3 Months Ago Today 4/11/2012

Its hard to believe that 3 months and 1 day ago I was at work at the hospital taking care of patients. I was preparing for a Colonoscopy the next day, 4/11/12 and drinking only clear liquids. My friends at work were giving me a hard time because they know how much I love to eat and had to do clear liquids all day. I never thought I would get the cancer diagnosis. My life was working, being a wife, taking care of my 14 year old twin boys, and planning our summer vacation. How did this diagnosis change everything??? After finding out that the tumor in my rectum was adenocarcinoma, I had a CT the next day to find out it had metasized to my liver - Stage 4! I started radiation the next week and 5FU. Surgery 4 weeks later to remove rectal tumor, liver met, and gallbladder. Now it is 3 weeks later and chemo folfox starts next week for 12 treatments. I'm only at my 3 month mark and I feel like it has been years. I totally understand how people can say I had enough of this, I'm not there but it is so hard and nobody understands unless they live it. It is so nice to have this board to be able to communicate with people like me. My husband comes home and I say Jennie this or Helen this or Phil this or Deb this Marie this, I feel like I know a lot of you and really appreciate all of you.
Sandy

Comments

  • steveandnat
    steveandnat Member Posts: 886
    time is going fast
    PraypWow you sure are moving along with your treatment. Praying that you do well during chemmo treatment. You are so right that it hard to explain to others. Be assured we know what your going through. Jeff
  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571
    It's kind of amazing to me...
    how the cancer experience so totally changes your perceptions of everything, time included. I've been in the fight for three years, and I can't really remember anymore what it was like in my "pre-cancer" life. It's also amazing what you can get used to. The incredible fear and worry that consumed me is much more manageable these days, even though the battle is still ongoing. I hope the time comes when cancer becomes just another aspect of your past life, and is put on the back burner for good! Sending strength your way-Ann
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787

    It's kind of amazing to me...
    how the cancer experience so totally changes your perceptions of everything, time included. I've been in the fight for three years, and I can't really remember anymore what it was like in my "pre-cancer" life. It's also amazing what you can get used to. The incredible fear and worry that consumed me is much more manageable these days, even though the battle is still ongoing. I hope the time comes when cancer becomes just another aspect of your past life, and is put on the back burner for good! Sending strength your way-Ann

    Hey sandy
    I can relate so much to the daily discussions of YOU ALL. I am the same way..... Anytime something happens......like this lady with twins who was just DXed...YOU! You are now on my daily talks with my husband and he knows you all and we speak of you all daily.... You all are part of our life now and every day you are talked about. I hate this cancer crap but sure glad to have this kind of support.
    Jennie
  • scared99
    scared99 Member Posts: 72

    Hey sandy
    I can relate so much to the daily discussions of YOU ALL. I am the same way..... Anytime something happens......like this lady with twins who was just DXed...YOU! You are now on my daily talks with my husband and he knows you all and we speak of you all daily.... You all are part of our life now and every day you are talked about. I hate this cancer crap but sure glad to have this kind of support.
    Jennie

    Keep up the good fight.
    Keep up the good fight. When I found out my mom had stage 4 colon cancer with a rare met to the sacral bone I sunk into a deep depression. Her team of doctors never panicked and said they will keep her going. My mom just finished radiation for the sacral tumor and begins Chemo next week. The doctors made one point very clear to her every day science is making new breakthroughs in the field of cancer and cancer treatments. You have a reason to fight ! In the past month I have come to appreciate everyday, which is something I never did before. I looked to the future and many times wasted precious moments of the here and now. I will never do that again.
  • scared99
    scared99 Member Posts: 72

    Hey sandy
    I can relate so much to the daily discussions of YOU ALL. I am the same way..... Anytime something happens......like this lady with twins who was just DXed...YOU! You are now on my daily talks with my husband and he knows you all and we speak of you all daily.... You all are part of our life now and every day you are talked about. I hate this cancer crap but sure glad to have this kind of support.
    Jennie

    Keep up the good fight.
    Keep up the good fight. When I found out my mom had stage 4 colon cancer with a rare met to the sacral bone I sunk into a deep depression. Her team of doctors never panicked and said they will keep her going. My mom just finished radiation for the sacral tumor and begins Chemo next week. The doctors made one point very clear to her every day science is making new breakthroughs in the field of cancer and cancer treatments. You have a reason to fight ! In the past month I have come to appreciate everyday, which is something I never did before. I looked to the future and many times wasted precious moments of the here and now. I will never do that again.
  • steved
    steved Member Posts: 834
    A long journey
    We do share your frustration with how this illness seems to dominate your life and time drags when it does. I remember well looking back on periods that seemed to be one long up hill struggle of appointments, scans, treatments, operations and complications and also reflecting on how transformed life was from what I had lived before. What I cn say is that it passes. Life does and will return to a semblance of normality. I ahve been at this 8 years now and whilst again I am back in a period where cancer takes up too much of my life, there have been long periods of years where that faded and all the other parts of life returned. I remember looking back during those periods and thinking how strange life was during all my treatments but also how it all seemed a abit of a surreal blur once it had all quietened down!

    You will get there. It is one day at a time at present but in time life will creep back in , cancer and all the paraphenalia attached to it will fade and you will look back on this and have gained a huge amount from it all. It is hard to see from where you are now, but it does happen.

    steve
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    So Long Ago - It's Hard to Remember Sometimes...
    I don't know if I can count back that far anymore, Sandy:)

    I'm out at mile marker 97-months (8.1 years)

    Last year when I began writing my book, I went all the way back to the day of diagnosis and moved forward to where I'm at now.

    It's always good to know where we are - so we can see how far we came - and what it took to get there. Best of luck and enjoy the break before your chemo treatments start.

    -Craig