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Stage 4 and feeling very alone

Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2012

I think the worse day of my life is taking chemo and returning to an empty house, I was married to a wonderful man and he died from cancer. I want to be thankful just for being alive, but it is very difficult.

debrajo's picture
Posts: 1095
Joined: Sep 2011

don't feel alone. this site has been wonderful for me! There are worse things than coming home to an empty house...like coming home to a house full of people who don;t care! Enjoy your time and get well. Best, debrajo

Posts: 81
Joined: Dec 2012

Thinking of you and sending thoughts of comfort as you go through treatments.

sylvan48's picture
Posts: 6
Joined: Dec 2012

hi strolli, i know how you feel with the loneliness. my twin brother died in may of this year and i miss him every day. i cried for months and i felt so alone. we were close and talked every day. did the same things in life and he was my rock too. i what it feels like to be alone. he died at home in his bed. i am not worrying about returning to a empty bed after treatment because even if there was a wife there i'm too big for her to fit. she would have to have her own bed. i was married once and my wife ended up on the floor so much she got herself another bedroom to sleep in. we are divorced now but we are still friends. we have a daughter 42 years old. i call my surviving brother frequently also other family members who i can run down. I also live in a senior building with lots of seniors. called the Britton Budd on w. surf street in chicago. i think that coming to this forum was a very wise move you made. it shows that you want to live. and I know i am thankful to be alive accept when i am in pain. when i am not in pain i am happy. so what is your pain stroll? whatever it is i think this forum is one of the place to deal with it. don't you think? good luck to you and i am glad you wrote on this forum cause i needed to hear what you had to say. it is good to know i am not alone in my pain. thanks stroll. good luck

FlaLady's picture
Posts: 5
Joined: Mar 2013

I was stage 3A, lung,, the doctors say I am now cancer free but need chemo just in case.  Going thru chemo, but it is hard.  Just bought the wigs.  As a 'senior' 63 single woman, divorce finalized 2 weeks before I got the results of the PET scan, I can say, for me, the hardest time is the evenging/nights.  Yes, it's hard to be alone in the house.  To all of you who have a spouse to help you and support you, appreciate him or her. 

Posts: 6
Joined: Jun 2012

awwww.  dont feel alone.  talk to me if you need someone to talk to.  what kind of cancer do you have?

elpasorudy's picture
Posts: 84
Joined: Jan 2013

My wife died June 1 from an aggressive cancer. We had been married 44 years. The house seems to have lost its soul without her physical presence. But I do have good memories and there are reminders of her throughut the house. I wear her baseball cap from time to time, and it makes me feel closer to her. I share the house with a cat, and have been busy with getting the home in order, sending out thank you cards, taking care of estate and business details and the like. I'm alone, but I don't feel lonely. Not yet anyway. My family is spread out across the United States, but I have good neighbors here in Florida that provide good support. My philosophy is to take one day at a time, be good to yourself, and do the best you can.

Hen's picture
Posts: 14
Joined: Sep 2011

It sounds as though you're on the right track of what will be a journey for you.  God bless you.

Posts: 107
Joined: Feb 2007

I was an only child. My father died in 1993 empysema and mother in 2001, heart.  My closest relation are 4th cousins about my age all with their own families and living way out of state. I'm female, age 57,  55 when diagnosed.    Other than having one cousin as a long distance shoulder to lean on, I was totally solo except for a couple kitties for comfort.  I can understand somewheat how hard it is being all by yourself to deal with things.

I took care of my folks in their later years os I knew I'd be solo at some point and would have to learn sefl reliance. I may even be at times too much in that respect. Prior to my chemo treatments starting, I tried to be prepared as much as possible scoping out grocery deliveries, lawn care, pet caregivers, home assistance/cleaning, etc so I knew who to call.  I know you can't prepare for everything in life "I sure didn't expect to be in the hospital for 2 wks" but I did the best I could.  Thankfully I could do that initially as I didn't have any symptoms, pain, etc. when they found my lymphoma. I also didn't have anyone else's anxiety, etc to "feed" off of so I better emotionally dealing with things.

I have Sjogrens also and had it prior to the lymphoma. It is an autoimmune type disease that also ups your % a bit to get lymphoma but the type you get is usually very treatable and possibly "curable" which I hope it is.  I knew with Sjogrens there were possibilities of "c*&p"  coming down the pike and I would have to accept those & the limitations. 

Posts: 1
Joined: May 2014

Hi Folks I wrote you a message. First time user dont know if i did it correctly!!



Posts: 5
Joined: Feb 2015

We went thur me having I think stage 3 prostrate cancer, dont really know about it if wife wasnt with me. All I know depression will kill a person, I battle it every day but when first being found with cancer was told 3 good yrs maybe. Im a believer in Jesus Christ a knew He controls it all, but we as humans doubt. Writting this 2 & 1/2 yrs out cancer in remisson I still wonder doubt, basically saying live for today hug today see enjoyment today for that all He promised usMy battle with cacer still seems wierd when I say I have cancer since none in my family, so please dont feel alone in this as you see many people have cancer of many types but still cancer is such a mean and dirty word. If I could I would hug you like I do my sisters and let you know we are here for you.

Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2017

my mother who is 80 was just diagnois with cancer in the liver , bones kidneys and breast mbc , i am very leary of the chemo drug and her white blood count dropping so low she gets even more ill, she is a very youthfull 80 year old and always ready to go... they want her to take ibrance has anyone taken this drug before 


JerzyGrrl's picture
Posts: 761
Joined: Jun 2016

BrityJo, for more info, you might try posting your question on the cancer-specifice forum for breast cancer. They'll probably have much more information related to ibrance for treating breast cancer. 

All the best to you and your mom --


Posts: 2
Joined: Oct 2020

Alone and lonely is always hard.

Alone and lonely and sick is next level.

Seek out connections - with family or friends or community or online support groups (wink wink).  To me support groups are a connecting bridge reminding us all of all the survivors and fighters who are out here.

Posts: 4
Joined: Nov 2020

I had stage 4 throat cancer and underwent treatment at the University of Chicago. Great place. I live in northwest Indiana and they were tearing the tollway up at the time I had to drive or be driven up there. Been cancer free for a little over a year and figure I have 3 or 4 years left and i'm trying to enjoy myself with the time I have left. Chemo made me very depressed and I felt like I was living in Hell. A month or 2 after I was done with chemo and 45 rounds of radiation I felt reborn again. Hang in there and you will make it, there's light at the end of the tunnel.


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