Where's Big Billy??????

janie1
janie1 Member Posts: 753
I just sent Big Billy a message to pass along to Craig.....Big Billy where did you go????
«1

Comments

  • tommycat
    tommycat Member Posts: 790
    Weird
    The post is gone---how odd. I didn't get a chance to read it yet. Maybe Sundance wanted to do some revisions/edits/additions?
  • ron50
    ron50 Member Posts: 1,723
    tommycat said:

    Weird
    The post is gone---how odd. I didn't get a chance to read it yet. Maybe Sundance wanted to do some revisions/edits/additions?

    weird
    Ketz asked how I was going the other day,I replied as did lovekitties and annabelle then it just disappeared,strange,Ron,
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    ron50 said:

    weird
    Ketz asked how I was going the other day,I replied as did lovekitties and annabelle then it just disappeared,strange,Ron,

    May be my post
    It may be that my post got the thread yanked...if so sorry to all and hopefully Craig will repost his original thread.

    I didn't mean to break any rules. Just wanted to encourage him.

    Sorry if it caused it to be pulled.

    Marie who loves kitties
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    May be my post
    It may be that my post got the thread yanked...if so sorry to all and hopefully Craig will repost his original thread.

    I didn't mean to break any rules. Just wanted to encourage him.

    Sorry if it caused it to be pulled.

    Marie who loves kitties

    The Fault is Squarely On Me...
    Marie

    Just trying to catch my breath - just got in from the hospital:)

    You didn't do anything wrong, Marie...you were sweet and thoughtful as you always are and I appreciated your comments - you are always so helpful and supportive.

    I deleted my own thread...parts of it were okay, but as I kept re-reading it, I just thought it was a waste of everyone's time on this one...and it just didn't come out the way I wanted it to sound...I was hoping to make it disappear before anyone else noticed that it was posted and removed.

    I want to thank all of you ladies for posting your support...I'm sorry to have deleted it, but I just thought that I should spare the group from reading all of that nonsense.

    Please accept my apologies. This was embarassing and I'm truly sorry.

    -Craig
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    The Fault is Squarely On Me...
    Marie

    Just trying to catch my breath - just got in from the hospital:)

    You didn't do anything wrong, Marie...you were sweet and thoughtful as you always are and I appreciated your comments - you are always so helpful and supportive.

    I deleted my own thread...parts of it were okay, but as I kept re-reading it, I just thought it was a waste of everyone's time on this one...and it just didn't come out the way I wanted it to sound...I was hoping to make it disappear before anyone else noticed that it was posted and removed.

    I want to thank all of you ladies for posting your support...I'm sorry to have deleted it, but I just thought that I should spare the group from reading all of that nonsense.

    Please accept my apologies. This was embarassing and I'm truly sorry.

    -Craig

    Dear Craig
    I for one wish you would repost it. The folks here enjoy your writings regardless of the persona sharing it with us.

    Don't understand your embarassment. It was not a waste of time.

    I feel certain that each of us came away with something which resonated with us...which is what your posts do!

    Bring Big Billy back!

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties
  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215
    Sundanceh said:

    The Fault is Squarely On Me...
    Marie

    Just trying to catch my breath - just got in from the hospital:)

    You didn't do anything wrong, Marie...you were sweet and thoughtful as you always are and I appreciated your comments - you are always so helpful and supportive.

    I deleted my own thread...parts of it were okay, but as I kept re-reading it, I just thought it was a waste of everyone's time on this one...and it just didn't come out the way I wanted it to sound...I was hoping to make it disappear before anyone else noticed that it was posted and removed.

    I want to thank all of you ladies for posting your support...I'm sorry to have deleted it, but I just thought that I should spare the group from reading all of that nonsense.

    Please accept my apologies. This was embarassing and I'm truly sorry.

    -Craig

    I read the whole thread
    I read the whole thread yesterday. It kept me entertained throughout the day while i was at work. I needed to hear from BB. My scan came back clean last week and i was rewarded with more chemo. It absolutely destroyed me this time. This was my 29th round over the past 6 years and it was by far the worst. It left me questioning everything.
  • LivinginNH
    LivinginNH Member Posts: 1,456

    Dear Craig
    I for one wish you would repost it. The folks here enjoy your writings regardless of the persona sharing it with us.

    Don't understand your embarassment. It was not a waste of time.

    I feel certain that each of us came away with something which resonated with us...which is what your posts do!

    Bring Big Billy back!

