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Well my time has come

Posts: 660
Joined: Mar 2012

I will be going in on Wednesday Oct 3rd to get my 1st CT scan. Yes I have said before in other blogs that Im dealing with Scanxiety that we all talk about, I was blessed to get thru this battle in pretty good shape. As some of you know since my wife posted this information way back when I started treatment in a blog that I use a wheelchair from Polio although I use crutches to get around the house, garage, to get in an out of Van etc. I had to decide on the PEG tube or a Port and how it might effect my abilities to use crutches and wheelchair. Well I chose not to use a PEG or port, the port had me concerned because I knew without it I would be having my arms poked many times, and since they are what I use to get around that was a big concern, the PEG to was a concern because I did not want to affect the treatment plan with malnutrition issues. Well here I am 8 weeks out and as you likely know I made it without both items, I lost 35 lbs and needless to say a few arm bruses but that was ok. This is not to say one way or the other about the PEG or Port, its simply FYI of my decision based on my circumstances. The treatments were tough, RADS were crazy tough, and we all know how I thought NO WAY on the MASK but again made it. I guess the excessive rambling is just to say the fight was tough and I was blessed to get thru it and yes the fight was worth it, but now I just feel I need to hear those 3 beautiful letters NED, not that I deserve it, I just want it. I have said when I was 1st dx it was tough to hear but after the shock and with help from this site I knew it was time to fight and get rid of this cancer, and thats exactly what I am praying we did. I know from both this site and personal experience that there are no guarantees with cancer and sadly a few NEDS have turned south on folks. So I just want to hear NED for now and know that I won the fight and can now relax (until the next CT/PET LOL) because in all honesty Im not sure I could fight this battle again. So thanks to all of you that have supported Diane and I thru the last 6 months and if I may request your prayers and support for a good outcome it will be appreciated.

MarineE5's picture
Posts: 907
Joined: Dec 2005

Prayers Outbound...

Posts: 660
Joined: Mar 2012

I appreciate your prayers, we may have just posted the longest and shortest responses in awhile.

MarineE5's picture
Posts: 907
Joined: Dec 2005

: )

Posts: 134
Joined: May 2012

On Wednesday and forever after. Prayers sent your way.


Posts: 660
Joined: Mar 2012

I appreciate it Deb

Posts: 1914
Joined: May 2012

Hey there !
You have come through the trenches, and deserve the NED factor forever and a day ! I will be thinking of you both come the 3rd. Prayers being sent your way ! Katie

ToBeGolden's picture
Posts: 695
Joined: Aug 2010

that makes it to the end of treatment is a great success. Each one that makes it to the end of a treatment session offers encouragement to those still on the road. Now we hope you can be free of the need for further treatments. Rick.

phrannie51's picture
Posts: 4672
Joined: Mar 2012

you are ahead of me by a long shot on being first to get your scans...You know I will tuck you into my pocket and send prayers and positive thoughts your way. I can feel it in my gut, tho...that you are going to be hearing those beautiful words...NED...

Here's to a perfect outcome this time....and many MANY more in the future...


Tim6003's picture
Posts: 1508
Joined: Nov 2011

AND got you tucked in my pocket....and soon you will be OFF that bus!!!! :) :)



Billie67's picture
Posts: 843
Joined: Jul 2012

I just had my scans last week so it's safe to say I know what you are going thru. I hope you will be able to relax and stay positive and before you know it, you'll hear the best three letters ever.....NED
Please do keep us posted so we can celebrate with you.

CivilMatt's picture
Posts: 4300
Joined: May 2012

Hi ditto1,

I’ve got you all penciled in for prayers and support tonight. I appreciated the brief run down on yourself and your treatment, very heartfelt for sure. I can mostly remember you and Phrannie climbing on the bus and comparing notes and I hear you loud and clear about not being a fan of the mask (neither was I).

Here’s to a clean scan on Wednesday, sometimes known affectionately as NED.



tuffenuff's picture
Posts: 277
Joined: May 2012

Praying for you and your loved ones.

Laralyn's picture
Posts: 528
Joined: Apr 2012

I haven't posted an update in a while, but I will soon. Instead, I've been quietly reading, rooting and praying for everyone. But your post moved me to break my silence.

You said: I just feel I need to hear those 3 beautiful letters NED, not that I deserve it, I just want it.

You DO deserve it. We all do. Each and every one of us. It breaks my heart when one of us fights so hard and for some reason doesn't get to hear that. But we ALL deserve it. So you go into that appointment with your head held high--you've been through something life-changing and difficult. You deserve every bit of success, joy and peace of mind that God can give you.

I'll be thinking of you (and everyone going through this).

VivianLee5689's picture
Posts: 546
Joined: Aug 2012

You have come a long way and I look forward to celebrating your NED with you.

Skiffin16's picture
Posts: 8286
Joined: Sep 2009

Yep, you have earned a NED, and have the battle scars to prove it....

Hopefully you'll get to hear NED or equivalent as some MD's don't actually tell you the exact words.

Not to give you excess and unwarranted scanxiety, but a few early scans can show some residual.

Hopefully, you won't have to worry about that and you'll get the report that you want, and fought for.

Thoughts, Prayers, Hopes and Dreams,

Tonsil Dad's picture
Tonsil Dad
Posts: 489
Joined: Dec 2011

Praying you receive the best three letters in the alphabet.......NED.

God bless
Tonsil dad,


hwt's picture
Posts: 2330
Joined: Jun 2012

I'm thinking back to my first CT w/contrast and getting that NED report. I thought about how I had lost site of the goal during the tough tx. When I heard NED it all became worth it. My 1st PET is this Friday. I will include you in my prayers.


Laralyn, nice to see your post. Have had you on my mind hoping all is good for you.

osmotar's picture
Posts: 1005
Joined: Jul 2011

Only good mojo my friend...blessings and light coming your way.


Posts: 660
Joined: Mar 2012

so much. I have to say that you folks are just so special to me. I have been blessed to have found you. Will post tommorrow with the results.

Pam M's picture
Pam M
Posts: 2196
Joined: Nov 2009

Hoping you pass those tests with flying colors!

Oh - and don't forget to gorge on the water after the tests.

fisrpotpe's picture
Posts: 1349
Joined: Aug 2010

both you and your wife are in my prayers

i hear NED knocking on your door


offutt9's picture
Posts: 88
Joined: Jan 2004

My thoughts and prayers go up for you and your family...Praying for a NED very soon...In Gods Love...Barbara

blackswampboy's picture
Posts: 341
Joined: Jul 2012

wow, did I ever misinterpret your title!
thought it meant the worst--that the bell was tolling for you (in a John Donne way).

needless to say, glad that you'll be with us for a long while. the scanxiety will pass.

my PET last week still showed a 'hot spot' in my throat--so no NED yet for me. but the docs reckon it's still the rads. I'm not gonna worry about it until they give me conclusively bad news.

Paintslinger's picture
Posts: 70
Joined: Jun 2012

Consider it done. I wish you all the best (sincerely)

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