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Depression getting deeper, will to keep fighting getting stronger?

ManWithaMission's picture
Posts: 497
Joined: Sep 2008

Sounds like a contratiction of fellings,don't it. Well,that's how I've been felling since my Hip Surgery in July. August,found a lesion to femer bone. July 3rd, rod in femer to stablize for rads. July 18th, 2 weeks radiation(low dose). Oncoligest changed my harmone treatment from Famera to FASLODEX shots. First (two) shots were July 19th, along with Zometa infusion. You get two shots in the upper buttocks,then come back in two weeks for two more and then it's two shots once a month after that.

Now,Sept. 23rd,found a new lesion in my neck. It started out as a stiff neck,tryed putting heat on it and that just made it worse. Then tryed an ice pack,that didn't help the pain either. So now I have to have more radiation to my neck and my onc wants to try another estrogen blocker or just start a new chemo.

If it isn't one thing with this "beast", it's another, all piling on top of each other at the same time. See,the wife and I had (non-trasferable & non-refundable) airline tickets to Pensacola,Fl to see my new grandson starting October 3rd through the 9th. ALL my Doctors said I can't go! I sure hope that fate or Karma or whatever are having a good laugh on me again!

What's that old saying from "HeeHaw";"If it wern't for bad luck,I'd have no luck at all! Gloom,dispair,agony on me." Laughing Way Out Loud!!!!!


CypressCynthia's picture
Posts: 4014
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry to hear this. I have missed your posts, but am sorry you are posting with this news :-( But I love your fighting spirit!!!

BTW, I am on faslodex and xgeva. I was on zometa but I asked my onc about xgeva, because 1) no kidney worries with xgeva and 2) it is a subq (shallow) injection in the arm given once a month, so no iv's and no waiting. Studies have deemed xgeva as or more effective than zometa, but it is more expensive (not a big deal with most insurers).

Also, my onc of 25 years mentioned that if faslodex is not working, he would next add afinitor, because he has seen really good results with this drug. He said main side effect was mouth sores, but they go away if you stay the course. Ask your onc cuz I admit I don't have any idea if the treatment for men is different.

Wondering if you call the @#$% airlines if they might give you a break? Especially if you have documentation? Probably not, the @##$@%*'s.

Big hugs and prayers!

CypressCynthia's picture
Posts: 4014
Joined: Oct 2009

Sending references separately because lately my computer has been freezing up when I copy and paste. Don't know what that is about, but it is really cramping my style...lol

Denosumab Superior to Zoledronic Acid for Breast Cancer Patients With Bone Metastases


Everolimus (Afinitor)


ManWithaMission's picture
Posts: 497
Joined: Sep 2008

Yea, my wife called them and they said if we get a Doctors note explaining the situation,that we can re-schedule our flight dates without an additional charge. Only problem right now is that everything is up in the air. I see the Rad Onc monday @ 8am(didn't anyone tell them I don't get up till 11am)(LOL) when I will find out how long and how much radiation.

Also,won't see my Onc till my next appointment on October 11th,when she will have decided what she will do with me? Like you said, treatment is different for men. I told her I would LOVE to be her gunnie pig!LOL!

Thanks for the web sites,too. I don't know if I will go to them right now because too much knowledge makes me too nervous and worry way too much.

Pink Bro

CypressCynthia's picture
Posts: 4014
Joined: Oct 2009

Please also know that anxiety and depression are much more common in all cancer patients. Your oncologist knows this and, if you are too down, let him know. He/she will know what meds to take to help and will also know what meds are compatible with your teatments.

CypressCynthia's picture
Posts: 4014
Joined: Oct 2009

P.S. Here is the link re cancer and depression/anxiety from the NCI. The fact that depression is occurring in about 1 in 4 survivors is a mind-boggling statistic to me. Do not let it get out of control.

When I finally went to see a psychiatrist, I was boo hooing, anxious, and down and had no idea what was wrong with me. It just couldn't be the most obvious diagnosis-depression. Two weeks after treatment, I swear the sky looked physically bluer and I don't think I was hallucinating. I shared this with my psychiatrist and we laughed, but she said she understood exactly what I meant and others had shared the same sentiment.

If you do start an antidepressant (which are actually the treatment of choice for most anxiety disorders), know that there can be an adjustment period of 2-4 weeks where you feel a little worse and you may need additional medication coverage for this period.

