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I need help through this... I feel so lost and alone

Posts: 8
Joined: Jun 2012

My mother has been fighting stage 4 breast cancer for the past 2 years with radiation and chemo but I just got the news that she has taken a turn for the worse. I am 27 years old and I have a 21 month old daughter of my own. I live in CA and my mom and dad and 3 baby sisters live in FL, so I am flying there this up coming week to help take care of my mom and support my sisters and dad. Right now my mom is in the hospital with a tube in her chest draining the fluid that has built up in her chest wall. They are transitioning her in the hospital with hospice care and then she will be getting hospice once she goes home. My sisters don't know that she is not going to make it yet and they are all teenagers. The youngest is 13 and she is going to be devastated. My mom is such a beautiful, giving, kind, and loving person. She has always put everyone else before herself and I know that what I am about to go do is going to be the most gut-wrenching, hardest, and saddest thing I will ever have to do. I am still just in the state of shock and I am feeling numb. I cry alot and am so scared to see my beautiful mother withering away. I know that when I do see her the way she is I am going to try and stay strong but will most likely break down. My mother is my rock and my best friend. I would probably go with her if it wasn't for my daughter. I just saw her in May and she was doing okay. She was walking around and we laughed alot together and she was still was eating well. My dad told me that when he went to visit her in the hospital yesterday she was not eating and has lost alot of weight since may. My dad said she looks like shes 80 years old and my mom is only 56 years young. I am so depressed and not sure where to go from here... Any support or help from you all would be much appreciated! Thanks for reading... Jenna

Posts: 1846
Joined: Aug 2010

Jenna, as a mom myself I can say that you should not try to guard your feelings when you are with your mom - if you are upset, cry. If something is funny, Honey, laugh. She knows what you are feeling.
This isn't easy, isn't supposed to be easy and can't be made easy. Just remember to breathe, be there as much as possible for your sisters and pull in as much support from your extended family, your mom's church or social groups and from hospice.

You will walk this walk - and you will be okay. It will take some time for all of you but you will be okay. Different, more mature, sadder and wiser, but okay.

annsher88's picture
Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 2012


I am so sorry to hear about your mom's health. I really hope she starts to recover...I know how difficult these illnesses can be on families, especially when you don't live close by. Make sure to surround yourself with a close community of friends and family. It is so necessary to have such support during times like these. I will be praying that she gets better and that you get support too! Blessings.

Posts: 8
Joined: Jun 2012

Tomorrow is the day I fly home to FL... I decided that for my well being I would see my best friend of 8 years first before going to be at my mothers side. My aunt and uncle are coming with me to my mom's house as well which will help. I am also having 2 of my best girlfriends come over to help me take care of my daughter and sit with my mom if I need a moment. I am very scared and sad but as scared and sad as I am, I'm sure my mom is feeling 100 times worse. I talk to her everyday several times a day and I can hear the pain in her voice. It's heartbreaking because there is nothing I can do to take her pain away. I just want to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her and am so thankful I have such an amazingly beautiful and wonderful mother. Thanks again for all your words and I shall write an update as soon as I see my mommy... I feel like a kid again crying and wanting my mom but I'm sure this feeling will last for sometime...


Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2005

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