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Speaking of scanxiety...

Brenda Bricco
Posts: 579
Joined: Aug 2011

Packing up to leave for trip to Madison.. Husband came to tears and went for a walk in the woods. Scan is tomoorrow at 7am and results are at 10:30. I don't think I am as good at making him feel better as I used to be, maybe because I am feeling a little weak myself. Prayers please...
Brenda

tommycat's picture
tommycat
Posts: 790
Joined: Aug 2011

You got 'em...prayers, strength, hope and light...and a hug for you.
Hoping for the best~
Tommycat

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

Hey Brenda,

Wishing your hubby good scan results and I'll be sending warm thoughts and prayers your way.

(Rick has a PET/CT tomorrow as well.)

Hugs,

Cynthia

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

I have my PET/CT today too.

No scanxiety - I just want answers, whatever they are, so I can make the next plan of attack.

Good luck to all scanning this week!

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1380
Joined: May 2012

I like that!!!! I need to adopt this thinking!!!!

steveandnat's picture
steveandnat
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

Pray your scan are good. I know the anxiety when it is scan time. Hang tough. Jeff

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annalexandria
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

nothing but hope for positive results coming your way from Seattle. Ann

omrhill
Posts: 125
Joined: May 2012

Hugs to you and good vibes to the hubby ( since I'm assuming you dont want some strange woman (me) hugging on your husband). Stay strong. You'll do well.

Robin

alexinlv's picture
alexinlv
Posts: 194
Joined: Jul 2010

Brenda, sending prayers and lots of good vibe your way!! It's crazy what scanxiety does! My husband's is next month and I'm already getting nervous. Xo

Doc_Hawk's picture
Doc_Hawk
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

Prayers are coming your way, Brenda. For both of you.

(I get my next PET scan on the 17th)

Hugs and best wishes!

Doc

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

And spirits sent your all's way. It's so nice that you can get the scan results on the same day, lessens the anxiety a bit?
Here's hoping for a very good scan, my thoughts are with you both.
Winter Marie

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Maxiecat
Posts: 544
Joined: Jul 2012

Best of luck today...i ill keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I'll be sitting in the chair getting chemo #2 at 9:30 this morning.

Alex

Vickilg's picture
Vickilg
Posts: 281
Joined: Jan 2011

Will be praying for wonderful news. These emotional roller coasters are so unfair. I am sure you cheer your husband just as good as always. I know for myself sometimes i tend to internalize what I can't say. Read a quote today that tears are our way of expressing the feelings we just cannot say.

Big hugs for you both.

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

For all the players who are scanning & waiting...

-c

Minnesotagirl
Posts: 141
Joined: Sep 2011

I am thinking and praying for all of you who are facing scans this week. May you find comfort knowing so many people are praying and cheering for good results!

"Minnesotagirl"

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Annabelle41415
Posts: 5623
Joined: Feb 2009

Praying that his test comes out good. You both are being thought of during this trying time. Keep us informed.

Kim

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johnnybegood
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

you both and waiting to hear from you....Godbless.....johnnybegood

danker's picture
danker
Posts: 1152
Joined: Apr 2012

Why when we have cancer do we always assume the worst? It's just as likely that the scan will show how well he is doing. I'm 80, and my scans show NED, after resection, iliostomy,reversal( with complications) and new colonoscopy at 1 year anniversary. If I can do it, anyone can. Good luck to you both.

smokeyjoe
Posts: 1428
Joined: Feb 2011

Wow a lot of people getting scanned....positive vibes to everyone getting scanned!!!

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Dan,

The Why, can only be answered by each individual - each according to their own fears about how they face an uncertain future into the Unknown.

For me...I've had cancer 3x in the past 8-years...I got my cancer as a younger man of 43 and the past eight-years have been a nightmare of struggling to try and step a 1/2 step ahead of cancer and hold onto my job that supports my insurance and lifestyle - three different times.

While the next scan could vindicate me - it could also sentence me to doing more hard time - and this time, that next time, might eventually catch up to me and run out, before I've even had a chance to live my life.

While I will never be able to understand what you felt going through cancer at the age you acquired it - from the reverse standpoint, you probably can't see why me or someone like me would have those feelings of uncertainty and insecurity.

It boils down to age - and a life well lived. You appear to have gotten both - while I'm still patiently waiting my turn for either.

And I think that's The Why that you asked about.

