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So sad

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2012

Had rectal and solitary liver resection. New scan shows unchanged lung nodules ( they were there before surgery, small, did not light up on scan ,no change in size, but still suspicious) and new 7 mm liver lesion. Started chemo. Scared and so discouraged.

Annabelle41415's picture
Posts: 6694
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry for your diagnosis. You have come to a place where we can help you get through this new journey you are on. There are members here that have been posting for years. I'm not sure if this is your first round with chemo or not, but don't lose hope. It's very normal to be afraid. Fear of the unknown is hard on anyone. If you have any questions, please ask us.


tommycat's picture
Posts: 790
Joined: Aug 2011

Welcome to the Board~
Can you share a little more about yourself? There are people here who will be able to relate to your experiences.
I was diagnosed in 2009 with Stage 3 rectal cancer, and am okay now. I'm also a Mother.
Your Friend in California~

Posts: 9
Joined: Mar 2012

Welcome to the board. My husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer in December 20011. He has lesson on his lungs and liver.
He had 6 cycles of chemo so far. He has his good days and bad days. They gave him oxiplatin/avastin/5-ted u the first time but it only shrinked the leasons on his lungs by a little bit. The liver came out even more. So they will be changing to folfri for 6 more sessions. I know it can be preety scary. When he first saw the doctor they were working toward a cure but now they call it cancer progression so I guess the word cure is gone. Since he has been on break from chemo he has been feeling really good. Everyone tells me how great he looks. I Just see the cancer and him getting skinner. But enough of a sad stuff. We have 6 beautiful grandchildren that we just can't see them enough. We have grown so much closer during all this craziness. The weather is really nice here in California.

God Bless and keep you

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2012

Diagnosed about 3 months ago, no symptoms at all, no family history. Had surgery on liver and rectum, did very well, back to work after 4 weeks. Started chemo last week, so far doing well.Working,functioning well. On oxiplatin, avastin and xeloda. Worried sick , but trying to stay optimistic and hoping for best. So happy to find this site. Worried if nodules are mets and gor new liver lesion if surgerycan be an option after chemo.

Vickilg's picture
Posts: 281
Joined: Jan 2011

Hi there... How long have you had the lung spots? I just recently have them and they do not light up either. They are going to do surgery to remove them. I have had a liver spot - just one - but two different times. I am having surgery next month to remove the entire left lobe. The good thing about the liver is that it the remaining liver expands and replaces what us cut out.

Big hug!

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2012

Lung spots are small, 3-6 mm,3 od them, did not light up on pet. Had them at least since diagnoses. Too small to biopsy or take out. Wait and watch for now

steveandnat's picture
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

EverythingWelcome to a great group that helps you get through the rough times. I've found this cancer stuff is such a rollercoaster. Everyone reacts different and side effects are different too. Hang in there and I pray everything is good. Jeff

Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2004

Your story actually sounds like physically you are doing very well- remarkable to be back at work so soon after surgery and coping with chemo well- working on oxaliplatin is no mean feat! However you also need to look after yourself psychologically. You have had mixed news and are left with huge uncertainty which is incredibly difficult to live with. Try to find people who you can talk to- here is a great place as there are many others living under similar shadows of uncertainty, myself included. It is part of living with this illness but it is important to find ways of unburdening yourself at times too. Work has been great for me to keep routine and other normal roles going and it sounds like you are taking a similar path. However, I also find other outlets like exercise useful and others find things like counselling, doing their gardens, screaming and shouting or whatever helps them through, are ways of getting some of the emotions associated with this illness out.

It is early on in what will be a long journey for you, so take time to get your head in order and perpare yourself for living lfe with this illness for a period of time.


Phil64's picture
Posts: 837
Joined: Apr 2012

What are we to do? Being on the receiving side of a crappy hand as well...

I'm choosing to think positive and visualize the Chemo killing off the cancer cells! I've also committed to do whatever I can reagarding eating healthier (more organic vegies and fruits), cutting out red meats, eating good portions (no more over eating), cutting out any/all fast food, activity everyday (no matter what!). I guess I'm signed up to FIGHT this ugly disease! And I'm also signing up to CHOOSE HAPPINESS in spite of any pain or suffering I need to undergo! And I believe I once heard that fear offered up in Prayer is Courage! Cancer survivors must be the most couragous people!

Love and Light to you!


Brenda Bricco
Posts: 579
Joined: Aug 2011

There are lots of ups and downs but do not give up hope. There are lots of us fighting or the care taker of someone fighting. We all have our moments of fear so just come here when you need someone to pick you up, there are lots of folks around to give you support. ;)
Phil, I heard it was "Courage is fear that has said it's prayers", I don't think I will forget that oone. ;)

Doc_Hawk's picture
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

When I was diagnosed two years ago I was pretty down for about the first 10 days. And then a friend asked me "what would your reaction be if I told you that tomorrow you'd be in an accident and die? Would you live the remaining hours in fear and gloom or would you party your *** off?" I decided that I'd party my *** off, so now I go out and have as much fun as I can. There are many lessons to learn after what someone else called "having the doctor put a gun in your face." I've become a much happier and serene person since my dx and instead of a frown I smile a lot and make people wonder what kind of mischief I'm up to. Please, let go of the fear because that alone is your biggest enemy.

Posts: 1279
Joined: Apr 2012

Doc Hawk said it all. Just live life to the hilt and don't worry about tomorrow, You too can end up NED.

thingy45's picture
Posts: 633
Joined: Apr 2011

SMILE, it will make you feel better. Sorry to hear about your diagnoses, however, you still have a lot of living to do. I agree with Phil64, I opted for the same, fresh veggies, lots of laughter and and one day at a time. It works for me
I wish you happiness and strength and a I send you a smile and love and many prayers.
hugs, Marjan

barbebarb's picture
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

Don't get discouraged. There are many people on the boards to guide you and been inspiring to me.
Its so challenging to overcome the uncertainty fear.

Once you know more about your treatment plan you will feel more control.

Positive thoughts to you!

It has taken me months to realize here is a lot of living for all of us to do and there will be some rough days but more good ahead!

barbebarb's picture
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

My dear and silly cousin calls chemo healing juice.....

I am back on chemo but keep thinking about a break and positive outcome.

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2012

Thank you everybody for your support! I just had my third chemo ( xelox), no side effects so far except some cold sensitivity. Working full time and feeling well . It is such a weird feeling to know you have this stupid disease and yet I really never felt sick. Hope chemo is going to kill it and I will continue to tolerate it .Started to do some juicing as well. One day at the time, one step at the time.

marbleotis's picture
Posts: 714
Joined: Mar 2012

Borac, I too had no colon cancer symptoms. Just pain on left side front and back. Found a large gall stone so gall bladder was removed. I thought yeah I am ok. The pain in the back came again with a vengance. This time scans for kidney stones showed a "slight" odd looking colon wall and 2 nodes. (on the right side). Had the colonoscopy and there it was stage 3 colon cancer with 3 nodes. At 49 years young - I was stunned! No mets to anywhere else (I am lucky). Had the surgery. I am on chemo #8 of 12. Keep pushing forward, you may have a sad day now and then. That is ok. Just jump on the site and read all the encourging stories. Cancer has taken enough from me so I refuse to give it anymore. Hang in there. do what you love. Alice

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