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We are indeed at home - Thank you all for your comforting calls, posts and support - Freida - thank you so much for posting!

JReed's picture
Posts: 463
Joined: Nov 2011

At 9:00 pm last night we finally got Don home. It was day filled with many bumps in the road. They ordered the wrong machine twice yesterday and the dude had to drive across Ann Arbor literally from the north side to the south side twice - finally I just told the nurse to bring a wheelchair and asked the dude to meet me downstairs and we followed him over to the warehouse and got the correct machine.
Almost everyone of the CBGs were waiting at our house to welcome Don home and help get him settled in and hooked up to the gastric suctioning machine.
The CT scan finally showed where the cancer is. It is pressing on his gastric artery and mesentry something-or-other and that is why he unable to eat.
The doctors gave their best guess at how much time we will have with Don and their guess
is approximately two or maybe one week. The dialysis could maybe only provide another couple of weeks and Don has chosen not to do that. He is hooked up to the machine for four hours a day and then is just completely wiped out for 4 to 8 hours after that and then there is the travel and that would just be very difficult for him.
Don wanted to come home as he became sicker and sicker and we are so happy that he is home after one month of frustrating hospital days and nights.
We built this house together, we were married in this house, our daughter was born and raised in this home - I am happy that Don is here in the comfort of his own home and you could just see the tension and stress leave him as soon as he was settled in.
Today he finally asked for pain medicine and is kind of in and out of dozing even on the smallest dose of meds but at least he is not in pain and that alone is a blessing.
We are blessed to know each of you and have you be part of our lives. Your strength and comfort are very much appreciated by Don, Caitlin and myself. Love to all. FEC

TerryV's picture
Posts: 916
Joined: Jul 2011

Oh Judy....

Sadly the trip home seems to fit right in with the other hassles you guys have had to endure. Just a damn shame that at least that one thing couldn't have gone easily.

Know that you are in our hearts and prayers! Lean on us when you need the extra strength.

We love you. Praying for peace for you both.


unclaw2002's picture
Posts: 664
Joined: Jan 2010


I am so sorry to hear this news. You two have been so brave and strong through all these struggles. I am glad you will be at home together. Let Hospice help and don't forget to ask for any help or support you need. Right now I know you will work day and night to keep Don comfortable. Cherish the moments they are precious.

Hugs and love,

Posts: 391
Joined: Jul 2009

I'm so sad that this is happening. But you are home, Don is home where he wants to be. Take solice in that.

Anonymous user (not verified)

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Posts: 136
Joined: Jul 2012

There is something so special in your home that they two of you built. Sorry to hear the troubles to get you there, but you made it home.
Hugs across the miles, some special moments will still be yours, you are a wonderful couple.
We especially enjoyed the sunrise through the windows.
All our prayers.

Posts: 377
Joined: Oct 2010

Judy you and Don are where you belong. Vince never wanted to go to a major cancer center as he wanted to always be near home.
I remember laying in bed with Vince for the last 3 days of his life. I would not leave him except to bath and eat a bit. People thought I was nuts but I did not want him to go without me there with him. I held his hand and tried to hold him but he was so thin. He died in my arms and that is something I will always cherish.

You have loved Don for many years and you always will. He knows how much you care and that you have been his advocate.

Judy I am so very sorry that this has happened. This fluid and all the other things Don has gone thru are heartbreaking but you are both home and that is what is important.

I love you Judy

barb Rizz

Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2011

You are doing everything correctly. I know how you feel, and the anguish is unbearable. Neal died at home as well, and I have no regrets about that. Keep your focus. Keep him comfortable, and keep talking to him. Talk about your wonderful life together, your daughter, your memories. He can hear you, even if he becomes unresponsive. Prolonging his life on dialysis would have been so painful, exhausting, and ultimately, would not matter. My heart aches for all of you....for you because you don't want to lose Don, for Don because he does not want to leave you and Caitlin, and for Caitlin, who is losing her beloved father. I have a Katelyn too--she was 15 when Neal died and is now 17. Nicole is now 21, and their pain continues. You will somehow get through this nightmare. We all do, but not without deep scars. Keep doing what you are doing, as you will. Your love is so deep that you will continue to advocate for him and keep him as peaceful as possible right until the end.

Posts: 57
Joined: Dec 2011

Judy, I am thinking of you and Don and praying for his comfort and your strength. Don has been a part of this family for quite some time now and I think of you both often. I'm so glad that he is home where his heart is.

Posts: 38
Joined: Jan 2012

Judy I am so saddened by your news. My heart and prayers go out to you and Don. He is in the wonderful house you have and is surrounded by memories.

Posts: 191
Joined: Nov 2011

Rick, Don passed away last tuesday. Unfortunately Judy will not be able to respond to your kind post as she was banned from the site friday for objecting to another poster being banned.

mardigras's picture
Posts: 210
Joined: Sep 2011

Hi Freida,
I can't beleive that yet another of our wonderful family has been banned from this site.
We have all been so supportive and necessary in each others lives, at a time when we are at our most scared and needy. William, Loretta, and now Judy. I don't understand any of this and it seems so petty.
Judy is lovely and has been going through hell. Please tell her that I am thinking of her and my prayers are with her. Her precious Don is now at peace and I wish Judy and Caitlin strength and love. I can't tell you how unbelievably sad I feel about the news. God bless you all.
I don't have a facebook account, but I will try and get one, so that I can send her my condolences.
Love and hugs
Marci x

TerryV's picture
Posts: 916
Joined: Jul 2011

Judy at www.esophagealcancerfighters.com. Cindy (Unclaw something?)was kind enough to start that site after the rukkus around here.

Judy and the others are posting there now.

Damn shame that it came to that. So much quality information - removed at the stroke of a key....

PROUD wife to Nick, age 49
lost EC battle, June 19, 2012

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