-Craig

danker's picture
danker
Posts: 1152
Joined: Apr 2012

I think I have been an optimist all my life, so I never assume the worst. When I applied to grad school at the Univ. of Chicago, they rejected me based on my undergrad grades, Pursuing it further, a tough test got me admitted. Six years of night school later, I had my MBA. I always just assume things will work out for the best. It makes for a great life. Good luck to you all!

Brenda Bricco
Posts: 579
Joined: Aug 2011

The scan was clear! :)
My husband was so convinced that there was gonna be something that he cried when the doc came in the room and said to the nurse that was checking him in " I can't make him wait anymore and I can't wait either, Your scan looks awesome!". Him crying made me and the doc cry. We asked about the whole bone met thing (that the PA threw out there when the CEA rose 3 points) and he said that he highly doubts that there would be anything in his bones, that he can see the bones in the upper part of the body and they are clear. The doc said he wants us to sleep at night so he ordered an xray of his legs that we went to immediatly (no news yet but I trust the docs judgement). I asked about the rising CEA and he said that that the chemo could do that too. The plan is three more months and then another scan, if that is clear he said that we would stop the chemo (Xeloda) and can take a LONG break of six months. He also said that if something shows up we will treat it (like it was no big deal).
We were discussing the whole small town onc that told us to go home and enjoy the time we have (which is good advice for anyone) but if we would have stopped there we would be getting darn close to the funeral. He said he can't tell you how many time he has heard that.
I want to thank everyone for your thoughts, prayers and encouragement. I hope that I can encourage you by saying that we see all hear the doom of the whole 5% but hings are changing, I know that guys at UW Madison gets a thrill out of making folks better that others said couldn't be done. Please don't give up hope... I thank and praise GOD for getting us to Madison!
I have been praying and thinking about you all and I hope that we all get good news from here on out.
GOD's blessings to you, thanks again!
Brenda

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1316
Joined: Apr 2009

So relieved to hear that the scan is clear. Now, just BREATHE, and go home and ride that beautiful horse.

Luv,

Wolfen

ketziah35
Posts: 1154
Joined: Jun 2010

I am so happy for you and your husband! God is good!

danker's picture
danker
Posts: 1152
Joined: Apr 2012

told you so!!!!

danker's picture
danker
Posts: 1152
Joined: Apr 2012

told you so!!!!

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Dan's the man with the plan...

:)

-c

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

Oh Brenda, that's such wonderful news!! :-) I am so VERY happy for you both and he certainly deserves a nice long break from chemo. Now relax, and have a good strong drink - you deserve that one! ;-D

Hugs,

Cyn

marbleotis's picture
marbleotis
Posts: 690
Joined: Mar 2012

Brenda, Yeah, Yeah and double Yeah.

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

And let the happy dance begin to be sure!!!!
Glad for both of you!!
Winter Marie

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5055
Joined: Feb 2008

That's wonderful news!

*hugs*
Gail

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1380
Joined: May 2012

Prayers are with you. It's a hard thing to deal with.

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1380
Joined: May 2012

Sorry, some of us are slow. YEAHHHHH!!!! I should have read bottom to top, you go boy!

marbleotis's picture
marbleotis
Posts: 690
Joined: Mar 2012

This may cheer everyone up. I was in chemo #11 of 12 today (side note-Yeah!), anyway there was a couple in the mid-60's and the husband was receiving some chemo and some other things. We smiled a few time and he said some funny stuff. He was done before me so he was disconnected and given his next appointments. He stood up and spoke to the 3 patients in the room. He said it is all about being positive. He said he started chemo when the new wing on the hospital was just a pile of bricks. He was told he would have 2 months....that was 3 years ago. He said to all of us it needs to be firmly in your head that you will beat this. He said the Onc asked him years ago....do you want to fight this...he said a respounding yes (we also share the same Onc - Yeah again). He left then to use the bathroom and his wife continued to tell us....he had 8 surgeries, chemo too many times to count, scans an on and on and last week he was in ICU with a bp of 48/20. This week he is in chemo and he looked good. She said he has taught her about being strong in your mind you cannot let cancer have that space in your head because it then attempts to control your thoughts. I thought this man was great. I have told my husnand from day 1 I was going to fight from the beginning (I am CC 3b no mets). It was no accident that I met that man today. I believe God works that magic. What this man did for me (and I hope others with his story) is once again affirm that a strong positive attitude goes a long way. I was Dx 1/13/12 with CC 3b surgery 1/31/12, chemo 1/7/12 - today (#11). At 49 years old!. Yes - that sucks, but it can always be much worse. Everyone keep strong, focussed and pushing forward. Alice

danker's picture
danker
Posts: 1152
Joined: Apr 2012

read my thread about encouragement. I'm 80 and hanging on just like all the rest of us. But we can do it. Live to 90 with me!!!

danker's picture
danker
Posts: 1152
Joined: Apr 2012

read my thread about encouragement. I'm 80 and hanging on just like all the rest of us. But we can do it. Live to 90 with me!!!

