big on Awareness - Enlightenment - Empowerment - Personal Growth....I call them "The Four Horsemen."

    It's great to see the dials in your head spinnin' round. 

    I switched practices after 5-years...due to many mistakes and other things....took my care to an NCI institution/teaching facility...and have never looked back.  I forgot to mention that the DaVinci robot surgery we did....netted the hospital a brand new, state of the art, 1.5 million dollar robot for their use...and the surgery brought notoriety to the surgeon and the hopsital...we did a magazine write up...newpaper...tv.

    I was proud to serve...as I always try to turn cancer into something that I can live with...for myself...and for others too.

    Never be hesitant to switch in mid-stream if you feel your care is not what you think it should be....never hurts to shop.

    Hang in there, Rich...the wife too.  We'll get this thing figured out....just keep talking:)

    Take care, buddy!

    -Craig

     

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276
    richis

    I hope you didn't have to pay the 90K by yourself? Any insurance?

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276
    richis

    I hope you didn't have to pay the 90K by yourself? Any insurance?

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    I get the frustration! I
    I get the frustration! I feel it too and I even have a problem with all of the cancer fundraisers. I do think there is too much money to be made to find a cure. I get so annoyed with the infusion room when we have a 3 hour wait because they have 1 pharmacist mixing the chemo. It's like $15,000 per treatment and there are 15 other patients in there while we are....hire a 2nd person and stop being so inconsiderate to the patients. We are buried in debt after a few short months and no one seems to care. It's beyond frustrating.

    I like my husband's dr and she is compassionate - she cried when she gave us the diagnosis. For the most part I think the doctors and nurses do this because they want to help people. I think when they get busy or have been doing it too long, they can forget each person is an individual.

    I'm glad you started this - even here I feel like I can't rant and be negative, but I feel so angry at times. It's good to vent some of it.
  • richls
    richls Member Posts: 54
    Sundanceh said:

    Look At It This Way...

    If they can charge us this FOR TREATMENT...

    Just imagine what they would charge us FOR CURE...

    Get it?

    Doctor's wives, kids, family and friend's all get cancer...so if they could cure them...they would...

    What separates Care is simple...it's $$$....so with more money, you have more options...you can go to a better hospital...out of state...or out of the country...you would know people in the field through the business or referrals etc...so you'd have the shortcut on the short list of good doctors. 

    Now, Complacency....that's another story...

    I think it's very easy for the doctors to get overwhelmed, discouraged and quite frankly...disheartened from the number of their patients that they have treated and those that have passed away under their care....that's a tremendous burden.

    I felt that recently myself...I've been up here talking to the multitudes for a few years....I don't know how many there have been.  I was trying to help some folks while my own life crashed in around me...and when you know that the caregiver's love is about to pass away....it can sometimes be an insurmountable feeling.

    It made me realize what doctors have to go through...while we ride them hard and merciless sometimes...we fail to take into consideration that they are human - as such, they have feelings too...and perhaps that trying to heal a patient and knowing they can't....that can really mess you up.....I've been involved with watching approximately 350+ of my friends die right before my very eyes, Rich.

    I can tell you with certainty...that you become changed...and sometimes not always for the better.  Because Enlightenment is some heavy stuff....you can't know the good without knowing the bad...so from that aspect, Enlightenment educates...it does not discriminate.

    "Knowing" is some deep stuff sometimes...

    And sometimes, they can get "burnt out."  Again, from what they have witnessed, I suspect.  And just the time invested in the field....I feel that way in my job now...25-years worth...and with all the cancer I've been through....just don't have the zip for the working world like I used to in my 20's and 30's....now I want to get out in the world and live in the world of cancer and continue to help folks.

    Sometimes, we can just stay too long in a profession....

    Now, if the doctor is incompetent and makes too many mistakes...it's time to start looking. I would say that your doctor is probably doing every clinical thing that he has been taught or acquired.  The truth is there are only so many chemo drugs for our cancer anyway.  Any cancer center can dispense them.

