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Update On My Husband

wolfen's picture
Posts: 1313
Joined: Apr 2009

My hubby remains in the hospital. So many different doctors and nurses coming and going, I've lost count.

His renal failure is improving slightly, but he now has a bladder infection which is being treated. They have removed some of the myriad of medications which he normally takes. They are using a different insulin(one he used to take) that is not as effective as his current ones, so his blood sugars are running a little high. He is still eating very small amounts. I tasted some of the stuff they bring him. I wouldn't feed it to a stray dog.

Although the renal failure is a big problem, the heart now appears to have a growth of some sort on one of the valves. So, sometime in the next three days, a chemical stress test as well as a more invasive echocardiogram involving an endoscope will be done, provided that the tongue tumor will allow it.

It's possible that the MDA oncologist which we consulted will become involved as MDA in Arizona is associated with the Banner Health System as is the hospital where hubby is.

He is very depressed and frightened at this point and so afraid that his cancer will be untreatable by the time his other problems have been resolved, providing the doctors can figure this all out.

His brother visited tonight and I could have smacked him. He does have mental problems, so you have to give him some leeway where social graces are concerned . He is definitely a "Me, Me, Me" personality. When hubby told him there was a possibility that he might not come out of this and that he loved him very much, his brother responded by asking if he could have a small statue that their father had given to him and could he go to our house now and get it. My hubby was so hurt and shocked that he told him yes. He left a few minutes later, and sure enough, when I got home it was gone. Talk about being rude and unfeeling.

So we are taking it one day at a time. I am very alone, except for my son and grandson nearby, who also visited for the second time today. I am trying to remain upbeat and positive for both of us.



CivilMatt's picture
Posts: 4317
Joined: May 2012


I hope the doctors figure things out in your husbands favor. I would be depressed and frightened with so much unknown.

It is too bad about his brother at least you knew he was mental (me, me, me). You just can’t know how folks will respond.

One day at a time sounds like a good plan for the time being, while your doctors are still working things out.

My hopes and prayers are with you.



wolfen's picture
Posts: 1313
Joined: Apr 2009

Thanks so much for your replies and encouragement.

I really hated to post my "downer" stuff, especially when most everyone is trying to enjoy the holidays.

Yes, Vivian, I'm sure we're related. In reality, we're probably related to a lot of others who have that one "relative" we would gladly do wothout.

As for food, he is on what is called a "renal diet". Reading the short menu yesterday, it allows various types of cereal, but he can have no milk. So, go figure. They would probably frown on me sneaking food in. He's been served food in many hospitals, but I'll have to say that the food here is the worst. I couldn't even stomach the stuff in the cafeteria, so I started bringing something from home.

Heading back to the hospital in a little bit and will update again when I know more.



phrannie51's picture
Posts: 4673
Joined: Mar 2012

for many of us, there was a pretty decent gap between diagnosis and the beginning of treatment....not a single one of us was calm about the hurry up and wait part of this. I was 5 weeks out of my diagnosis when they put my port in and knicked my lung. That took a week in the hospital to heal...then I had to wait till the next week to start chemo....total of nearly 7 weeks between diagnosis and beginning of treatment. I think Tonsil Dad had nearly a 4 month gap between diagnosis and the beginning of treatment....He needs to be as healthy as he can be to go into treatment, so getting these other things addressed is important. Many people on here told me the waiting part, and the anxiety it generates was the hardest part of treatment...and it was, emotionally anyway....

Your BIL sounds like a real turd...I am so SO sorry your hubby had to go thru that....mental problems or not. There's a good chance your hubby will outlive him and have the opportunity to ask for the statue back....I hope that's the case!!


Posts: 1914
Joined: May 2012

hey there ! You have your hands full enough without having inference from within the family. Give that one to someone else that can deal with it for you and the hubby. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this time. Is it possible for you to bring some decent food in ? Probably not depending on B/S and kidney issues...but ask any way. Katie

Pam M's picture
Pam M
Posts: 2196
Joined: Nov 2009

What a strain! How awful for the two of you to have to deal with your bil on top of everything else. Hoping for good things for you.

VivianLee5689's picture
Posts: 546
Joined: Aug 2012

I know how hard this must be for you. It is so hard to balance everything when things are chaotic and emotional. The family issues I get too (Are you related to me? LOL). I am learning to let go of those who aren't supportive to me and David. I need people in my corner who want the best for us. I think that is what you need too. Thankfully at least you have all of us. This family loves you and your hubby. Try to not worry so much. I learned it doesn't change the outcome. It just can make you sick. We love you and are praying for better days for you two.

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