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Very little family help

Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2012

My mom started out with lung cancer (Oct 2011), chemo has now quit working and it is bigger than before and spread to her liver. I am my moms only child, I have a half-brother who is here when he can be since he lives out of state, and my half-sister... well, we don't talk. My husband and I have 4 kids, 12 and under. My biggest support comes from my cousin who took care of her mom until the end, my aunt died from cancer. She lives a few hours away so she comes here when she can for weekends. My husband is here for me, of course, but there's just things he doesn't understand and he realizes his limits of understanding my emotions. My family, cousins and remaining aunts and uncles, all know that my mom has 4-6 months to live. No one has asked if I need help. My mom is receiving care from Hospice, she lives with us, she needs help getting out of bed to get to her toilet chair in her room, and my kids and my husband help when they can. My family, except my half-brother and one cousin, haven't called or even stopped by to see her. I understand that knowing someone is dying is painful, I am living it everyday. I don't ask for help, just a call for her or a visitor would be nice.

Posts: 1846
Joined: Aug 2010

From personal experience I know how hard it is to reach for her help when you really need it. Do you or your mom attend church? Call them. Ask hospice about some support groups that might be willing to come in and let you take a walk around the block or just work out in the yard for a few minutes. Your mom might enjoy having a peer to talk with, also.

You have to let people know, mommabear - even people who might want to come by and help out or visit or bring a coffee cake or whatever might feel the time is not right.

Let them know.

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