    The difference between a private cancer center versus a teaching hospital, is the fact that in a teaching environment, new theories, practices, and medications become available as they are more on the cutting edge of what's out there....whereas, the private facility will dole out what they have readily available.

    I think the key is...and always will be....Surgery...followed by adjuvant treatments or therapies...and that's where a teaching facility plays a big role too.  I was briefly on the cutting edge (literally) when I volunteered myself for the Da Vinci robotic lung surgery a few years back....we were the 1st Surgeon/Patient team to perform this procedure in North Texas...we briefly made medical history for our state. 

    Unfortunately, we are drinking out of the same glass with regards to our treatment options...family of doctor...or patient of doctor.

    If something were out there...we'd be hearing about it (can't keep that secret for long)...and more importantly...we'd be paying for it....and in a much bigger way than we are now.

    It would be bigger than gold, wouldn't it?

    In 8.7 years....I think I'm somewhere in between 1.5 to 2 million that has been spent on "care."

    I often think back to the small cost the insurance would have had to pay...if they had elected to send me for a colonoscopy, instead of delaying me for 3-years...while I bled and the tumor grew...

    $$$ makes me sick....the insurance was being so tight....that they squeaked when they walked...and 8.7 years later...you got my story.

    Doing all they can?

    It's a great question, Rich...and I'm left wondering at various junctures of my fight, if they were or weren't?  Questions one can always ponder...but in the end, we have to Adapt and Overcome what's been laid before us...right or wrong. 

    I like your thinking, Rich...think I'm gonna' like talking to you...I'm big on Awareness - Enlightenment - Empowerment - Personal Growth....I call them "The Four Horsemen."

    It's great to see the dials in your head spinnin' round. 

    I switched practices after 5-years...due to many mistakes and other things....took my care to an NCI institution/teaching facility...and have never looked back.  I forgot to mention that the DaVinci robot surgery we did....netted the hospital a brand new, state of the art, 1.5 million dollar robot for their use...and the surgery brought notoriety to the surgeon and the hopsital...we did a magazine write up...newpaper...tv.

    I was proud to serve...as I always try to turn cancer into something that I can live with...for myself...and for others too.

    Never be hesitant to switch in mid-stream if you feel your care is not what you think it should be....never hurts to shop.

    Hang in there, Rich...the wife too.  We'll get this thing figured out....just keep talking:)

    Take care, buddy!

    -Craig

     

    Thanks Craig. You are a good

    Thanks Craig. You are a good guy. I like how you think as well. I guess this is something  have to lear to deal with. It is pretty  frustrating at times.

  • richls
    richls Member Posts: 54
    danker said:

    richis

    I hope you didn't have to pay the 90K by yourself? Any insurance?

    Yeah, thank God for the

    Yeah, thank God for the insurance. It just seems like price gouging is all.

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    jen2012 said:

    I get the frustration! I
    I get the frustration! I feel it too and I even have a problem with all of the cancer fundraisers. I do think there is too much money to be made to find a cure. I get so annoyed with the infusion room when we have a 3 hour wait because they have 1 pharmacist mixing the chemo. It's like $15,000 per treatment and there are 15 other patients in there while we are....hire a 2nd person and stop being so inconsiderate to the patients. We are buried in debt after a few short months and no one seems to care. It's beyond frustrating.

    I like my husband's dr and she is compassionate - she cried when she gave us the diagnosis. For the most part I think the doctors and nurses do this because they want to help people. I think when they get busy or have been doing it too long, they can forget each person is an individual.

    I'm glad you started this - even here I feel like I can't rant and be negative, but I feel so angry at times. It's good to vent some of it.

    Jen...

    Not NEGATIVE.........just REAL.

    Big difference:)

    I found that's part of the problem with some of the support part of the board...we're always trying to grease the landing so hard...we are afraid we'll hurt somebody's feelings...or worse, that we will be less thought of....or gasp, argh....not liked.

