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What now? After treament

Posts: 15
Joined: Apr 2012

I'm young, only 26, newly married with a toddler. I was diagnosed with VIN3 and anal cancer in Feb' 12. I have since completed both radiation and chemotherapy (Jul' 12), as well as a vulvectomy back in April 12'.
It's been over 6 months and my husband and I are still unable to have sex. I tear every time. It's not a matter of being to "dry" but rather that it just doesn't fit any longer. They gave me the dilators but they have not helped at all. Emotionally I cannot take it any longer and neither can my relationship. I haven't had a period since July, and I at this point I just don't feel very womanly anymore.

Have you gone through this? What did you do? Are there any sort of "creams" or "gels" that would help or will I need another surgery?

Posts: 476
Joined: Jan 2012

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. You are so young and with a new family. If your love for one another is strong, then patience will be your best friend. If you are tarring at an attempt at intercourse, then you need to speak to your doctor. I do not know if you are is surgical or radiation induced menopause, but scar tissue and lack of lubrication will be an issue. Using a dilator and slowly advancing in sizes will help help make normal sexual intimacy possible again without such trauma. If your husband loves you and is willing to help you through this major life altering event in your life, then slowly you will find this intimacy become comfortable and more normal. Do not feel bad about needing to take this time. Not only have the hormones changed but life as you know it has changed. His compassion, patience and understanding are in order. Please remember we are more than just sex, hormones, ovaries. It is hard. It is a loss. But it is not an end. You will overcome this. HUGS!

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