Momof2plusteentwins's picture
Momof2plusteentwins
Posts: 507
Joined: May 2012

I agree with being positive, sometimes it is just hard. Congrats on your 11th treatment, hope I can go that far, I finished #2 last week. It already seems treatments come up too fast, I guess that can be good and bad. I see we are both 49, too young to have this crap, but really any age is bad to get cancer. Your friend seemed wise, and been through it, but he is still here, which is what we all want. Stay strong!
Sandy

marbleotis's picture
marbleotis
Posts: 690
Joined: Mar 2012

Sandy - Congrats on #2. Don't forget that it is 2 DONE! Now focus on resting, eating what you can getting as much exercise as possible. I count any housework as exercise. Then you focus on #3.......and so on. That is how I got to #11 with most of my sanity in tact. Don't get me wrong in my post before I did have some tough emotional time with this so far. The worst was having to tell my 85 year old Mother that I had cancer over the phone because she is in NY and her husband of 24 years died months before (he was 90). I have never heard my Mother cry like that - I was alone in the house and I just cried without any control for about an hour. I then passed a mirror and saw I looked like a wreck it was then I decided I was plowing ahead. Of course I have had a sad time (allow for that) now and then, but I really tried to stay in the moment. My husband told me yesterday that he was never prouder or more in awe of how strong I've been. That was one of the nicest things anyone ever told me.

And yes I agree that 49 is too young to have this crap - we may be 49 but we feel 18. That really bothered me alot in the beginning until I heard about someone from where we used to live just Dx with CC stage 4 with mets at 26 years old.

You will get all your treatments in and soon you will be posting that!! Enjoy each and every day with your family. Do what you love to do!
Alice

omrhill
Posts: 125
Joined: May 2012

Great post. Thanks so much for shring this. Taking two minutes to share a kind word (like Danker did on another post today) can change someone's day in such a positive way.

Best to you,

Robin

marbleotis's picture
marbleotis
Posts: 690
Joined: Mar 2012

Robin - thanks this guy was so inspirational I had to do the viral sharing. He locked eyes with me like he was talking to my soul (I know that sounds weird but I cannot explain any other way. Alice

omrhill
Posts: 125
Joined: May 2012

Im not religious often but i do believe that there are people put into our lives for one exact moment.

Brenda Bricco
Posts: 579
Joined: Aug 2011

We got home around 4pm... I crashed but could hear my husband answer the phone when the doc called him to say that all looks good and there is no evidence of bone mets (just as he thought).
Something strange happend today that I want to tell you about. After the scan we went to the surgical waiting area to rest until we got scan results. I got my husband all set up in a recliner with a blanket and he was out in two minutes. I curled up on a love seat kind of couch using my purse as a pillow. I dosed off until I felt someone lay a blanket over me too. I sat up thinking my husabnd was up but it was someone that I didn't recognize, he wasn't there when I layed down. I know this is going to sound strange and maybe I was just over tired but it just felt like GOD was providing rest for me too. I looked at the man and mouthed the words "thank you", he smiled and sat down across from my husband (my love seat was in a different pod).I was so beat that I snuggled into my blanket and feel asleep. I wanted to properly thank him when I got up but he wasn't there. Have you ever had the feeling that GOD is carrying you? I sure do. Maybe it was just someone being kind but it just felt like something out of the ordinary, like GOD was providing for me. This whole day had felt like this, it was a good feeling to have at such a tense time.
I can't stop thanking GOD for all of his mercy and love. :)
Feeling so thankful tonight...
Brenda

tko683
Posts: 265
Joined: Aug 2011

I am so happy to hear your wonderful news!!!! What a relief! I hate that these scans cause such stress but they do for all of us.......waiting....and worrying....glad you are done with that for now! Our turn is at the end of this month.....and we are both stressed already. Take care, Blessings, Teri

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pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

Thanks for sharing your gratitude

Hugs,
Pete

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 5623
Joined: Feb 2009

Glad to hear that everything went well. What a great relief.

Kim

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