    It's not always "The Happy Slappy Hour" up here...and when we constantly gloss things over and don't talk real, when we know we should, I think we do ourselves...and everyone else a big disservice.  There's a time for Rah-Rah...and there's a time to be real....and real is always what people feel...if we're doing it right:)

    Otherwise, how do we learn from one another if we don't have the courage to tell each other the truth about how we are feeling?

    Too much "correctness" being peddled to society...that it hinders our natural reactions to a situation in a sometimes unhealthy way...sometimes we need to shout, spit and cuss.  And I've always felt OPENLY...there's something about saying it publically, that is so freeing and liberating....I suppose, from the standpoint, that it's out there now....and you can't recant your statement.

    Good!  I want to know how I felt then....so in the future, I can see if I still feel that way...or if my stance has softened.

    Anger is good...anger is healthy...it's nature's natural release...much like the tea kettle venting steam when the water reaches the boilihg point....

    You know you've always got Real here on The Sundance Channel...I love talking about the real human aspects of this disease...and how we can work through it together:)

    Now, let me see your War Face!

    LOL!

    Take care, Jen

    -Craig

  • LivinginNH
    LivinginNH Member Posts: 1,456
    Sundanceh said:

    Jen...

    Not NEGATIVE.........just REAL.

    Big difference:)

    I found that's part of the problem with some of the support part of the board...we're always trying to grease the landing so hard...we are afraid we'll hurt somebody's feelings...or worse, that we will be less thought of....or gasp, argh....not liked.

    It's not always "The Happy Slappy Hour" up here...and when we constantly gloss things over and don't talk real, when we know we should, I think we do ourselves...and everyone else a big disservice.  There's a time for Rah-Rah...and there's a time to be real....and real is always what people feel...if we're doing it right:)

    Otherwise, how do we learn from one another if we don't have the courage to tell each other the truth about how we are feeling?

    Too much "correctness" being peddled to society...that it hinders our natural reactions to a situation in a sometimes unhealthy way...sometimes we need to shout, spit and cuss.  And I've always felt OPENLY...there's something about saying it publically, that is so freeing and liberating....I suppose, from the standpoint, that it's out there now....and you can't recant your statement.

    Good!  I want to know how I felt then....so in the future, I can see if I still feel that way...or if my stance has softened.

    Anger is good...anger is healthy...it's nature's natural release...much like the tea kettle venting steam when the water reaches the boilihg point....

    You know you've always got Real here on The Sundance Channel...I love talking about the real human aspects of this disease...and how we can work through it together:)

    Now, let me see your War Face!

    LOL!

    Take care, Jen

    -Craig

    Good post Craig - truth can

    Good post Craig - truth can hurt sometimes, but it's often for our benefit. 

    Hugs,

    Cyn

  • relaxoutdoors08
    relaxoutdoors08 Member Posts: 521 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    Look At It This Way...

    If they can charge us this FOR TREATMENT...

    Just imagine what they would charge us FOR CURE...

    Get it?

    Doctor's wives, kids, family and friend's all get cancer...so if they could cure them...they would...

    What separates Care is simple...it's $$$....so with more money, you have more options...you can go to a better hospital...out of state...or out of the country...you would know people in the field through the business or referrals etc...so you'd have the shortcut on the short list of good doctors. 

    Now, Complacency....that's another story...

    I think it's very easy for the doctors to get overwhelmed, discouraged and quite frankly...disheartened from the number of their patients that they have treated and those that have passed away under their care....that's a tremendous burden.

    I felt that recently myself...I've been up here talking to the multitudes for a few years....I don't know how many there have been.  I was trying to help some folks while my own life crashed in around me...and when you know that the caregiver's love is about to pass away....it can sometimes be an insurmountable feeling.

    It made me realize what doctors have to go through...while we ride them hard and merciless sometimes...we fail to take into consideration that they are human - as such, they have feelings too...and perhaps that trying to heal a patient and knowing they can't....that can really mess you up.....I've been involved with watching approximately 350+ of my friends die right before my very eyes, Rich.