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties

    I second the motion! That

    I second the motion! That was a great post Craig, I'm glad that I was able to read it. You really should consider posting it back up.

    Hugs,

    Cynthia
  • smokeyjoe
    smokeyjoe Member Posts: 1,425

    I read the whole thread
    I read the whole thread yesterday. It kept me entertained throughout the day while i was at work. I needed to hear from BB. My scan came back clean last week and i was rewarded with more chemo. It absolutely destroyed me this time. This was my 29th round over the past 6 years and it was by far the worst. It left me questioning everything.

    I just came on to read it,
    I just came on to read it, as I didn't get a chance to yesterday....
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    "Big Billy Back by Viewer Demand?"
    Well, after Leena's post, it struck me that I f'd up. She and I were talking about the new avatar I had up...and I told her it tied into the new post I was working on - and then she comes to see it, only to find it gone.

    I guess I should not have pulled the trigger so hastily. I've really been overwhelmed as most of you know - and at times things can get a little confusing and my nerves are frayed.

    One of the church sisters is still trying to make my life miserable at every turn...she's up to something and we're just waiting for her to make her move...it looks like she may have enlisted hospital personnel to help her at every facility we've been to. Despite me trying to lock it down, she has fanagled her way into building alliances and working against me in any fashion that she can. The whole thing looks like some sort of conspiracy theory, but I can't prove anything definitively.

    Of course, when she does show her hand, I'll pick up the phone and call the atty to address whatever course of action she tries. She's not the type to lay down - there is something in it that she is trying to get and you just get to where you can't even trust the administrators that are in charge of these places - so much deception and bad human nature on display.

    And we're moving dad all the time - here, there, everywhere and there's just not a minute break....we have had some applicance breakdowns at home the past few months and just recently had the washer/dryer combo give it up (not fixable anymore) and so we've found ourselves down at the laundromat on the w/ends trying to get some towels and clothes to wear for the week.

    And I'm running non-stop for dad, handling all of his affairs, making inquiries, and trying to put all of it together...and of course, it's thankless...dad is pissed off at me...I guess from not being there every single day...but I've got all of his business and we never get to any of ours anymore...we can't get to the grocery store or make lunches for work, there is just nothing left.

    And then I ask him if the 'sister' had come by...and then he transforms himself and glows and points to his chest - the message is 'she loves me.' Whenever me and Kim come see him, all we get is a scowl and he closes up and won't talk...anybody else comes by and all of a sudden, he can talk and is no longer using sign language.

    It's galling - we're working our **** off for this guy and he $hits on us everyday and twice on Sundays. And I think I've handled his affairs admirable and have a pretty good handle, but it takes all of my time outside of work.

    So, with all of that going on, we have been going mad...and I've tried to use my writing to divert my attention off of all of that to see if it can bring me a sense of any relief. It's helped me some. The fun has been sucked out of me and I thought some creative writing would help to keep me sane.

    I had opened up the story of BB, which was a precursor to the one I just closed...and that one was supposed to be a setup for another fun project that I wanted to do for $hits and giggles for the group.

    I did put alot of time into that post - I worked on it during my lunch breaks and it took me about 7-8 days to write it. There were parts I thought were pretty funny and BB had a couple of stories and a dream story of his own - so it was all in good fun etc.

    And then something just snapped...there were alot of new folks who just came on board this week...and when that happens, there is a flurry of new activity and questions and exchanges between the new folks...and when I saw that they needed help, I just sort of asked myself why my post was even there.

    They are too new to get the gag...so I thought it was better to open up the space for real posts and perhaps find some calmer waters to possibly look at this again. It just seemed silly to me to talk about the things that were unimportant when compared to the scope of cancer and new members needing some real help.

    I guess alot of my friends were off-line and with the influx of new members, I could see that this post was just not right for the time. Most of the time, I try and weave a post in here and there, when it looks like things are calmer than normal. I just happened to open it on a day when there was alot of new activity.

    I just felt selfish I guess. I've really been under the gun...all of the things going have really been too much for me...as much emotional as it is physical. My chest gets tight every time I go to visit and the sense of dread is overpowering...a couple of times last week, I thought about going to the ER, because my chest was so heavy, I thought it was going to collapse.

    Just work, work, and no fun...BB was my sort of fun post...just a new way to write - going through Big Billy...I thought it was kind of clever.

    I will re-think this...I can't open the next post or do what I wanted to do, if I don't have this post as the set-up....BB was going to YouTube as part of the dream sequence I wrote about...he was going to sing one of ZZ Top's song and then I was going to post a link so you could check it out and get a chuckle....

