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My mommy is dying

Sonalya9
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2012

My mother just turned 50 and has struggled with colorectal cancer for the past year. Her cancer has finally metastasized to her lymph nodes, kidneys, uterus and intestines and is inoperable because she is too weak to undergo surgery. she is not responding to chemo anymore. I live in rhode island and my mama is in Colombo Sri Lanka 8700 miles away. I am flying this saturday to be with her while she's still able to talk and walk and stuff. I'm have to watch her die and I'm so terrified. I'm so close to her, for the past 4 years I have been envisioning my life when she finally joins me and my husband in the US but now thats all gone. I have no idea what to do and how to face what's coming. My husband is not able to come with me because we don't have that much money. We are both grad students so we are pretty much broke. I dont know what to do... how do I face this changed reality and the fact that my mama will be gone. She has always been there for me and now I want to be there for her. But I feel helpless and angry and confused all at once.

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6715
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry you are having to deal with it and especially with that much distance between the two of you. It is not easy watching your parent or loved one battle cancer. Just try and spend some quality time with your mom. You just being there will boost both of your spirits. Cherish this time together. Maybe you could also seek another opinion while you are with her. Thinking of you both.

Kim

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3372
Joined: Jan 2010

So sorry to hear of your mom's situation.

When you go to be with her, take your clues from her as to how to act. If she wants your emotional support, give it. If she wants to talk about hard things like how to handle her death and after, let her. It will not be easy but you will do her the best service by letting her guide you to what she needs now.

There will be time afterwards to vent your anger and try to make sense of all that has happened.

Be strong for her now. That does not mean don't shed tears, but to let her know that she can count on you and lean on you as her strenght wanes.

There is no easy way to lose a loved one.

Prayers for you both,

Marie who loves kitties

abackhou
Posts: 77
Joined: Jan 2012

Agree with the other comments. Hold hands, forgive, talk, laugh and cry being together for whatever period of time ...

Good wishes.....Andrew

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