    I can tell you with certainty...that you become changed...and sometimes not always for the better.  Because Enlightenment is some heavy stuff....you can't know the good without knowing the bad...so from that aspect, Enlightenment educates...it does not discriminate.

    "Knowing" is some deep stuff sometimes...

    And sometimes, they can get "burnt out."  Again, from what they have witnessed, I suspect.  And just the time invested in the field....I feel that way in my job now...25-years worth...and with all the cancer I've been through....just don't have the zip for the working world like I used to in my 20's and 30's....now I want to get out in the world and live in the world of cancer and continue to help folks.

    Sometimes, we can just stay too long in a profession....

    Now, if the doctor is incompetent and makes too many mistakes...it's time to start looking. I would say that your doctor is probably doing every clinical thing that he has been taught or acquired.  The truth is there are only so many chemo drugs for our cancer anyway.  Any cancer center can dispense them.

    The difference between a private cancer center versus a teaching hospital, is the fact that in a teaching environment, new theories, practices, and medications become available as they are more on the cutting edge of what's out there....whereas, the private facility will dole out what they have readily available.

    I think the key is...and always will be....Surgery...followed by adjuvant treatments or therapies...and that's where a teaching facility plays a big role too.  I was briefly on the cutting edge (literally) when I volunteered myself for the Da Vinci robotic lung surgery a few years back....we were the 1st Surgeon/Patient team to perform this procedure in North Texas...we briefly made medical history for our state. 

    Unfortunately, we are drinking out of the same glass with regards to our treatment options...family of doctor...or patient of doctor.

    If something were out there...we'd be hearing about it (can't keep that secret for long)...and more importantly...we'd be paying for it....and in a much bigger way than we are now.

    It would be bigger than gold, wouldn't it?

    In 8.7 years....I think I'm somewhere in between 1.5 to 2 million that has been spent on "care."

    I often think back to the small cost the insurance would have had to pay...if they had elected to send me for a colonoscopy, instead of delaying me for 3-years...while I bled and the tumor grew...

    $$$ makes me sick....the insurance was being so tight....that they squeaked when they walked...and 8.7 years later...you got my story.

    Doing all they can?

    It's a great question, Rich...and I'm left wondering at various junctures of my fight, if they were or weren't?  Questions one can always ponder...but in the end, we have to Adapt and Overcome what's been laid before us...right or wrong. 

    I like your thinking, Rich...think I'm gonna' like talking to you...I'm big on Awareness - Enlightenment - Empowerment - Personal Growth....I call them "The Four Horsemen."

    It's great to see the dials in your head spinnin' round. 

    I switched practices after 5-years...due to many mistakes and other things....took my care to an NCI institution/teaching facility...and have never looked back.  I forgot to mention that the DaVinci robot surgery we did....netted the hospital a brand new, state of the art, 1.5 million dollar robot for their use...and the surgery brought notoriety to the surgeon and the hopsital...we did a magazine write up...newpaper...tv.

    I was proud to serve...as I always try to turn cancer into something that I can live with...for myself...and for others too.

    Never be hesitant to switch in mid-stream if you feel your care is not what you think it should be....never hurts to shop.

    Hang in there, Rich...the wife too.  We'll get this thing figured out....just keep talking:)

    Take care, buddy!

    -Craig

     

    Craig Agree

    Craig

    I agree ...we lost many wonderful teachers because our Mn Teacher Insurance under Gov. Pawlenty cut all cancer screenings for a four year period.  Thank goodness Healthcare Reform saved my life.

