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Nightmare?

Doc_Hawk's picture
Doc_Hawk
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

About a month ago, right before treatment on my birthday, I had a nightmare that I at first dismissed and then later started to think about. In the nightmare, it was late at night and I suddenly heard loud footsteps and shouting upstairs. Rather than rush upstairs to find out what was going on, I grabbed my K-Bar survival knife and hid myself as someone came down the stairs. After they looked around my room and left, I followed them and killed the intruder with the knife. As the nightmare progressed, I kept stalking the intruders and stacked their bodies under the stairwell. Finally, there was only one left and he was holding a gun on my loved ones. I'd taken a gun from on of the bodies and shot the last intruder in the head. It was a very graphic nightmare and it followed a straight story line and was sort of a Jason meets Die Hard sort of thing.

After all of the drugs from chemo wore off that evening, I began to think about it. The house was my body and the invaders were cancer, searching my body for other places to attack. I was taking a very active part in killing the cancer and I remember that it felt really good doing so. I figure that after two years, it had got to the point where I was finally angry enough at cancer to get into primal, savage mode and take it out.

I just wanted to share that with others who are going through the same thing and see if anyone else had experienced any nightmares like that.

Doc

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3322
Joined: Jan 2010

That was some nightmare! Glad you were able to see it as a connection with your fight against cancer.

I haven't had anything approaching that, but did have a few nightmares right after diagnosis and before surgery. I think it was my subconscious dragging out the "you have cancer" to be faced, even in sleep.

I like your 'take no prisoners' attitude when it comes to cancer.

May we all live on as super fighters until there is a cure.

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

dmj101's picture
dmj101
Posts: 527
Joined: Nov 2011

You are my X-Man

barbebarb's picture
barbebarb
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

I have used a visual while meditating of millions of cancer fighters invading bad cells.

Small panic attacks when I wake up early am though about bills and what does the future hold...I know let it go!

barbebarb's picture
barbebarb
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

I have used a visual while meditating of millions of cancer fighters invading bad cells.

Small panic attacks when I wake up early am though about bills and what does the future hold...I know let it go!

Doc_Hawk's picture
Doc_Hawk
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

Just don't ask me to wear yellow spandex!

John23's picture
John23
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

Terrible Nightmares....

I dreamt my brother-in-law and his wife moved in with us.

It was Horrible.

John

JayhawkDan's picture
JayhawkDan
Posts: 206
Joined: Apr 2012

Just wanted to say that John's nightmare is much scarier than Doc's... ;-)

I actually love your nightmare, Doc ... kill them sonsab!tches!!! As long as you can handle it, I hope you get more of them tonight! I don't own any guns, or knives other than the kitchen variety, so if you want to visit my "house" during one of your nightmares and take out some of my unwelcome invaders, you're welcome to do so...haha.

just4Brooks's picture
just4Brooks
Posts: 988
Joined: Jun 2009

Me too. Mine always started with the same bone skinny man wanting me to look inside of a casket. He keeps following me around telling me to "go look". When I do look it's me all pasty white and DEAD!! By that point I'm in a cold sweat screaming. I was having the dream about 2 to 4 nights a week but they dont seem to be less often now. It's always the same man but sometimes we're in a church or just in a room. I know what happends but he keeps after me until I look and I dont want to look because I know it will be me. The doc's say it's a form of PTSD and after reading on it I think it is.

How often do you have this dream?

**** CANCER!!

steved
Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2004

Love the dream - funny how the stress of all this gets inside us and is lived out in different ways.

Warning though- there is now a psychiatrist lurking on this site and if it gets any madder around here I'll have to start locking you away! ;)

steve

dmj101's picture
dmj101
Posts: 527
Joined: Nov 2011

I have disturbing dreams the week I am on the 5FU bottle..
I can't say I really recall them.. but they wake me straight up sometimes...
and all I think it REALLY?

I have to agree if I drempt of my ex-in-laws coming to live with me.. I would be running for the hills.. - what a mess that would have been.. OMG.. That would be the scariest.

Visualation is an important part of meditation.. and it is used alot by the alternative med techs in the hospital..

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

involved me walking into a bar, and a guy sitting on a stool spun around to look at me as i came in. Gave me a big grin, showing off his blood-covered teeth. In the dream, i knew he was my cancer in person. Scared the crap out of me and i woke up. I hope reality matches your dream, Doc, and that you defeat every last dang cancer cell that has invaded your home. Ann

lauragb
Posts: 370
Joined: Aug 2011

I've had a repetitive dream about moving to a different house. In the dreams the houses are always different but they follow the same theme of being okay but just not as nice as where I used to live. I always think about how much I'll miss the old house and am a little sad. Then in each new house, there's always a part that's hidden away, example, basement that is locked. The new houses to me represent my changed body and life, the hidden parts are of course, the unknown of the future. I've had this dream several times.

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

I call cancer cells "little buggers", so the other night I dreamt that Rick and I were in the kitchen and ants kept coming out of the walls. I tried to kill them as quickly as possible but they kept coming out faster and faster until the "little buggers" were all over us. Nasty dream. I seem to have a lot of nightmares these days too, so I feel for you.

All my best,

Cyn

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1388
Joined: May 2012

I never want to look in your closets! lol

I had a dream the first week that a man kept chasing me. It was every night and would wake me up between 2 and 4 just when he was about to get me and I would have serious panic attacks. Thankfully I haven't had that dream since but I do still wake up in the middle of the night randomly after every test and then I'm up for hours.

Doc_Hawk's picture
Doc_Hawk
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

A few days after I told my sister about that nightmare, she had to get something out from under the stairs. She told me that she was afraid to open the door! I laughed and told her that "the bodies are in the freezer now."

Honestly, the scariest thing in my closets is the anti-nausea drugs, saline and IV equipment for when the chemo gets me too sick.

Doc_Hawk's picture
Doc_Hawk
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

For anyone who would like to read the full description of the nightmare and my interpretation, I've posted it to the Expressions page. Arianne (my on-again-off-again lady friend) is a psychotherapist and has done a lot of dream interpretation. She agreed with my take on it.

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