    I'm trying to find the fun again:)

    Well, there you have it - straight from the horse's ****:)

    I was wrong and I know that now...had I been thinking clearer, I would have left it lay and die a natural death. As always, thank you all for your supportive words to me and the Double B...I know most people don't care for him and I get that...some of you do like him though...and it was for you, that I did it in the first place.

    He's very real to me and he was born from a tough time in my life and I dig him and just wanted to have some fun with him and use him to talk about some things I've had going in the "3rd person."

    I wanted to have fun with my friends, because I have little else to live for, if I'm being perfectly honest...and you know I don't fib.

    This has just been such a bad episode in our lives - and everywhere I turn, there is nowhere to hide....only when I lay down at night and finally get unconscious is there any peace...and then between 530-600, I have to get up and look at it all again.

    And me and Kim's health stuff is on both of our minds....things are just endless and I want so much for some type of stability or closure...

    Thanks for listening - and that's what happened....you all know that I bleed too, right?

    Love/Craig
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,715 Member
    Thoughts
    You are always in my thoughts. We have been so busy and I've not been much on the boards lately, but plan to be more soon very soon. Sorry you are going through so much and remember, never ever feel that what you have to say is not worthy of a post. Even though there will always be "new members", you are a valued part of this group and I've always welcomed all your posts. Don't run from what is in your heart.

    Hugs! Kim
  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215
    Sundanceh said:

    "Big Billy Back by Viewer Demand?"
    Well, after Leena's post, it struck me that I f'd up. She and I were talking about the new avatar I had up...and I told her it tied into the new post I was working on - and then she comes to see it, only to find it gone.

    I guess I should not have pulled the trigger so hastily. I've really been overwhelmed as most of you know - and at times things can get a little confusing and my nerves are frayed.

    One of the church sisters is still trying to make my life miserable at every turn...she's up to something and we're just waiting for her to make her move...it looks like she may have enlisted hospital personnel to help her at every facility we've been to. Despite me trying to lock it down, she has fanagled her way into building alliances and working against me in any fashion that she can. The whole thing looks like some sort of conspiracy theory, but I can't prove anything definitively.

    Of course, when she does show her hand, I'll pick up the phone and call the atty to address whatever course of action she tries. She's not the type to lay down - there is something in it that she is trying to get and you just get to where you can't even trust the administrators that are in charge of these places - so much deception and bad human nature on display.

    And we're moving dad all the time - here, there, everywhere and there's just not a minute break....we have had some applicance breakdowns at home the past few months and just recently had the washer/dryer combo give it up (not fixable anymore) and so we've found ourselves down at the laundromat on the w/ends trying to get some towels and clothes to wear for the week.

    And I'm running non-stop for dad, handling all of his affairs, making inquiries, and trying to put all of it together...and of course, it's thankless...dad is pissed off at me...I guess from not being there every single day...but I've got all of his business and we never get to any of ours anymore...we can't get to the grocery store or make lunches for work, there is just nothing left.

    And then I ask him if the 'sister' had come by...and then he transforms himself and glows and points to his chest - the message is 'she loves me.' Whenever me and Kim come see him, all we get is a scowl and he closes up and won't talk...anybody else comes by and all of a sudden, he can talk and is no longer using sign language.

    It's galling - we're working our **** off for this guy and he $hits on us everyday and twice on Sundays. And I think I've handled his affairs admirable and have a pretty good handle, but it takes all of my time outside of work.

    So, with all of that going on, we have been going mad...and I've tried to use my writing to divert my attention off of all of that to see if it can bring me a sense of any relief. It's helped me some. The fun has been sucked out of me and I thought some creative writing would help to keep me sane.

    I had opened up the story of BB, which was a precursor to the one I just closed...and that one was supposed to be a setup for another fun project that I wanted to do for $hits and giggles for the group.

    I did put alot of time into that post - I worked on it during my lunch breaks and it took me about 7-8 days to write it. There were parts I thought were pretty funny and BB had a couple of stories and a dream story of his own - so it was all in good fun etc.

    And then something just snapped...there were alot of new folks who just came on board this week...and when that happens, there is a flurry of new activity and questions and exchanges between the new folks...and when I saw that they needed help, I just sort of asked myself why my post was even there.

    They are too new to get the gag...so I thought it was better to open up the space for real posts and perhaps find some calmer waters to possibly look at this again. It just seemed silly to me to talk about the things that were unimportant when compared to the scope of cancer and new members needing some real help.