    Nb

  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571
    I have a friend who is in the field of cancer research...

    because her mom died of it at a young age.  My own daughter is thinking about going into medicine because of our family's experience.  I suspect this is the case with many cancer researchers.  There was no doubt money to be made in tb wards, iron lung facilities and who knows?   Maybe even leper colonies.  Yet cures and effective treatments, even outright preventions, were found for those diseases.  I think I agree with Craig...if a cure is found, someone will certainly figure out a way to make money off if it.  I don't believe there is some profit-driven conspiracy to avoid finding a cure...although I do believe that there will be loads of people, in both the conventional and alternative worlds of medicine, who will look to make a quick buck off of all of us until the cure is finally discovered.  AA

  • barbebarb
    barbebarb Member Posts: 464
    Share in frustration

    Thank you for these posts. Next week I see local oncologist who is partnering with my oncologist at Northwestern in Chicago. It is literally a factory of cancer patients most days in the lobby area. I have walked in with a very heavy heart and looked at each person wondering why, what kind? Why are so many people with cancer! I agree, the costs are exorbitant! I have Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance but wonder what is next? Next Tues., I find out my treatment for my liver and lung met. My next MRI is early Feb. Options, I'll take it! I recently had a brain tumor removed and one time radiation....steroid is now being reduced -dexamethsone - totally makes you psychotic and NO sleep! Been difficult but I am a yoga girl and have a great cancer center with free programs and always folks to mingle with. I have spoken out at work (to get donations for the center) at our workplace giving campaign because they always have lectures from top doctors, and nutritional programs, etc., etc., and counseling.... so important for me. My family support has been pretty deficient. My own mother told me cancer is scary that is why she never asks much and she lives 700 miles away. Her sister, Godmother, lives an hour away but she doesn't understand. Her husband was told he was stage III and keeps getting benign tumors in the same spot removed. I tried to reach out and they told me he hes "his family "...I have accepted all of this....just don't understand people sometimes. Very hurtful for my 21 and 23 year old but they are finally on board. Also, agree one had to go after what they think is best, too, and knowing docs have a boatload of anxious patients. I am rambling here....Many of you post so eloquently. I have learned so much from all of you and it has me cope as well as educated me, too. Thank you raig for your candidness and sharing. No doubt you have helped so many!!! Speaking from the heart here -Barb NED. I think I am going to design a logo for a tee -shirt! May we all keep achieving it with all we endure with ourselves and families! A

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,434 Member
    We just had this discussion

    We just had this discussion in our house.  If they cured this, Sloan Kettering wouldn't make any money.  So they find the most expensive way to treat it and keep a certain amount of people alive over time.  The argument was can a conspiracy be that huge, that an entire staff would participate in keeping a certain percentage of people alive for money and ratings.  Hey look, we are up 2% from last year! 

    The other part of the conversation was if there is a cure, why not just charge 50,000 for the cure and outrageous amounts for the vaccine.  I'd pay that in a minute.  I'd have to pay it in installments, but I'd pay it.  And just how much a year is really collected from all of these "fundraisers" for the cure and where is the money exactly going?  I think the cynical NYer in me makes me wonder these things.  In my mind, everyone is always trying to run a scam.  My sister debated that you have to trust someone, an entire team of researchers would not be willing to participate in a conspiracy.  Someone with a conscience would spill the beans to which I replied, yes but what if that someone suddenly got hit by a taxi the next day.  The conspiracy just gets deeper and deeper.

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,434 Member
    barbebarb said:

    Share in frustration

    Thank you for these posts. Next week I see local oncologist who is partnering with my oncologist at Northwestern in Chicago. It is literally a factory of cancer patients most days in the lobby area. I have walked in with a very heavy heart and looked at each person wondering why, what kind? Why are so many people with cancer! I agree, the costs are exorbitant! I have Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance but wonder what is next? Next Tues., I find out my treatment for my liver and lung met. My next MRI is early Feb. Options, I'll take it! I recently had a brain tumor removed and one time radiation....steroid is now being reduced -dexamethsone - totally makes you psychotic and NO sleep! Been difficult but I am a yoga girl and have a great cancer center with free programs and always folks to mingle with. I have spoken out at work (to get donations for the center) at our workplace giving campaign because they always have lectures from top doctors, and nutritional programs, etc., etc., and counseling.... so important for me. My family support has been pretty deficient. My own mother told me cancer is scary that is why she never asks much and she lives 700 miles away. Her sister, Godmother, lives an hour away but she doesn't understand. Her husband was told he was stage III and keeps getting benign tumors in the same spot removed. I tried to reach out and they told me he hes "his family "...I have accepted all of this....just don't understand people sometimes. Very hurtful for my 21 and 23 year old but they are finally on board. Also, agree one had to go after what they think is best, too, and knowing docs have a boatload of anxious patients. I am rambling here....Many of you post so eloquently. I have learned so much from all of you and it has me cope as well as educated me, too. Thank you raig for your candidness and sharing. No doubt you have helped so many!!! Speaking from the heart here -Barb NED. I think I am going to design a logo for a tee -shirt! May we all keep achieving it with all we endure with ourselves and families! A