If I sound like an authority, I'm not. But my older sister is a psychiatrist in Seattle and she really knows her meds! Feel free to pm me. Big (((hugs))) and I am glad you are back with us, even though, as I said before, I am so very sorry for the reason. Hang in there!

Kylez's picture
Posts: 3765
Joined: May 2009

Your name on here says it all, Man with a Mission! You keep fighting and keep a positive attitude!

Hugs, Kylez

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

I am so sorry Robert. I hate cancer!!!! Maybe if you contact the airlines and explain all of this to them, they will make an exception with your tickets. I hope so and please keep fighting!

Hugs, Megan

New Flower
Posts: 4299
Joined: Aug 2009

Having 10 lesions myself, I think I understand. There are many options to treat these conditions. Ask for Xgeva , which suppose to promote bone growth.
Please ask your doctors why they did not want you to go? And if you do what precautions should you take making your trip successful.

Posts: 2515
Joined: May 2009

So sorry to hear this news.....yes, cancer is the "gift" that keeps on giving....it sucks! If you feel up to it, why are the docs saying you can't go? I've gotten to the point I tell my docs what I AM going to do and not do...after all, it's our life and we make all final decisions concerning what we feel is best for us...my oncologist actually calls me "Sassy".....I have scans coming up in October (scanxiety) I told them fine but I wasn't going to drink that awful, two bottles of "stuff"...if you do go get a letter from your onco detailing the "metal" you have...and don't go through the scanner...let them pat you down, if needed...

We have a trip that's been planned for months, for Feb....to the Dominican Republic, tickets secured, etc...but since we didn't know if I will be okay to go, I think I will, providing the scans are okay, we spent an extra $180.00 for trip insurance...my brother law and wife are going too, they're both healthy but also bought the insurance....as we all know life can change in the blink of an eye....I have a port and since it sticks out like a sore thumb due to my losing 36 pounds, those pesky security people may think ut oh we've got a problem....so I will take a letter with me....

Robert, are you taking anything for the depression...if not, please ask for something...no shame in asking for help....I'd bet at least 80% of us on this board take something....it helps...

Please keep us posted, we care, our brother in pink....
Hugs, Nancy

ManWithaMission's picture
Posts: 497
Joined: Sep 2008

Their only comment was that if something were to happen(like if my disks were to move suddenly,pinching the spinal cord),I would only have strangers to treat me and not someone who knows my coditions. It kind of makes sense.


camul's picture
Posts: 2541
Joined: Dec 2010

So sorry to hear this news. There is no other way to describe this disease it sucks and sometimes no matter how hard we fight the tumors just don't respond. I was so disappointed in March when I was told I could not go on the trip with my family. I was so looking forward to it.

This really is a roller coaster ride. I am on Xgeva every 4 weeks and will be most likely starting the chemo combo that CC mentioned. This was the option given to me. The doctor feels it will be easier on my immune system. I was also changed over to Evista for the blocker as Tamoxifen was toxic to my system. Every-time I walk through a doctors door, I feel as though something has changed!

I hope all of this goes well for you and you get to Pensacola so see that new baby soon!!


Posts: 4376
Joined: Jun 2009

Sending lots of hugs to you Robert. I'm sad and so sorry that you can't go on your trip as planned.

Hugs, Jan

Posts: 601
Joined: Mar 2004

I know that I am totally off key in saying this as you should trust your doctors but I feel I have to for some reason. I think they are fear mongers, perhaps with good intention but fear mongers none the less. It would be a cold day in $$$$ when someone would tell me what to do, but that is just me. They couldn't recommend anyone in the area where you are going????? I'm sorry if I offended you or anybody else but as I said it is just my opinion.


Alexis F's picture
Alexis F
Posts: 3602
Joined: May 2009

Oh Robert, I am very sorry to know how you are feeling and to read that you can't go see your grandbaby. I've missed you on the site. You're always the first to post happy birthday to everyone.

Just know that I am cheering you on and praying for you.

Hugs, Lex

Frankie Shannon
Posts: 457
Joined: Oct 2011

Oh Robert i am so sorry with all your problems but more so that you don't get to go and see your new grandson,lets pray the new regiment works for you.It's been a long time since I've heard that old saying it's like when it rains it pours and that's what it sounds like it's doing for you.My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs Frankie

susie09's picture
Posts: 2933
Joined: Jul 2009

So sorry that you have new health problems and now can't go see your grandson. But, I know you will still get to go see that sweet boy and give him lots of hugs and kisses from his grandpa, just not right now.