    I guess alot of my friends were off-line and with the influx of new members, I could see that this post was just not right for the time. Most of the time, I try and weave a post in here and there, when it looks like things are calmer than normal. I just happened to open it on a day when there was alot of new activity.

    I just felt selfish I guess. I've really been under the gun...all of the things going have really been too much for me...as much emotional as it is physical. My chest gets tight every time I go to visit and the sense of dread is overpowering...a couple of times last week, I thought about going to the ER, because my chest was so heavy, I thought it was going to collapse.

    Just work, work, and no fun...BB was my sort of fun post...just a new way to write - going through Big Billy...I thought it was kind of clever.

    I will re-think this...I can't open the next post or do what I wanted to do, if I don't have this post as the set-up....BB was going to YouTube as part of the dream sequence I wrote about...he was going to sing one of ZZ Top's song and then I was going to post a link so you could check it out and get a chuckle....

    I'm trying to find the fun again:)

    Well, there you have it - straight from the horse's ****:)

    I was wrong and I know that now...had I been thinking clearer, I would have left it lay and die a natural death. As always, thank you all for your supportive words to me and the Double B...I know most people don't care for him and I get that...some of you do like him though...and it was for you, that I did it in the first place.

    He's very real to me and he was born from a tough time in my life and I dig him and just wanted to have some fun with him and use him to talk about some things I've had going in the "3rd person."

    I wanted to have fun with my friends, because I have little else to live for, if I'm being perfectly honest...and you know I don't fib.

    This has just been such a bad episode in our lives - and everywhere I turn, there is nowhere to hide....only when I lay down at night and finally get unconscious is there any peace...and then between 530-600, I have to get up and look at it all again.

    And me and Kim's health stuff is on both of our minds....things are just endless and I want so much for some type of stability or closure...

    Thanks for listening - and that's what happened....you all know that I bleed too, right?

    Love/Craig

    Craig, you, Kim and of
    Craig, you, Kim and of course Big Billy are always in my thoughts and prayers.

    Jeff
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    Thoughts
    You are always in my thoughts. We have been so busy and I've not been much on the boards lately, but plan to be more soon very soon. Sorry you are going through so much and remember, never ever feel that what you have to say is not worthy of a post. Even though there will always be "new members", you are a valued part of this group and I've always welcomed all your posts. Don't run from what is in your heart.

    Hugs! Kim

    "I Can Never Fool You, Kim..."
    You have come to know me so well. You are part of that "2009 Class" that was such a special time on the boards...it warms my heart to still see you here and posting. We have talked many times about a good many things.

    I need friends like you in my life that care for me - and can help me back up when I stumble...I've never hid the fact that I am vulnerable, fallible, frail and weak at different times of my life...they are as important as all of the strong virtures - as the two worlds collide to form the man that I've become...still a work in progress...and probably always will be.

    I so love everyone here, but this morning, I've thought about all of our old friends, whose faces I would have seen on this post - faces and voices that I miss and whose absences still haunts my soul.

    It still remains a phenomenon to me how closely we tie together to one another...how all of our feelings that we express and share can be received and understood by our fellow bretheren. Everything is always as real as what we want to make it - and how we choose to see it.

    As with any medium used for communication - "There is a Sender - and the other end - there is a Receiver."

    Thank you so much for continuing to be on the 'receiving end' - during those times in my life, when I need to send out an SOS:)

    Love/Craig
  • jjaj133
    jjaj133 Member Posts: 867
    Sundanceh said:

    The Fault is Squarely On Me...
    Marie

    Just trying to catch my breath - just got in from the hospital:)

    You didn't do anything wrong, Marie...you were sweet and thoughtful as you always are and I appreciated your comments - you are always so helpful and supportive.

    I deleted my own thread...parts of it were okay, but as I kept re-reading it, I just thought it was a waste of everyone's time on this one...and it just didn't come out the way I wanted it to sound...I was hoping to make it disappear before anyone else noticed that it was posted and removed.

    I want to thank all of you ladies for posting your support...I'm sorry to have deleted it, but I just thought that I should spare the group from reading all of that nonsense.

    Please accept my apologies. This was embarassing and I'm truly sorry.