    I'd buy your tshirt barb! 

    I'd buy your tshirt barb!  Barb NED!  I really like the sound of that.  There should be a tshirt that says NED with a giant heart around it.

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,434 Member
    barbebarb said:

    Share in frustration

    Thank you for these posts. Next week I see local oncologist who is partnering with my oncologist at Northwestern in Chicago. It is literally a factory of cancer patients most days in the lobby area. I have walked in with a very heavy heart and looked at each person wondering why, what kind? Why are so many people with cancer! I agree, the costs are exorbitant! I have Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance but wonder what is next? Next Tues., I find out my treatment for my liver and lung met. My next MRI is early Feb. Options, I'll take it! I recently had a brain tumor removed and one time radiation....steroid is now being reduced -dexamethsone - totally makes you psychotic and NO sleep! Been difficult but I am a yoga girl and have a great cancer center with free programs and always folks to mingle with. I have spoken out at work (to get donations for the center) at our workplace giving campaign because they always have lectures from top doctors, and nutritional programs, etc., etc., and counseling.... so important for me. My family support has been pretty deficient. My own mother told me cancer is scary that is why she never asks much and she lives 700 miles away. Her sister, Godmother, lives an hour away but she doesn't understand. Her husband was told he was stage III and keeps getting benign tumors in the same spot removed. I tried to reach out and they told me he hes "his family "...I have accepted all of this....just don't understand people sometimes. Very hurtful for my 21 and 23 year old but they are finally on board. Also, agree one had to go after what they think is best, too, and knowing docs have a boatload of anxious patients. I am rambling here....Many of you post so eloquently. I have learned so much from all of you and it has me cope as well as educated me, too. Thank you raig for your candidness and sharing. No doubt you have helped so many!!! Speaking from the heart here -Barb NED. I think I am going to design a logo for a tee -shirt! May we all keep achieving it with all we endure with ourselves and families! A

    ooops

    ooops

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    Jen...

    Not NEGATIVE.........just REAL.

    Big difference:)

    I found that's part of the problem with some of the support part of the board...we're always trying to grease the landing so hard...we are afraid we'll hurt somebody's feelings...or worse, that we will be less thought of....or gasp, argh....not liked.

    It's not always "The Happy Slappy Hour" up here...and when we constantly gloss things over and don't talk real, when we know we should, I think we do ourselves...and everyone else a big disservice.  There's a time for Rah-Rah...and there's a time to be real....and real is always what people feel...if we're doing it right:)

    Otherwise, how do we learn from one another if we don't have the courage to tell each other the truth about how we are feeling?

    Too much "correctness" being peddled to society...that it hinders our natural reactions to a situation in a sometimes unhealthy way...sometimes we need to shout, spit and cuss.  And I've always felt OPENLY...there's something about saying it publically, that is so freeing and liberating....I suppose, from the standpoint, that it's out there now....and you can't recant your statement.

    Good!  I want to know how I felt then....so in the future, I can see if I still feel that way...or if my stance has softened.

    Anger is good...anger is healthy...it's nature's natural release...much like the tea kettle venting steam when the water reaches the boilihg point....

    You know you've always got Real here on The Sundance Channel...I love talking about the real human aspects of this disease...and how we can work through it together:)

    Now, let me see your War Face!

    LOL!

