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Radiation mock up?

Posts: 92
Joined: Sep 2012

Is that what it is called? Anyway I got the tatoo's and markers but the marker washed off already. I swear, I DID NOT RUB! Now they said I have to go to a pretend session and get a mammogram at the same time. Then I am supposed to start the radiation the day after if all is well. Did anyone else have this? Or is it because I had to change facilities and the transfer of info? I feel better with the chemo out of my system and the breast healing well. I am almost back to normal I think...and I sure am not looking forward to being tired again.

Also, does anyone else feel broken afterwards? I am not the same somehow. If anyone suggests anti-depressants I am going to crawl thru these cyber lines and get you...(be forewarned)

Love you all and wish for you to be with me now. I don't have any family. My daughter left me high and dry after one visit during chemo. It is not something I can forget easily.


Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

Kay, I just got the tattoo's. I didn't have any marking done on me. I had the "simulation" done on my first visit to the Cancer Center, in the room where I would be getting my rad treatments. I had previously had a CAT scan for the computer set up. The simulation took about an hour, maybe a little longer. After that, the rad treatments went very fast...a few minutes each time.

Sorry to say but rads will wear you out. I got exhausted from them, and, even found myself taking lots of naps during the day. There is a good post here about lots of info on rads, like not to take any vitamins and to only use aluminum free deodorant and stuff like that.

I don't feel broken Kay and I am so sorry that you do. I am just living my life to the fullest, the best that I can and grateful that I am still here to do that.

Very sorry about your daughter leaving,


JWren's picture
Posts: 12
Joined: Oct 2012

My first round of radiation 10 years ago, they did permanent tattoos on me, this time I was hoping they would use the old ones... Wrong again. Whole nother round, but they put tape on top of them so they didn't wash off for weeks. I also agree, the radiation exhausted me. For several weeks after, I napped.

KAL89's picture
Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2012

Hi - I am new here and newly diagnosed.

I actually just got home from getting my tattoos today. They did a CT scan today, marked up with a sharpie and then the tats. Now I go next week for a trial run and then start treatments the next day.

I have to have 30 treatments total - and am currently on the hunt for a wireless bra, as I have been told I cannot wear one with a wire.

Any suggestions?

Thanks - Kathy

Posts: 4376
Joined: Jun 2009

I was told also to not wire an underwire bra, but, I did for awhile. You can wear a camisole, or, buy a cheap cotton bra in WalMart, Penney's, Target, lots of places. No sense in spending a lot of money on one. Or, if your Cancer center has a gift shop, maybe they can help you.

After awhile, I quit wearing a bra. My skin was getting tender and then it started getting red, so, I just went without anything.

Good luck!


AngieD's picture
Posts: 504
Joined: Sep 2011

Bras without underwires are heavenly! Who knew? I got a couple of camisoles with built in soft shelf bras and a couple on cheap wire free bras from Walmart. I finished radiation the end of August and I still wear them. I tried one of my old underwires last week and it really felt awful.

And Kay, why are you coming to get me for mentioning anti- depressants? All I'm gonna say is, our PCP recommended them for both of us when my husband was diagnosed with EC in June of 2011. Then, of course, I got the BC diagnosis last Dec. Our doc said most folks need help dealing with all the many aspects of cancer and it's treatment. I know they have surely helped me. Just saying---


Posts: 92
Joined: Sep 2012

1. They can't make my son come back
2. They can't make my daughter care about me
3. They can't make my employer stop thinking about his insurance premiums when he looks at me.
4. They make me nauseous

They feel like a medical band-aid to apply to my spiritual heartbreak. What i really need is some kind of spiritual chemo. Do you understand? I am glad they work for so many though...just not for me.

Posts: 1255
Joined: Oct 2011

I like that term and will probably re-use it if ok! Keep in mind, what works for one is not always what works for another. I'll put my story in a nutshell; In Feb. 2011 I began treatment for Stage3B Anal Cancer (colostomy surgery, 6wks daily radiation to pelvis, chemo), at my 1yr PET scan diagnosed with Secretory Carcinoma of the breast, 3wks later a double mastectomy and now on Anastrozole for 5-7yrs?? During all this my husband was undergoing a bone marrow transplant for Multiple Myeloma (a blood cancer), in a hospital 3hrs from home. I also have 3kids in the military and one was on tour in Afganistan and we had no contact because of where he was, (his wife was pregnant with baby #2)....I could go on but thats a pretty big nutshell!! What I wanted to get at was that if anyone needed an anti-depressant it was probably me, but I too, like you did not want! I made it through without, but if had to do over again would probably give it a try. It was not only the most physically draining time of my life, but my emotions were...well you can imagine! I have always been a prayerful person and think that God got no rest in the past year and a half! That being said, I am doing well now....so there is your spiritual chemo. It is available 24/7 at no charge. I will have you in my thoughts and prayers for healing inside and out.

