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Sad news

Posts: 395
Joined: Jul 2009

Tom has been in the hospital since Sat. after he fell. This is one of the many times since October he has been hospitalized. He lost a huge amount of weight and finally agreed to a feeding tube. He was fine this morning when I was there.  I've been sick so talking on the phone has been the what we've been doing.


I don't know if this caused his probelm but a friend brought him a sundae and he couldn't swallow which caused a panic attack.  Our son was there at the time.  Not two hours later I got a call from our hospital that apparently he aspirated the ice cream.  His breathing was horrible and his heart rate out of control.  Our plans were 20 days in skilled nursing facility to see if he could get stronger. He has a DNR and they want to put him on a ventilator and I said no.  He didn't want that and my son and I hurried to the hospital with his Health Directive.

He really didn't know what was happening.  Not long after his doctor arrived our pcp and said he concurs with the DNR that he won't make it.  His oxygen levels have fallen and CO2 have risen.  His heart is faltering. If he lasts through the night they will see if they have a room at Riley House, Hospice.  His PCP doesn't want him home because he said I couldn't take care of him like he is.

This was extremely sudden. I knew it would happen.  I could see it happen we just did the best we could.

He did fine until this Fall.  The last round of chemo did him in but he wouldn't give in.

But during the time he had that was good, we went to Alaska, to see the grand kids and Las Vegas and Floriday.

Please pray that the end will be peaceful for him, he like all the others with EC has suffered enough.





Posts: 56
Joined: Sep 2009

Hi Jan, you and I have been helping our "sweeties" for some time now.  I don't know what to say except that I was so sad to see your post and will keep lots of positive thoughts going your way for you, Tom, and your family. It is hard to think about how quickly status changes with EC. Hope you are doing OK through this. May you take comfort in everything you were able to do together since his Tom's diagnosis. Keep us posted and please know that there are many here who care about you and Tom!  

paul61's picture
Posts: 1262
Joined: Apr 2010


 I am so sorry to hear this latest turn of events. I know you  and Tom have had a long journey with many ups and downs. I am glad that over the last 18 months he did have some time where he felt well enough for you to do some traveling. I will be praying for a peaceful transition for Tom.


 Paul Adams

McCormick, South Carolina

DX 10/2009 T2N1M0  Stage IIB - Ivor Lewis Surgery  12/3/2009 - Post Surgery Chemotherapy 2/2009 – 6/2009

Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU - Three Year Survivor 

Donna70's picture
Posts: 921
Joined: Aug 2009

Dear Jan,

So sad to see this. I am glad that you and Tom did get to travel and do so many good things together, but sad that you didn't get more time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Tom and your family. This is so hard and you are so brave, sticking with a DNR is not always an easy thing but I have been there with my brother and it is a necessary step. many hugs and many wishes that this will be a peaceful and loving time. take care,


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