    Take care, Jen

    -Craig

    Thanks Craig - you are

    Thanks Craig - you are right.  It just seems there is so much pressure to stay positive and that is so hard to do sometimes.  It pisses me off that good people have to deal with this stuff.  Vicki's post the other day really bothered me and then Tedd's too - it's not fair and I know people say life isn't fair but that pisses me off.  It should be more fair.   They arrested a guy here the other day for raping a 19 month old baby - why can't he have cancer and leave the people alone that are just trying to enjoy their families and live life.  I know my anger isn't logical but I can't help it.  I hate what our lives have become in a few months.  We have always been planners and now I feel like we can't plan for the future and I hate it.

    Seems like friends and family were so concerned in the first couple of weeks and now people just want to hear that everything is fine.  And some family and friends we haven't heard a peep from - and I know they know.

    On top of fearing for the future, we have to worry about owing thousands of dollars in medical bills.  Had the baby last year and then I had skin cancer surgery, then my husband's cancer and then my son's diabetes diagnosis.  We owe more to doctors in this last year than we have in the 21 yrs we've been married.  

    Sorry Rich - I hope you don't mind my venting in your post.  I think I need to go cuddle with the little guy for a while.

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Helen321 said:

    We just had this discussion

    We just had this discussion in our house.  If they cured this, Sloan Kettering wouldn't make any money.  So they find the most expensive way to treat it and keep a certain amount of people alive over time.  The argument was can a conspiracy be that huge, that an entire staff would participate in keeping a certain percentage of people alive for money and ratings.  Hey look, we are up 2% from last year! 

    The other part of the conversation was if there is a cure, why not just charge 50,000 for the cure and outrageous amounts for the vaccine.  I'd pay that in a minute.  I'd have to pay it in installments, but I'd pay it.  And just how much a year is really collected from all of these "fundraisers" for the cure and where is the money exactly going?  I think the cynical NYer in me makes me wonder these things.  In my mind, everyone is always trying to run a scam.  My sister debated that you have to trust someone, an entire team of researchers would not be willing to participate in a conspiracy.  Someone with a conscience would spill the beans to which I replied, yes but what if that someone suddenly got hit by a taxi the next day.  The conspiracy just gets deeper and deeper.

    Haha...do you watch a lot of

    Haha...do you watch a lot of crime tv shows?  :)   It's funny but I feel like my mother-in-law.  I couldn't understand why she didn't support us when we did the cancer walks and stuff.  She worked as a nurse and always was skeptical of how the money was spent - I now understand her thinking!

  • richls
    richls Member Posts: 54
    jen2012 said:

    Thanks Craig - you are

    Thanks Craig - you are right.  It just seems there is so much pressure to stay positive and that is so hard to do sometimes.  It pisses me off that good people have to deal with this stuff.  Vicki's post the other day really bothered me and then Tedd's too - it's not fair and I know people say life isn't fair but that pisses me off.  It should be more fair.   They arrested a guy here the other day for raping a 19 month old baby - why can't he have cancer and leave the people alone that are just trying to enjoy their families and live life.  I know my anger isn't logical but I can't help it.  I hate what our lives have become in a few months.  We have always been planners and now I feel like we can't plan for the future and I hate it.

    Seems like friends and family were so concerned in the first couple of weeks and now people just want to hear that everything is fine.  And some family and friends we haven't heard a peep from - and I know they know.

    On top of fearing for the future, we have to worry about owing thousands of dollars in medical bills.  Had the baby last year and then I had skin cancer surgery, then my husband's cancer and then my son's diabetes diagnosis.  We owe more to doctors in this last year than we have in the 21 yrs we've been married.  

    Sorry Rich - I hope you don't mind my venting in your post.  I think I need to go cuddle with the little guy for a while.

    its ok jen

    I understand. You have been through alot, you have the right to be angry. In the beginning her onc told us she would have four treatments of chemo, then be on a pill. Everyone thought she would be cured after four treatments and couldnt understand why she needs more.