Good thoughts and loads of prayers,


SIROD's picture
Posts: 2199
Joined: Jun 2010

Dear Robert,

Wondered why you were not posting and I have missed your posts too. I know how you feel. On my second time around with Faslodex, driving to the cancer center, I kept telling myself that I did not have to do this again, an again. I could just not show up. I am in my 12th year metastatic and just past my 18 year from diagnose. There have been times, that I was very discourage.

Faslodex is a slow hormonal drug, it might not have reached the point where you would have seen results yet. Sometimes it does take 6 months to work on some people.

CC has a good suggestion of Aromasin with Afinitor that has shown a lot of improvement for those of us who are ER+. Might suggest the combo to your oncologist.

I've been reading and participating with online bc boards since 1997, In those years I have come across with men who have this disease. They all seem to be ER+ as they do the hormonal thing, then go on to the chemotherapy. More than likely the chemo will be Taxol if you haven't yet had this drug or Xeloda.

Radiation at this point is palliative, to kill the lesions. You might have 10-15 treatments. It is never as long as the first time around when they hoped to cure you.

"If it weren't for bad luck.... I have used that line myself over the years as so many of my prescription drugs (15 in all) are from side effects from the hormonal drug therapies that have beget other conditions that require other drugs and there is no end to it.

Wishing you the best on the road ahead,


laughs_a_lot's picture
Posts: 1369
Joined: Mar 2011

Considering all you have been through a case of depression is practically a neccessary element of your life or we might begin to think you were Spock from Star Trek. So if you need some help in the form of medication don't hesitate to ask. Depression is something you do not need to "tough it through". The fact that you are alive and wishing to kick with that messed up leg of yours is something you should probably get a purple heart or at least the medal of honor for. It's just that we don't get them in the cancer battle like they do in the military.

Posts: 601
Joined: Mar 2004


Sorry to hear about your recent problems. I'm not sure I understand why you can't travel? Is it because you might miss your shots? Can't they arrange them so you can get them before you go and right when you come back? Just me blabbing on. Anyhow, that cloud above your head has been following me for some time. It's always one issue with me after another, can't catch a break. I too suffer from depression and it's not always easy to cope. I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes it does overwhelm me. I see a therapist but it doesn't always help. Keep your chin up and don't forget we are all here for you.


sea60's picture
Posts: 2618
Joined: May 2010

I hope and pray they nip this in the bud and you can be on your way to see that new baby soon!!

Sending prayers,


VickiSam's picture
Posts: 9085
Joined: Aug 2009

My hear goes out to you my brother in PINK -- my heart goes out to you and your family. Our CC offered some good and sound advise. There is hope, always hope.

You get those 'pink' boxing gloves on .. kick some as$%%% !!!

Continued positive thoughts, and prayers for you.

Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

Vicki Sam

Angie2U's picture
Posts: 2992
Joined: Sep 2009

I pray that you will start feeling better Robert. I hope you know that the pink sisters are all praying for you and rooting you on!

Hugs and prayers,


jnl's picture
Posts: 3873
Joined: May 2009

I kind of understand why your doctors said what they did about your not traveling, but, it just isn't right. You will see that grandbaby though, just not when you had planned.

We're here for you now and always!

Hugs, Leeza

Bella Luna's picture
Bella Luna
Posts: 1579
Joined: Aug 2009

It's been a rough summer for you and your family. Not an easy road to walk but I will pray God give you Strength to endure and Peace of mind and soul.

My best to you and yours.

carkris's picture
Posts: 4554
Joined: Aug 2009

Icant add much to what others have said but big HUGS! we are with you!

Noel's picture
Posts: 3100
Joined: Apr 2009

If you are getting deeper into depression Robert, please talk to your doctor. There are so many meds out there that just might help you. We're right here for you!

Also sending big hugs to you!

ladyg's picture
Posts: 1577
Joined: Apr 2010

I am so sorry to hear all that is happening. If you are getting that depressed you should ask for something to take. I know it is hard to think about taking something for depression but trust me when I say it really does help. I can attest to that first hand.
I will keep you in my thoughts and send you positive energy so you can get to see that baby!


Alexis F's picture
Alexis F
Posts: 3602
Joined: May 2009

Robert, are you on any antidepressants? Perhaps this is something you should discuss with your oncologist. I want you to feel better, mentally and physically. Please talk to your doctor and please keep us updated.

Hugs, Lex

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