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"You don't have to do that."

Doc_Hawk's picture
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

Recently a friend of mine sent me a pair of those colorful, wooly socks that are so popular these days.  She said that she was going to send me a pair every month.  My first thought was to tell her "you don't have to do that" then it occured to me that maybe she did.  She lives in New Jersey and all she can really do is sit on the sidelines and offer words of encouragement.  Now, with the socks, she is actively participating in my fight by sending something which will offer me comfort.  It reminds me of when I was a kid and there were ads on TV on how to survive a nuclear attack.  Duck and cover sure wouldn't save us, but it made us feel like there was something we could do.  This is the same thing as those ads.

I encourage anyone to accept these small gestures from others not only because it will give us comfort, but it also over powers the feeling of helplessness and empowers them to help us in our battle.  Every little action does help.


God Bless



steveandnat's picture
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

That is sotrue my reaction is to say that's okay. Thank goodness we have people who want tuh help and be there for us.  Jeff

dmj101's picture
Posts: 527
Joined: Nov 2011


I have problems accepting things too from others.

The social worker a the hospital when I first became ill with this told me we have to let others do what they want or can as it is not only for you - it is for them too..

I am a giver.. I don't recieve easily..

In Jersey the wool socks sound pretty cozy right now too me.. it is snowing again and will be significant today and then again over the weekend.

Stay warm,


Varmint5's picture
Posts: 384
Joined: Feb 2012

Doc, this is great, and you are so right. Shortly after my daughter was diagnosed a group of their friends showed up with rakes and shovels and went to work on their lawn. I remember somebody saying, "They don't have to do this," and somebody else saying, "They need to do this." It made them feel like they were doing something when they felt powerless to help. You are so right. I think it's hard for many of us to accept nice gestures from others. But we need to remember to let them help in their way, as much for them as for us. Good message here.


Posts: 1607
Joined: Aug 2012

That is great Ray. We typically get "what can I do?" Our standard answer is prayers...what can you say?

Enjoy your socks...and friendship!

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