Posts: 92
Joined: Sep 2012


Noel's picture
Posts: 3100
Joined: Apr 2009

I am so sorry that you're feeling this way, and, I understand that you don't want to read the word or hear of antidepressants. Could you see someone in the religious field, a priest possibly? Or, have you thought of some counseling? I hate reading how you are feeling.

I also want to say good luck with rads,


Posts: 3660
Joined: Aug 2009

I too will not/cannot take anti-depressants. For me - they do take away the depression but they take ALL feelings away and I just become a total veg. That's far worse than dealing with some negative feelings and beating them.

(Reminder to self - increase Vit D tonight. I deal withSAD [Seasonal Affective Disorder] but can keep it under control with my light box and extra D and B complex during winter.) Depending on where you live you might get some relief (at least more energy) by adding a light box, and more Vit D and B complex during winter. But talk to your Dr about it before trying.

I never took Hubby or Son to any of my 16 chemo or rads. There was no way that I wanted either of them to be sitting there watching the nasty chemo be pumped into my body. So I took myself to all TX happily. They would either or both gone with me if I had asked and they did get permission from the companies they worked for at the time to carry their cells turned on (against company policy) on days I had chemo 'just in case'. Don't be too hard on your daughter - it would be horrible to have to be there watching 'stuff' being forced into your body that is in effect killing you so that you can live. Also, on the 12 weekly Taxol, as soon as the IV Benadryl started I would go 'nighty-night until about 20 minutes before it was done so wouldn't have known if anyone was there or not for the most part anyway.

Better quite rambling on and go vote!

Winyan - The Power Within


DebbyM's picture
Posts: 3293
Joined: Oct 2009

Camisoles are great to wear as you really only want something soft next to your skin after awhile, if you want to wear something. Or like the others said, a cheap cotton bra at any department store would do.

Best of luck!

Tux's picture
Posts: 546
Joined: Aug 2009

I purchased cotton "Just My Size" bras from Walmart, Mejier, K-Mart--Can't remember which.
Nurse said to go up a size or 2 & I did. Comfy bras that I wore daily for the duration & for
a while afterward. I was a middle-school teacher at the time, so going braless was not an option.
(LOL) Good luck!

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

Have you started rads yet? How are you doing?

Hugs, Megan

salls41's picture
Posts: 340
Joined: Apr 2012

If you can do it, come on thru and smack the fire out of me and I will hug you! My dear friend Kay, you MUST do something!You need to get some emotional relief before getting into the rads. They will be dragging you down even more. You have more going on than the cancer in your life. I know finances suck right now, but maybe you can plan a vacation for after Rads..something you can really look forward too? Have you tried meditation or yoga?

Lynn Smith
Posts: 1265
Joined: Mar 2011

I'm like you.No depressents.I can't help it.When I went cold turkey off caffeine pop my heart went berserk.My heart meds were not working for a whole day like they should.I had to get another pill within 12 hours.I called my heart doctor for tests.Nothing wrong with me.It had to be something??? I went through what I did different lately.It was the caffeine pop I went off.It was horrible.My heart rate was almost 140 beats a minute.As soon as I took my heart pill things were better. SO when they say you need antidepressent but go off gradual it doesn't make me feel secure it will be that easy for me.My heart races even if I get dehydrated with the flu.

Everyone's body is different.Mine just happens to be that way.I Have a friend who is the same way.She has tachycardia also and is a breast cancer survivor. She won't take antidepressants either.

I did one session of meditation and it helped.It's something you can do at home.

Also I asked my doctor for a antidepressent pill that wasn't habit forming but she said those won't work.

Lynn Smith

Posts: 110
Joined: Oct 2012

that "antidepressants that are not habit forming do not work." I absolutely disagree. I have been on Prozac for years and I can tell you it DOES work, and it works WELL, and it doesn't make you a Zombie. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of friends and family who have been on them from time to time and when they started taking the meds they noticed NO DIFFERENCE....their friends and family noticed the difference first. It's not like taking a "happy pill". It's more like you've been bashing your head against a wall constantly, and then you stop. You don't feel like singing and dancing, but the pain is suddenly GONE. And there are so many out there now, you are much more likely to find something that works well for you. My mother-in-law has been in a deep depression for a year and we took her to the doctor and they put her on Lexapro for a month. It didn't seem to do anything, so he switched her to Cymbalta, and I'VE noticed a huge difference. I don't think SHE has noticed. It's THAT subtle.

Angie2U's picture
Posts: 2992
Joined: Sep 2009

Kay, I haven't seen you post in a very long time. Wondering like the others how you are.

Hugs, Angie

Posts: 6587
Joined: Oct 2010

My treatment center calls it DRY RUN...


Alexis F's picture
Alexis F
Posts: 3602
Joined: May 2009

Did you start rads and how are you doing with them?


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