    -Craig

    Craig, you dear sweet man.
    Craig, you dear sweet man. So much going on in your life and you took the time to write me a beautiful post. "You had been thinking about me" Selfish? I think not.
    You write for escape and to make us smile. Selfish? I think not.
    You are handling your dad's affairs and dad. Selfish? I think not.
    You are dealing with you own illness and still running around trying to care for everyone else. Selfish? PUlleese!
    Take care of those chest pains. We are all selfish enough to want you around for a long time.
    If you ever call yourself selfish again, I will hunt you down and smack the bejesus out of you,.
    Hugs my friend,
    Judy
  • smokeyjoe
    smokeyjoe Member Posts: 1,425
    Sundanceh said:

    "I Can Never Fool You, Kim..."
    You have come to know me so well. You are part of that "2009 Class" that was such a special time on the boards...it warms my heart to still see you here and posting. We have talked many times about a good many things.

    I need friends like you in my life that care for me - and can help me back up when I stumble...I've never hid the fact that I am vulnerable, fallible, frail and weak at different times of my life...they are as important as all of the strong virtures - as the two worlds collide to form the man that I've become...still a work in progress...and probably always will be.

    I so love everyone here, but this morning, I've thought about all of our old friends, whose faces I would have seen on this post - faces and voices that I miss and whose absences still haunts my soul.

    It still remains a phenomenon to me how closely we tie together to one another...how all of our feelings that we express and share can be received and understood by our fellow bretheren. Everything is always as real as what we want to make it - and how we choose to see it.

    As with any medium used for communication - "There is a Sender - and the other end - there is a Receiver."

    Thank you so much for continuing to be on the 'receiving end' - during those times in my life, when I need to send out an SOS:)

    Love/Craig

    Oh Craig.. you didn't screw
    Oh Craig.. you didn't screw up at all!!! Take care of yourself and Kim first, you've got so much on your plate right now. We'll catch up with BB in future posts, no worries :)
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    jjaj133 said:

    Craig, you dear sweet man.
    Craig, you dear sweet man. So much going on in your life and you took the time to write me a beautiful post. "You had been thinking about me" Selfish? I think not.
    You write for escape and to make us smile. Selfish? I think not.
    You are handling your dad's affairs and dad. Selfish? I think not.
    You are dealing with you own illness and still running around trying to care for everyone else. Selfish? PUlleese!
    Take care of those chest pains. We are all selfish enough to want you around for a long time.
    If you ever call yourself selfish again, I will hunt you down and smack the bejesus out of you,.
    Hugs my friend,
    Judy

    LOL Judy!
    I love it!

    Someone has to keep Craig on the right side of himself!

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    LOL Judy!
    I love it!

    Someone has to keep Craig on the right side of himself!

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties

    2X LOL to Marie and Judy:)
    LOL!

    You ladies (my honeys), know that with me - "It Takes a Village..."

    I never said it would be easy:)

    LOL! LOL! LOL!

    -Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    smokeyjoe said:

    Oh Craig.. you didn't screw
    Oh Craig.. you didn't screw up at all!!! Take care of yourself and Kim first, you've got so much on your plate right now. We'll catch up with BB in future posts, no worries :)

    Coming Soon...
    I'm not quite done with this post...couple of more things I wanted to add...I'll be back to re-visit this.

    -c:)
  • jjaj133
    jjaj133 Member Posts: 867
    Sundanceh said:

    2X LOL to Marie and Judy:)
    LOL!

    You ladies (my honeys), know that with me - "It Takes a Village..."

    I never said it would be easy:)

    LOL! LOL! LOL!

    -Craig

    woohoo, we made you smile.
    woohoo, we made you smile. yay us.
    but i will hunt u down so remember what i said.
    j
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    jjaj133 said:

    woohoo, we made you smile.
    woohoo, we made you smile. yay us.
    but i will hunt u down so remember what i said.
    j

    "You Know Where to Find Me, Darlin' :)
    Call me and tell me you're coming...and I'll roll out the welcome wagon and give you a great big Texas bear hug - one of my specialities:)

    Nobody has ever asked me for a refund - not yet, anyway:)

    LOL!

    BTW, you always make me smile...you're good for me:)

    Love/Craig
  • jjaj133
    jjaj133 Member Posts: 867
    Sundanceh said:

    "You Know Where to Find Me, Darlin' :)
    Call me and tell me you're coming...and I'll roll out the welcome wagon and give you a great big Texas bear hug - one of my specialities:)

    Nobody has ever asked me for a refund - not yet, anyway:)

    LOL!

    BTW, you always make me smile...you're good for me:)

    Love/Craig

    aww, if you ever come to
    aww, if you ever come to Tampa, let me know, I got a Texan for a son in law so I know how good a Texas bear hug can be. really, be my guest, we'll go see mickey mouse. ; )